


Breaking Waves

by Reylodyade



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Best Friends, Boss/Employee Relationship, British, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hate to Love, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 47,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29658249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reylodyade/pseuds/Reylodyade
Summary: Rey was already regretting having accepted that job offer. It looked very suspicious. She hadn't spoken to the business owner once, only to his secretary, Phasma.Not that Rey was not grateful, after all, the Amidala Company was the only company interested in hiring her in months after her scandal with Hux agency. But something was warning Rey   to be careful, as if that was a trap. She had a bad feeling.- Miss Kenobi? - Phasma called her- he's waiting.Rey got up and entered the room, knocking on the door before entering. She closed the door behind her and turned to the office. It was a huge room, with glass walls overlooking the beaches of Los Angeles.Then Rey stopped walking, almost two meters from the table when she finally saw who was sitting on it. Ben Solo, the boy who had made her teenagehood a living hell, making fun of her for being an orphan and then, when she grew up and became an attractive woman,  started hitting on her like a womanizing asshole.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Phasma, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 104
Kudos: 67





	1. 1

Rey was lying on the beach, under a umbrella, wearing sunglasses and a swimsuit that showed off the curves of her body. She pretended not to see the eyes of the men around looking at her as not to stress herself out. She had gone there to relax. The last week had been a pandemonium, she had scoured all over Los Angeles for a job, but nobody wanted to employ the scandalous architect who had been fired from the largest real estate agency in England. Especially with all the false rumors that she had offered herself to her boss, when in fact, Hux had tried to abuse her, and when she denied him, he fired her without delay.

This story always made Rey furious. Hux was a son of a bitch, and she was the bitch of the story?

Rey was brought out of her thoughts when a ball flew in her direction. She rolled off the chair, falling into the sand, before the ball hit her face. She looked in the direction from where the ball had come: a bunch of adults playing volleyball, laughing at how she had fallen to the ground. One of them, a young man with black skin that glistened with sweat and a bare chest, was coming toward her.

Rey picked the ball up off the floor, stood up and walked towards him, fury stamped all over her face. She lunged at one of the men who couldn't stop laughing, a dark-haired young man, and threw it between his legs. The ball hit his scrotum hard. The man gave a scream and bent forward, gripping his mid-legs with his hands. .

The man coming towards her looked back with a laugh. .

\- Sorry about Poe- he said, with a British accent. Rey looked up at him and took off her glasses, showing her dark eyebrows curved in a bemused expression. The man stopped where he was standing, looking at her - Are you all right? .

\- As much as possible- she said. .

Rey was turning to go back to her chair when the man said: .

\- I am Finn. What is your name? .

Rey turned to him. .

\- How about we don't do this?- she said, without patience. .

\- What? I just want to know your name. .

\- yeah, sure. .

\- I'm serious. I don't meet many Brits here in Los Angeles. I don't know many, anyway. .

Rey let out an impatient sigh. .

\- Rey- she said, waiting for his reaction, which she had seen in all the others. .

\- Rey?-he said-that Rey Kenobi? .

\- yeah. Happy now? .

Finn smiled a white smile. .

\- Welcome to California, Rey- he said, -here - he took a napkin from his pocket and wrote something down - if you get lost or need help of any kind, you can call. .

Rey took the napkin, not very interested, as Finn turned back to his friends. .

Rey went back to her chair, put on her glasses and closed her eyes, hoping that she could finally rest. Then her cell phone started ringing in her purse. .

Annoyed, Rey reached for her cell phone. Her eyes widened when she saw the number that was calling her. It was Amidala Company. .

Rey straightened up in her chair and took off her glasses. She cleared her throat and answered. .

\- hello?- she said .

\- Rey Kenobi?- a woman's voice said on the other end of the line .

\- yes, that's me. .

\- Good afternoon, Miss Kenobi. I'm calling through the Amidala Company to invite you to a job interview tomorrow at three o'clock. We have reviewed your resume and are interested. .

Rey gave a huge smile, and almost forgot to answer. .

\- er, yes. I'd love to. Three o'clock, right? .

\- Exactly. I'll email you the address. We'll wait for you. .

\- Thank you so much- she said- what's your name? .

\- Phasma.

\- thank you very much, Phasma. .

\- Have a nice afternoon. .

Phasma hung up. Rey put her cell phone on her chest. She could hardly believe that she had got an interview. She had been searching all week, and almost a whole month back in England, for a job. She finally got one interview! .

She jumped out of her chair, gathered her things, and hurried back home. She had to wash her hair. It was all dirty with sea water and sand. And she had to decide the clothes she was going to wear to the interview, after all, she wouldn't ruin what might be her last chance to work in architecture.


	2. 2

The next day Rey woke up early. She did her morning exercises, ate her breakfast, and went for a run on the beach. 

She was wearing her headphones when he approached her, startling her. 

Rey turned to Finn, who was running beside her, and took off her headphones. 

\- What do you want? 

\- wow. You're always in a bad mood, aren't you? 

\- no. - She said, slowing down the pace of her run -I'm getting ready for a decisive day. I'm trying to control my anxiety, that's all. I'm sorry if I sound rude. 

\- All right- he said, looking at her - a decisive day, huh? What are you doing today? 

Rey wondered if it was a good idea to tell this strange that. She decided yes, since she would probably never see him again. 

\- I have a job interview. 

\- ah!- he smiled - that's great. I hope you do well. 

\- oh, don't pretend you haven't heard the rumors. You can judge me if you want. 

\- I wasn't going to judge you. I don't know what really happened. Rumors never have much of the truth. I prefer to hear all sides of the story. 

Rey turned forward.  


\- Well, I'm not going to tell you mine. I don't know you.  


Finn laughed.  


\- I already gave you my number- he said- if you ever need a stranger to talk to, feel free to call.  
Finn turned away from her, heading toward the sea to a swimm.  


Rey continued on her way home. She took a shower to wipe off all the sweat and had lunch.  


Rey began to get ready two hours earlier. She wore a knee-length black skirt with small slits at the sides, a wine long-sleeved shirt, and a black jacket. She put on black heels and combed her short hair until it was straightened into place. She put on some make-up without exaggerating, picked up her purse, and left the house.  


She took a cab to the address Phasma had sent her, but the secretary called her halfway there.  


\- Hello?- Rey answered  


\- Hello, Miss Kenobi?  


\- Yes?  


\- I apologize, your interview has been delayed for half an hour because the director is stuck in traffic. Have you left home? 

\- Yes, I have. But I can wait, no problem.  


\- No? Oh, thank you very much. And I apologize for the unexpected situation.  


\- That's okay.  


\- ok, have a good afternoon.  


Phasma hung up. The driver arrived at the address. Rey decided to walk around the neighborhood to pass the time until it was time for her interview. She went into a few stores, looking at the prices of expensive coats. She wondered if winter in California was as avid as winter in London. She still couldn't imagine those Californians who walked around in nothing but summer clothes in the city wearing those furry coats. It would be as if she were in a totally different place.  


At ten past three, Rey walked back to the company building, where she was told by the receptionist to go up to the twentieth floor. She barely stepped out of the elevator and bumped into an employee who was rushing out, almost knocking her down.  


\- I'm sorry- he said, turning around before getting into the elevator.  


Rey went to the table at the end of the hall, where there was a very tall white woman with short blond hair. She raised her eyes to her and gave a smile.  


\- Miss Kenobi? -she said, and Rey recognized her voice from the phone.  


\- Phasma?- she said  


\- yes. Welcome to the Amidala Company - he handed Rey a clipboard - please fill out this form. I'll talk to the director and call you right back.  


Phasma stood up and entered the room on the left side of the hall. Rey sat down to fill out the form.  


That was when Rey began to feel insecure about the situation. It couldn't have been that quick and easy. Something was wrong.  


Rey was already regretting accepting the job offer. It seemed very suspicious. She had not spoken to the manager once, only to his secretary, Phasma.  


Not that Rey wasn't grateful, after all, the Amidala Company was the only company interested in hiring her months after her scandal with the Hux agency. But something was warning Rey to be careful, as if this was a trap. She had a bad feeling.  


\- Miss Kenobi?- Phasma called out - he's waiting.  


Rey stood up and walked into the room, knocking before entering. She closed the door behind her and turned into the office. It was a huge room with glass walls with a view of the beaches of Los Angeles.  


Then Rey stopped walking, almost two meters from the desk when she finally saw who was sitting at it.  


Ben Solo, the boy who made her teenagehood a living hell, mocking her for being an orphan and then, when she grew up and became an attractive woman, started hitting on her like a womanizing asshole.  


Rey stared at him, mouth hanging open, shock running down her face. Ben looked back at her, with a neutral expression, as if he didn't know her, his hands clasped together in front of his body.  


Rey closed her mouth, taking a step backwards.  


\- No - she muttered to herself. She would not subject herself again to live another day around that douchebag.  


\- What?- he said- I'm sorry, I can't hear you.  


Rey frowned at him. His voice didn't indicate sarcasm, but she knew he was trying to make fun of her.  


\- stop being an asshole , Solo- she said, full of anger in her voice.  


Ben frowned at her and stood up.  


\- What did you say?  


Rey was confused. Did he really not remember her? She looked him up and down. He had grown in muscle, his chest expanding so much that the buttons on his shirt struggled to keep it closed. His hair had also grown, covering his big ears that had been hell on him at school.  


She looked up into his face.  


\- Don't you remember me?- she asked.  


\- Of course I remember you, Rey - he said, and hearing her name in his voice was like being pulled back to her teenage years, when he had teased her and chased her around the school shouting, "Rey's a nobody, Rey's a nobody, she has no family. Go cry to your mommy, oh yeah, you don't have one!"  


\- how dare you do that?- she said  


\- do what?  


Rey wanted to slap him in the face. How cynical he was.  


\- This is just a joke to you, isn't it? You called me here just to humiliate me more than I'm already humiliated. Thank you very much for your ill will, but I don't want another part of my life ruined by you.- she turned around to go away.  


She was almost out the door when Ben interrupted her, stepping in front of her. She almost bumped into his large chest, taking a few steps back, suddenly aware of how much he had grown and how big his presence had become.  


\- This is not a joke, Rey - he said - you need a job, I need a chief architect. If you want to try your luck with any other company, go ahead, I guarantee you there won't be as many with the opportunity I'm giving you.  


Rey held back from spitting in the face of that ridiculously big and strong and wide and massive piece of shit...  


Rey interrupted herself as she realized the course her thoughts were taking. What was she thinking? She felt disgusted with herself  


\- I don't trust you, Solo - she said - you're the kind of person who doesn't change. You're going to keep making my life a hell. And if having peace means that I have to spend another six months looking for a job, I have no problem waiting.  


Ben approached her, straddling her until she reached his table. He looked deeply into her eyes.  


\- I'm not here to deal with the past, Kenobi-he said-I'm not playing the boss. I'm being tested. I don't want to make your life a hell, because that would make my life a hell - he said - I'll offer you a deal. I give you a job, you give me results, and we don't make each other's lives difficult, what do you think?  


Rey was really uncomfortable with Ben's closeness. She passed through under his arm, backing away. He turned to her.  


\- Why should I believe you? Why don't you find a better architect?  


\- Because all the architects are on my mother's side, and she made it very clear that if I didn't get one on my own, I would lose the firm. This company has been in my family since my grandmother founded it. I can't lose it.  


Rey frowned. Ben took a deep breath.  


\- Why don't you think about it - he said, - you know where to call when you have an answer.  


Rey turned, leaving the room as quickly as possible. She left the building without looking back, with memories of her adolescence bubbling up in her brain. She would not work for the devil. Never.


	3. 3

Rey had spent three days thinking about that Ben story. She didn't want to work with him. She wished she could talk to someone about it. But she had no one to talk to. She didn't have anyone she knew in California. 

Maybe...maybe she could call a stranger. 

No. She wasn't going to call him. What was she thinking? He was just trying to hit on her. 

....... 

But... 

But maybe she needed the help of a total stranger after all. Maybe she should give him a chance. 

Rey picked up the phone, without thinking and called Finn .

\- Hello?-he said .

\- Finn? 

\- Rey?- he said, in a surprised tone- oh, you finally found a reason to call me, didn't you? 

\- don't start bragging. I need help with something. 

\- Why? Did what happen? 

Rey bit the tip of her finger, hesitant to tell him. She must have been going crazy to tell something so intimate to a stranger she met on the beach.  


\- Meet me at the beach in ten minutes - she said.  


Rey hung up and walked down to the beach, judging herself, all the way down, for being such a stupid person.  


She found Finn on the beach, facing the sea. This time he was wearing clothes, which Rey appreciated very much. She didn't feel comfortable talking to him while he was wearing only shorts.  


Rey stopped beside him  


\- Hello, Finn.  


He looked at her.  


\- Hello, Rey.  


They started walking down the beach. Finn turned to Rey.  


\- so. What happened?  


Rey told him everything. At first she was hesitant, but she decided to tell him everything. From her past with Solo till his job offer.  


Finn remained silent after she told him everything. He analyzed the situation before saying anything.  


\- I don't think you have much choice - he said - unless you decide to give up working in architecture. - he drew a deep breath - It's going to be horrible to work with him, I'm sure. But this might be your only chance to rebuild your reputation. You give it your best shot, and if he keeps up his part of the deal of not disturbing you, it won't be so bad as high school. And when you're a little better off financially, you find a good lawyer, unblock your account in England, and start over. Rebuild your life. See it as a sacrifice you have to make before you can achieve your victory.  


Rey stared at Finn. She hadn't imagined he would be good at advice. Or so stupidly realistic. Because she already knew she had no choice, she just needed to hear it from someone else to make sure that she really didn't have any other option.  


\- do you think I should call?  


\- I do. What day did you go there?  


\- three days ago.  


\- That's long enough. But make it clear to him that you're not kidding. Don't make any openings for him. I've dealt with a lot of people like that. If you leave an inch of window open, they'll get in without you even knowing it.  


Rey smiled.  


\- I didn't think you were that kind of person- she said.  


He looked at him.  


\- What did you think I was going to do?  


\- I don't know. I thought you were hitting on me.  


Finn burst out laughing.  


\- No. I'm already engaged. Why? Did it seems like I was...?  


\- a little- she said- but it's okay.  


\- does that mean you'll stop considering me a stranger?  


\- No - she said, teasing him - you're still weird. A weird stranger.  


Finn laughed.  


\- Okay, go call him. Then you call me and tell me what happened, okay?  


\- Okay.  


Finn walked away. Rey took her phone and called the Amidala Company.  


\- Amidala Company central office, good afternoon, who am I speaking with?- Phasma said, on the other end of the line.  


\- Good afternoon, Phasma. May I speak to Director Solo?- she said.  


\- Miss Kenobi?- she said- ah, I'm not sure that...  


\- put him on the phone, Phasma. He's expecting my call.  


\- One minute - she said, and then there was silence on the line. A few minutes later, she heard someone's breath - Rey - Ben Solo's voice was like a ghost, haunting Rey's soul.  


She kept silent at first, struggling to get her voice out.  


\- I'm not interested in seeing you everyday- she said- or having to work with you, much less talking to you. But I don't have much choice. I'll accept your offer with one condition: you won't open your mouth about my life. You will only talk to me about work and nothing else.  


Ben swallowed hard.  


\- Ok. Deal done.  


\- When do I start, then?- she said.  


\- tomorrow. Be here at seven in the morning. Phasma will guide you through everything you need to know.  


\- Thank you, Solo.  


Rey hung up on him. She put down her cell phone and looked to the ocean. She took a deep breath. Rey would need a lot of strength and courage to face this challenge. She remembered, ironically, the promise she had made to herself. That she would not work for the devil. And there she was, signing the contract with Satan to enter in hell.


	4. 4

Rey returned home. She cleaned up, made lunch, and sat down to eat. Then her phone rang.  
\- Hello?-she answered.  


\- Rey!- Jannah's voice made her smile.  


\- Jannah -she said- how are you? I miss you so much!  


\- Me too, girl- she said -I'm going to California! I'll be there by the end of the week.  


\- What? Why ?  


\- Because you're terrible at being alone. I can't leave you like this. I got a job opportunity too. It's going to be a career booster. Can I stay at your place?  


\- Of course you can! Wow. I wasn't expecting this! I can't wait!  


Jannah was Rey's best friend. They had met in college. Jannah was a financial director, and they hated each other at first, but later became inseparable.  


\- What good has happened in your life?- Jannah asked.  


\- I got a job- she said - but you're not going to like the story.  


\- Tell me, tell me!  


Rey told her. Hannah screamed so loudly into the phone that Rey had to hold the phone away from her face to keep herself from going deaf.  


\- Why did you do that, you fool? Have you lost your mind? Why did you go and listen to a stranger?  


\- now it's done.  


\- Why didn't you call me?  


\- I don't know. I didn't want to get in the way. You're always busy.  


\- Not for this! Not for you to do something stupid like this. Oh my God, Rey! You really have no idea - she laughed - now you'll have to work for that bastard. Poor girl.  


\- Don't make fun of me. It's hard enough on its own.  


\- Well, you made the decision. You know you'll have to bear the consequences. But don't panic, I'll be there to help you.  


\- I'll start tomorrow. You'll arrive at the end of the week.  


\- So what? You call me- Jannah coughed- don't forget to call me, or I'll be pestering you all night with shouting messages from me.  


Rey laughed. That was so Jannah.  


\- I don't doubt it. I'll call you. Now tell me what's been going on with you besides what you told me.  


\- I broke up with Joe, girl - she said - finally. It was about time. He was so clingy. Ugh.  


\- He was needy. And you didn't break up with him before because you enjoy seeing him suffer.  


\- I'm not that bad.  


\- Yes, you are.  


\- Anyway. Now I'm a single, successful woman. Going to California to get the opportunity of her career and get her friend out of the mud.  


\- Hey, I'm not in the mud, you dullard.  


\- You're going to work with the guy you hated. And that you had a secret crush on because you have Stockholm syndrome and daddy issues.  


\- I didn't have a crush on him, no.  


\- Yes, you did. You didn't realize it. You were blown off all four wheels for him.  


\- Oh, stop. I hate that guy.  


Jannah laughed from the other side.  


\- Anyway. I have to go. I have to pack my things 

\- Good luck.  


\- thank you. Love you, jujube. See you soon.  


\- love you, little bean.  


Jannah hung up. Rey put down her cell phone and looked down at her plate. Her mind kept running on what Jannah had said.  


She had had no other feelings for Ben than hate, of that she was certain. And she didn't have Stockholm syndrome, that was for sure. Maybe a little daddy issues. And it wasn't her fault, she was an orphan. She had neither father nor mother. She had been raised by her maternal grandfather, Obi-wan Kenobi, until he died when she was 16, and she had to move in with her paternal grandfather, Sheev Palpatine, who treated her very badly until she turned 18 and moved out on her own.  


Rey hated being called Palpatine. She did not like her grandfather. He was a rude and traumatizing person. She hated being reffered to as Palpatine's granddaughter.  


And even after nine years, in her full 27 years, Rey was still called Rey Palpatine by some. She always had to correct people to call her Kenobi. It was exhausting.  


Ben used to call her Palpatine, to make fun of her even more. He was older than her, and had spent his entire senior year of high school leaving rude and aggressive notes in her locker. And then acted as if nothing had happened and hit on her when she walked by. She hated him so much.  


Rey lost her hunger. She put her plate in the refrigerator and went to check her e-mails. She went to bed early that night, preparing herself for a stressful day ahead. 

Rey woke up the next day and took a shower, trying to motivate herself to act. She wanted to get away from there. Escape from what she would have to face.  
Rey forced herself to swallow her coffee. She put on formal clothes to go to work, fixed her hair and her purse.  


Before she left home, she was looking in the mirror, finishing fixing her hair, when a memory took her from where she was and took her back to St.James Basclard School, one of the best schools in England, where she was studying as a scholarship student. Her grandfather had been very proud when she got the scholarship. They had spent the whole day before the first day buying things and food. She was so excited. And when she arrived, she met so many people. And they all looked at her with this pitying look, looking down at her poor clothes and her simple stuff.  


That's when she saw Ben. He looked like a mini adult, all starched in expensive clothes and with short hair combed over his eyes. He was closing the door to his locker. Rey thought that maybe he was different, that he was going to be nice. So she walked towards him with a smile on her face. And when she stopped beside him, he glared at her.  


\- What do you want?  


Rey had been quite confused by the way he had said that phrase, as if she were an annoying animal.  


\- My name is Rey - she said - I'm new...  


\- I don't care- he said, turning to her- nobody cares, and nobody cares about you. No one will look at a poor girl like you - he looked her up and down and left.  


Rey stared down the hall, jaw clenched, trying to control her crying as people laughed around her. She had been humiliated on her first day of school, and that was only the beginning of hell.  


But she kept going even though every day Ben made fun of her. Even though some days it was so bad that she would hide in the cleaning cupboard to cry. Because she wouldn't let him win. She would do her best, and one day, she would step on his throat, making him regret what he had done.  


Rey looked at herself in the mirror. How ashamed she would be if that fifteen-year-old Rey saw her at that moment, about to go out for another round of humiliation at Solo's hands. She would hate herself. She did hate herself for that.  


Rey left the house, in a hurry. She arrived at the company at six forty. She went up to the 20th floor and said good morning to Phasma.  


\- Good morning, Miss Kenobi- she said.  


\- Director Solo said that you would explain to me how things work here.  


\- yes, come with me.  


Rey followed her. She liked Phasma. And she felt sorry for her. She must have been either too strong or too naive to work for Solo. She deserved better than that. She seemed to be very intelligent and capable. And her height intimidated and fascinated Rey. She was a very beautiful woman.  


Phasma stopped in front of a door and opened it. She entered the huge room, with tables full of models of buildings, with windows that looked like the ones in Solo's office, overlooking the city.  


\- this is your office- Phasma said- have you ever worked as chief architect before?- she turned to Rey.  


\- yes- Rey said, shutting up. She wouldn't tell her what she probably already knew. About her work at the Hux agency.  


\- then you know how it works. - she said - you will work directly between the other architects in the company, filtering everything they present to you, and with the civil engineer. You will be responsible for taking the final results of the meetings to director Solo, and he will have the final say. You should report to him once a week. And he will order some work outside the company if necessary.  


Rey nodded.  


\- if you need any help - Phasma said - you can call me.  


\- Thank you very much, Phasma.  


Phasma left the room and Rey closed the door. She left her purse on the table, where there was an envelope. She sat down and opened the envelope.  


.  


" Miss Kenobi,  


Welcome to the Amidala Company. I hope that the time you are employed here will be of good use to you.  
I want to inform you that at 8:00 there will be a meeting to introduce you to the rest of the architects and the civil engineer. Phasma will take you to the conference room.  


Have a nice day.  


Ben Solo."  


Rey crumpled up the letter and threw it in the trash beside her desk. He thought he could pretend he wasn't a pathetic person by being the least bit decent to her. What a fool.  


Rey turned to the glass windows that covered the entire wall behind her desk from floor to ceiling. She explored the room a little, taking a look at the models and furniture.  


When it was finally eight o'clock, she went to talk to Phasma. She led her into the conference room.  


Rey entered the room, finding only Solo, alone. She looked at him, he turned to her. They stared at each other for a moment, when everyone else arrived and took their seats.  


But even after Rey sat down in the chair where her name was, he didn't look away .


	5. 5

Rey ignored Solo's gaze completely. He only stopped looking when everyone was already seated. He brought his hands to the one button on his suit that was closed and opened it.  


\- good morning- he said  


The room responded a 'good morning' in unison. Rey noticed, raising her eyes to Ben's hands as he slipped them into his trouser pockets, that they were shaking slightly. He was nervous.  


\- I can finally say that our team is complete- he said- this morning, Miss Kenobi joined us- he said, politely indicating with his hand in her direction. Rey stood up, looking at the other architects with a smile - as the chief architect of the Amidala Company.  


A round of hands followed Ben's words. But Rey realised, with a heaviness in her chest , that some of them were looking at her with disguised disgust, or not looking at her at all. Maybe she was destined to always be seen like this. As the poor girl with a dubious past.  


\- Would you like to say a few words, Miss Kenobi?- Ben said, looking at her.  


She tilted her head slightly.  


\- Yes, I would - she turned to the other architects. She wasn't there to make friends. She didn't care if they didn't like her. She'd give anything to keep that job until she got a better offer. Then she would go straight for the throat. Because no one had ever been able to control her tongue before, it would not be at that moment that she would shut up - I assume that many of you already know my reputation. And that you have already made speculations about me. - she said. Ben raised his eyes at her. What was she doing?- and perhaps you're wondering if Mr. Solo made a prudent decision in hiring me. Well, since I know that nothing I say will be believed, then I will ask that we maintain a professional relationship. I assure you that I am not as much as a bad person as they say I am. Otherwise, Mr. Solo wouldn't have hired me. Thank you very much.  


Rey sat down, leaving a heavy silence over the room. She could see the reactions of the architects around her. She had to compress her smile. As her grandfather always told her :" if you can't make a good impression, make an impression they can't forget and that will demand respect".  


Ben cleared his throat.  


\- Miss Falls please present our projects to Miss Kenobi,- he said, and sat down.  


The girl , that must've be twenty-three years old, turned to Ben with a startled look on her face. She must have been fresh out of college. Where had Ben met her from?  


Miss Falls stood up and walked over to the whiteboard at the other end of the room. She switched on the projector and handed Rey the worksheets and papers.  


\- good morning - she said nervously - um...the projects we've been working on lately are mostly for the Dardill Company. We have six projects for the construction of sports centres and commercial buildings. - she said, and presented project by project. Rey looked at each of the plans in silence. They were drawn perfectly, and there wasn't much she could correct. Except for the last design Falls presented. It didn't make much sense. Rey interrupted the girl in the middle of her speech.  


\- Excuse me- she said, raising her eyes from the plan to the girl- this project is for an art school?  


\- yes- the girl said, turning over the pen in her hands nervously.  


Rey frowned and looked at the plan again. She moved on to the other plans of the building and looked around.  


\- Who designed this? - she asked.  


The architects, who had been arguing with her minutes before with every correction she made to the other plans, fell silent.  


\- who designed it was Mr. Jones- Falls said.  


Rey looked at the man who had a sign with his name on it in front of him.  


\- Is there something wrong, Miss Kenobi?- he said, almost daring her to complain about his design.  


\- Correct me if I'm wrong, Miss Falls- Rey said- but Borchart School also caters for the performance arts area, right?  


\- Yes.  


\- Then where is the theatre? - She looked at Jones- you put everything in, and forgot that the arts include theatre? There is not even a performance room, a theatre for performances. Has this plan been presented to the owner yet?  


\- No, ma'am- Jones said, swallowing hard.  


\- Have any of these plans been presented to the owners?- she looked around, and her eyes lingered a second longer on Solo. He was leaning back in his chair, watching her work, as if he wasn't there.  


\- Yes -Falls said - all the others were.  


\- no- Jones said- I haven't presented the plans I was responsible for doing to the owners yet.  


\- Why not?  


Jones looked around, with a question on his face.  


\- because usually companies do meetings first before presenting the final product to the owner.  


\- ah. - Rey said, trying to be patient. She was irritated by the look on Jones's face. He looked like a teenager listening to a lecture from his parents, as if he was right - well, you work for Amidala Company now, and from what it's clear, you present the plan to the owner first, in case they decides to change or add anything. That saves us time. Mr. Jones, redo your plans, take them to the owners, and get back to me here when you have decent material to present.- Rey placed his plans in front of him.  


Jones took the plans and stood up with a venomous look at her. He left the room in silence.  


Ben stood up.  


\- Is there anything else to discuss, Miss Falls? 

\- no, sir- she said  


\- then I'll end this meeting. The points that were highlighted need some improvement. Get to work! - the architects stood up.  


\- Miss Falls- Rey said, walking over to her.  


\- Yes?- she turned to Rey.  


\- Wait for me in my office. I need a word with you.  


She swallowed hard.  


\- Sure, Miss Kenobi.  


Rey waited until all the architects had left to follow Ben. She held him by the arm, waiting for the others to take some distance from them. Her hand burned into his clothes. Even the measly touch was horrible to her. She turned to him. The height difference made her look up and he looked down.  


\- Where did you get these people from, Solo?  


Ben frowned.  


\- From Europe. Where else? They're some of the best, to be honest.  


\- I'm not complaining, but I don't think so. That Jones, can't he read? Or research?  


Ben looked away, snorting in irritation. He ran a hand through his long hair, as dark as a raven's wings. Rey tried not to pay attention to how soft that hair looked, or how his hand was large and veiny, and gripped his hair in a way that made his bones look even more apparent.  


\- he's difficult- Ben said, taking Rey's attention away from his hair- he's not a bad architect, but he's usually a little limited.  


\- Well, it's not my company, but if I were you, I'd scare the crap out of him so he'd stop being like that. He could do a lot of damage. And Falls. That girl just got out of college! She's too young.  


\- I know. This is her first job. - he said.  


\- Oh, don't tell me you've been getting generous since high school? - she said, venom dripping from her tongue.  


Ben froze her with an irritated look.  


\- maybe I have - he said - it's none of your business why I hired her.  


Rey tilted her head.  


\- don't tell me she's your bitch now, Solo.  


\- What? Of course not. - he said- what kind of person do you think I am?  


\- the worst kind of person- she said- I can tell you that from self experience.  


Ben rolled his eyes.  


\- are you never gonna get over high school?  


\- thanks to you, no - she said ,in a controlled tone.  


Ben wiped his hand across his face and turned to her. Again, Rey couldn't control her eyes from following his huge hands. They were firm and raw, which made Rey's nerves blossom. Even if she was disgusted. It was as if his hands were a separate part of his body. If she could erase the rest of his presence, she might have even lost her breath at the sight of those brutal hands, but his familiar face would never let her have such a reaction.  


\- I hired her because she's good. Really good. And because her grandmother died recently. I used to give donations to her family, they moved from Iraq to England, they had nothing. And that girl has the potential of the gods. I don't want to waste it.  


Rey was taken by surprise. She hadn't expected that, not at all. She had never seen or heard of Ben doing any good deeds in his entire life, she didn't even think he was capable of kindness. He had just shown a whole new face of him, it was as if he was a totally different person to the one she had known in high school.  


\- Well, if you've got nothing else to say, I've got business to attend to-Ben turned his back on her and stalked off down the hall.  


Rey stared at the wall, still trying to absorb this new information. Maybe Ben had changed a little, after all.


	6. 6

Rey went to her office and found Falls there. She was standing near the door, talking to herself when Rey walked in. She stopped immediately upon hearing the door and turned to her.  


\- Come out of there, Miss Falls- she said- sit down.  


Falls sat down in front of Rey's desk. Rey sat down on the other side and looked at the girl.  


\- What is your name?- Rey said.  


\- Regina, ma'am- she said nervously.  


Rey smiled as she realized how anxious the girl was.  


\- I'm not going to fight with you, Regina. Can I call you Regina?  


The girl looked at her and nodded.  


\- You don't have to be nervous, Regina. I just want to talk a little - she said, and Regina sank her back into the chair - how old are you, Regina?  


\- Twenty four- she said.  


\- Really? You're so young. Is this your first job?  


\- Yes, ma'am.  


\- Oh, please. Call me Rey- she said.  


\- All right- she said, with an embarrassed smile.  


\- Mr. Solo told me about you. He said you're really good.  


Regina's cheeks flushed a deep red.  


\- Rey - she said - Mr. Solo is a very kind person. I don't know if you knew him before - she said, without stopping - he helped my family, and he was always very kind and of very good character.  


Rey had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. Maybe Solo had changed, but not to the point of having a good character.  


\- I knew him before- she said, looking away. The image of Solo's hand jumped into her mind in a disturbing flash. She swallowed hard - so I know he can be very demanding. If he asks too much of you, tell me and I'll deal with him.  


Regina let out a giggle. Rey frowned at her.  


\- I'm sorry, Rey - she said - it's just that Mr. Solo, even being a good person, is a little difficult to deal with when it comes to work. I can handle him a little, but... are you sure you know him well enough to calm him down?  


Rey stared at the girl. She underestimated Solo too much. She would suffer for it. The moment she least expected it, he would show her who he was, and she would be disappointed.  


\- I went to the same school as Mr. Solo - she said, as if it were nothing. As if it wasn't the worst time of her life - I know how to make him see reason. - she really didn't , but she would scream with him if necessary.  


Regina raised her eyebrows.  


\- Is that why he hired you?  


\- of course not - she said, offended - he hired me because I'm his best chance.  


\- ah yes - she said, not believing it.  


\- anyway, that was it. - Rey said  


\- oh. Thanks for the support, Rey- Regina stood up- thanks a lot!  


Regina left the room. Rey ran her hand over her face. That child was so innocent, poor girl.  


Rey concentrated on doing what she had to do. She went through all the building plans again, making notes and corrections. She wrote her report to Solo before it was lunchtime, when she could look for a restaurant to eat in.  


She had barely sat down at the table and Finn called her.  


\- hello?- she said  


\- Rey! How was your first day?- he said on the other end of the line.  


\- Not as bad as I'd thought it would be - she said, taking the menu from the waiter who had stopped beside her- annoying, that's for sure. And you? What did you do today?  


\- I went to solve some of the details of my wedding. Speaking of which, you should meet my fiancée. Her name is Rose. She'd love to meet you. She knows this Ben Solo guy. She said she went to college with him. Maybe you can knock some sense into her, because she keeps saying he's a good guy.  


\- This one - Rey said to the waiter, pointing to the plate she had chosen. The waiter nodded and took the menu - So, Finn. People from the company keep telling me he's a good person too, and he even told me he did charity work some time ago. But let's be honest, I've known him the longest and I know what his core is like. Rotten as a black pea. He can pretend all he wants, I don't believe him.  


Finn laughed , dropping something on the floor.  


\- oh my god!  


\- FINN! -a woman's voice said in the background- I HOPE THAT WAS NOT MY GRANDMA'S GANHESHA, OR I WILL KILL YOU!  


\- it was nothing, honey - he said, then lowered his voice - I almost broke the ganesha, Rey - he laughed - by the way, that was my fiancée. I'll introduce her to you when we meet again.  


\- All right. I can't wait to meet her.  


\- I gotta go, Rey. I'm moving, and I need to finish packing. I'll talk to you later.  


\- Okay, bye, Finn.  


\- Bye.  


Finn hung up. Rey had lunch and went back to the company. When she got out of the lift, she noticed a commotion. The architects , including Regina, and Phasma , were leaning against Ben's door, trying to hear something inside.  


Rey frowned. She didn't mind them overhearing his conversation. But she had the minimal decency not to let that kind of behaviour spread through a company.  


\- Hey - she said - what are you doing? Get out of there now!  


They were startled and moved away from the door.  


\- Rey - Regina said - that's Miss Organa in there. She is talking to Mr Solo. She is a legend - she whispered.  


\- Yes, and you are a bunch of meddlers. The conversation is none of your business, get out of here!  


\- What's all the noise?- Leia Organa's voice said from inside the room before she opened the door.  


They all ran out, including Phasma, but not fast enough for Leia not to see them.  


Rey stared, in awe, at Leia Organa. She had never seen Ben's mother before. Mainly because she had never lived in England. From what little Rey knew of Ben's family, he had been sent to live alone and study in the UK when he was thirteen.  


Leia stared back at her, a giggle coming from her throat.  


\- These people - she sai - hilarious. You are?  


\- Rey-she said-Rey Kenobi.  


\- ah! Rey! I know you. Ben used to talk about you when he was a teenager. Come on in.  


Ben talked about her? Why would he? Did he tell his mother what he did with her? And if so, why did she allow it?  


\- No, ma'am. I don't want to interrupt.  


\- Oh, stop it! Aren't you the chief architect?  


\- Yes.  


\- so come in.  


Rey obeyed, more out of fear of being dragged inside than anything else. She entered and saw Ben, without his suit jacket, with his tie loosened and his white shirt with the first two buttons open. She immediately had a flashback of her teenage years.  


" It was in her sophomore year of high school. When she used to have the same physical education classes as Ben.  


She was late for class, and her uniform was all crooked. She ignored the students mocking her as she put her backpack hanging in the lockers. Soon after came Ben, also late. He had a loose tie hanging around his neck and his shirt was half open, showing part of his chest. When the students saw the two arriving late, all messy and badly dressed, they speculated what would be perhaps the worst rumour of her life.  


\- aha! - George Newton, one of the most ridiculous boys Rey had ever studied with, shouted for the whole class to hear - Ben and Rey were making out!  


Rey turned her head, terrified, with a confused look on her face. Ben was furious. He lunged at George, grabbing him by the shirt.  


\- Do you think I would, in a million years, touch that poor dirty scholarship girl? You take that back right now!  


Ben beat George for nearly three minutes before the teacher came and separated them. But Rey couldn't stay in the room. She ran away, to the cleaning cupboard, where she cried most of the afternoon. She punched the produce cupboards until her hands bled, with anger bubbling in her veins, imagining that all what she hit was Ben's face. She hated him, with every drop of blood she had."  


Rey looked away from Ben her heart raced. She no longer felt that bubbling anger from back then, but she still hated Ben. With every drop of his blood. He had dragged her down to the dust.  


\- Mom - Ben said, ignoring Rey's presence - I already told you those guys have no guarantees.  


\- Ben, my son, trust me - Leia said. She had that superior posture, like she was a shiny diamond. She drew attention to herself, she was a very beautiful woman, and Rey was impressed with her composure. She looked like a real lady. How could she have created such a hideous creature as Ben? - they are putting a wonderful offer in our hands. Rebuild an entire studio!  


\- Exactly - he said - that sort of thing could take two years. And it calls for a huge construction crew. And demolition. That old studio is useless!  


\- No one said it would be easy, or fast - she said - I'm not getting involved, one way or the other. The decision you make will decide the future of the company. Think carefully. - she turned to Rey- what do you think, Kenobi?  


\- what? - she said, looking at his mother, - um... I'm not sure of what you're talking about.  


\- You didn't tell her?- Leia turned to her son.  


\- She's my architect, not my business partner. I don't have to ask her opinion, Mom.  


\- Argh- Leia rolled her eyes-well, Rey...the Amidala Company has a huge project on their hands. Of rebuilding a movie studio bought by the Legendary Entertainment- she said- my son is undecided if the project is worthwhile enough to put all the resources into it. What do you think?  


Rey swallowed hard. It really was a big project. A whole studio redo for the Legendary Entertainment.  


\- Can I see the proposal plan ?- she said.  


-of course. Here- Leia walked over to Ben's desk.  


Rey approached the table carefully, feeling Ben's gaze on her, trying to ignore it completely. She looked at the plans. They were huge, and complicated. There was a whole protocol to making a studio like that. It had to be giant, and hold a lot of staff and actors and equipment and set and there was so much stuff and it would be such a long thing to do. But it was a great plan, with a great design, innovative, that allowed for so many more cinematic features. That plan was perfect, and incredible. Rey looked for the author's signature and was completely dumbfounded when she saw Ben's handwriting signed with his name. She looked up at him. He held her gaze steadily.  


\- It's a very good deal - she said - very good indeed. If you sign with Legendary t, the Amidala Company, with this project, could become one of the biggest companies in the country. I don't know what's keeping you one step back, Solo.  


Ben clenched his jaw. He lowered his eyes and took out a plant from underneath all the others. He placed it on top of the table and pointed to the end part of the studio area that was close to the end of the lot. There were scratches and poorly erased strokes where the last section of the studio should have been, which was in the downhill part of the lot, going down a slope.  


\- Legendary Entertainment made it specific that they wanted this last section. If you can find me a solution for this slope without pavement, because Legendary Entertainment doesn't want to mess with the structure of the land, I'll sign the contract.  


Rey stared at the plan. That was a real problem. Pavement would be the simplest answer. How were they going to make an entire section on a slope? It was impossible to shoot a film on a hillside.  


\- I can try to solve it - she said - I'll have a meeting with the other architects right now. I'll give you a solution in two weeks.  


Rey took the plan. When she raised her head, she saw Ben and Leia looking at her.  


\- What ?- she said.  


\- Two weeks?- Leia smiled - are you that good?  


Rey blushed.  


\- No. But I'm not going to let this jerk make the mistake of throwing a contract like that away.  


Rey left the room, and as she closed the door to her office she slapped her forehead.  


Had she really called Ben a jerk in front of his mother?  


Oh my God. Shame on her. He was going to shout with her all afternoon.  


Well, she didn't have time to think about that. She poked her head out of her room.  


\- Phasma-she called from the hallway.  


Phasma lifted her head from her desk.  


\- Yes?  


\- call the architects and the engineer. Tell them they have a meeting right now. And ask for copies of plan 17 for Solo.  


\- Yes, ma'am.  


Rey grabbed her things and went into the conference room. She tied the hair up, running out of patience to deal with it falling in her face. The architects hurried into the room and sat down.  


\- What happened, Miss Kenobi?- the engineer, Mr. Matthias, said, standing next to her at the desk.  


\- Mr. Solo has a opportunity that could leverage this company to be one of the best in the country - she said, going straight for the throat - but we have a problem. - She stretched the plan out on the table, as they leaned in to look at it - we have to figure out how to build an entire section without paving that slope. Legendary Entertainment doesn't want us messing with the structure of the land.  


\- Legendary Entertainment?- Regina said- an entire movie studio? Wow! This is the opportunity of the year!  


\- Exactly. Focus, Regina - she said - I'll send you copies of the plans. Our deadline is two weeks. I don't want you gossiping in the hallways. I want you working for your own blood on this project.  


\- And the other projects, ma'am?- Jones said 

\- don't delay. You are capable of doing everything at once. If we win this project, Amidala will be company of the year.  


Phasma came into the room with a bunch of paper rolls.  


\- the copies, Miss Kenobi.  


\- Thank you, Phasma - Rey took the copies and handed them to the architects - Matthias, you come with me.  


Rey left the room with Matthias. The rest of the day at the company became a living hell. Architects pacing back and forth, researching and creating, each new idea having a problem to correct.  


And that hell wasn't so bad for Rey. That hell was bearable. She loved to work. And working occupied her mind. It made her stop thinking about everything. When it was just her , a pencil and a plan, there was no more Ben, no more Hux, no more trauma. It was just her and her ideas.


	7. 7

Rey spent the three days in a row buried in work. She had missed that feeling. Of having time for almost nothing else. Rey hadn't called either Finn or Jannah in those three days. She had spent her afternoons researching and drawing.

If Jannah hadn't called that afternoon, she might have spent another day crammed into those papers. 

\- Hello?- Rey said. She was in her pajamas, sitting on her bed, with the studio plan and several sketches around her. It was already eight o'clock at night, but she wasn't tired. She was so close to finding the perfect solution. So close. 

\- YOU RETARDED!- Jannah shouted in her ear. 

\- oh, my God. What is it, creature? 

\- I texted you yesterday and today all day. Did you even checked your phone? 

\- No. I'm working on a very complicated project, Jannah. I don't have time right now. 

\- I'm at the airport, Rey!-she shouted- I told you I had an early flight and for you to come and get me. 

\- What?- Rey jumped out of bed- why didn't you call me? 

\- I called you six times. 

\- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm going right now. 

\- Do you have a car? 

\- No. But I'll take Finn's. Wait for me, I'll be right there. 

\- don't take long! 

Rey hung up and called Finn. 

\- Hi, Rey- he said \- 

\- I need your car. Now. 

\- Now? What happened? 

\- Now Finn!- she said - where do you live? 

\- Near the beach, in the third house down the street with the ice cream shop. 

\- I'm going to get it. 

Rey hung up and ran out, in her pajamas she didn't car. She found Finn's house and called for him. Finn appeared at the door with a very confused look on his face, followed by a short, oriental woman, very pretty by the way. 

\- Rey. What happened? Are you okay? 

\- My friend's at the airport - she said - I couldn't take her calls. I need to go pick her up. 

\- Oh my god, Rey- he laughed and opened the gates. He handed her the key- try not to knock, ok? 

\- I'm not a bad driver. Hi!- she gave a smile to the woman- you must be Rose? 

\- Yes, I am - Rose smiled back. 

\- You're beautiful- she gave her a polite hug- sorry for the rush, my friend is going to pull my hair out. 

Rose giggled. 

\- It's okay. Go on. 

Rey got into Finn's car, a tall, black pickup truck, and started it up. She pulled out in reverse and sped through the streets of Los Angeles towards the airport. 

When Rey arrived, she saw Jannah on the front doors of the airport, with her bags around her. She was wearing a long yellow jacket and a black dress. Her hair was tied up in a voluminous bun on top of her head. When she got down from the car, Jannah slapped her on the arm. 

\- I'm going to kill you, Rey!-she hugged her friend- I missed you so much, you ridiculous 

\- Me too honey- she said, and the two started to scream in excitement. 

\- You came in your pajamas, you crazy girl?- Jannah burst out laughing- own, I love you. 

\- Come on, it's cold. 

Rey and Jannah put her bags in the body of the truck and started back. 

\- Well? - Jannah said- what is this project that has been taking you away from human contact? 

\- It's a movie studio- Rey said, excitedly- for Legendary Entertainment, but that has a problem with a piece of land , but we can't mess with the structure of that land. We have to build a section on a hillside. 

\- Wow - Jannah said - complicated. But if you guys pull it off, it's going to pump up the company, isn't it? 

\- Exactly - Rey said 

\- And Ben?- she said - how's you two been getting along? 

\- Strictly professionally- Rey said - and we only talk if it's about work, which is better, after all, I don't know if I'd have control. I would step at his throat. 

\- You really would. Just like you wanted to do when you were in college. 

Jannah was interrupted by Rey's phone ringing. She picked up the phone and looked at the screen. There was an unknown number. She answered it. 

\- Hello?- she said, turning a corner. 

\- Miss Kenobi?- Ben's voice gave her a fright. She turned the wheel a little too far and almost hit a lamppost, but swerved at the last second. She stopped the car in the middle of the street, swallowing hard - Rey? Is everything alright, I heard the sound of a car there. 

Rey turned to Jannah. She stammered "it's Ben." Jannah widened her eyes and opened her mouth. 

\- Rey?- Ben repeated. There was concern in his voice, and that tone was etched in Rey's mind. He was not the type to worry about anyone other than himself. 

\- I'm fine- she said- it was just someone in the street. What do you want?- she said, looking at Jannah. 

\- I asked Phasma to let you know, but the company phone broke. So I took your number to tell you myself. - he cleared his throat - tomorrow night, the Legendary Entertainment agent in charge of negotiating with us has invited the company's board of directors to the premiere of their new movie. 

Rey made an impatient face of confusion. 

\- And what does that have to do with me?- she asked. 

\- you are on the board, Rey. You have to go tomorrow. 

\- what?- she widened her eyes - but...but I don't even have a car to go to. I don't even know where it is. Oh, my God! 

\- I'll send a car to your house, then. Be ready at six - he said - text me your address later. 

Rey didn't like the idea of him knowing where she lived, but she wasn't worrying about that at that moment. 

\- Okay. I'll text you later.- Rey hung up on him and flashed Jannah a huge smile - Legendary Entertainment has invited the company's board of directors to the premiere of their latest film!!! 

Jannah and her started screaming in the middle of the street like a pair of crazy women. They freaked out the whole way back to the city. 

\- Rey, what are you going to wear? You can't wear one of your dresses that you already have!- Jannah said, freaking out. 

\- I can't afford any. 

\- But I do. Stop , we'll buy you something to wear. I won't let you be any more embarrassed than you've been the last few days. 

\- Hey! 

\- Do it, Rey! 

Rey stopped at a shop, and Jannah practically dragged her inside. A very short and cute attendant came to attend to them. 

\- oh, what do we have here?- the woman said- why are you wearing pajamas, my flower? 

\- it's her fault. I was at home and she calls me saying she's at the airport. I ran out the way I was - she said, laughing. 

\- It's not my fault at all. You didn't see my messages. Now, miss - Jannah took the woman's hands - we need something amazing, because she's going to a Premiere tomorrow and she has nothing to wear. 

The woman, Jane, as her name tag said, raised her eyebrows. 

\- A premiere? Wow! Well, I think we have a few options to match. 

\- she wears m. - Jannah - you can bring them all. 

Jane went to get the dresses. Jannah and Rey went to the changing rooms. Jane left all the dresses on a rack. They were one more magnificent than the other. There were colourful ones, sparkly ones, short ones, long ones, voluminous ones, clingy ones. There was everything in there! 

\- Oh, my God. How am I going to choose one?- Rey said. 

\- let's think, honey. - Jannah said- you're not going to be on TV or anything. So you don't want to draw more attention than the actors. Pick something simple. 

\- she's kinda right- Jane said - I have these - she grabbed six dresses from the rack. Two of them were black, the others were coloured, but with simple, modest patterns. 

Rey tried them all on. She got out of the garment and gave them a tour to see, but Jannah was never satisfied. Until Rey tried on the last black one. It was shoulder length, With a moderate cut v-neckline, and a little wide at the waist , which Rey fixed by putting on a large light blue and yellow belt. The dress had a slit in the middle of the legs, which showed part of her knees and thighs. It had wide, fluffy sleeves. Rey looked at herself in the mirror and knew that was the one. If she put on her animal print glasses and colourful heels, and let her hair down, it would be perfect. 

Rey opened the curtains of the garment with a gesture of her hand. She gave a smile to the two girls. She paraded to the two, feeling on cloud nine. 

Jannah applauded. 

\- That's the one!- Rey said- Jane, we'll take this one and the belt. 

Rey took off the dress and put her pajamas back on. Jannah paid for the dress and they went home. Jannah was already planning Rey's makeup, but she was already almost closing her eyes from sleep. 

Rey returned Finn's car and they took the bags and dress to Rey's house. 

Rey left Jannah in the living room took her papers off the bed to lay down. 

\- Jannah. I only have one room. Either you sleep on the couch or you sleep with me- she said, already wrapped in the blanket. 

\- I'll sleep with you, right- Jannah said- do you think I'll break my back on this tiny couch? 

Rey rolled her eyes. She grabbed her phone and saved Ben's number. She made sure to put "Demon" as his contact name. She sent him her address. 

Three minutes later, he sent a message. 

" You don't need to come to work tomorrow. Drop this project a bit for a day , you've got your nose stuck in that plan everywhere you go. " 

Rey didn't know if it was creepy or weird or even sweet that he paid attention to how she wouldn't let go of the studio plan. She just let it go and went to sleep. 

And before she fell asleep, Rey had a bad feeling. And usually her feelings didn't go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I decided to change the CW for the Legendary Entertainment because I remembered that they don't make films and I needed it to be a premiere. And the next chapter will be very important!!! I'll put some decisive flashbacks about Rey's relationship with Hux, and answer some of the questions you guys have made!!!!


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> This chapter has sexual and violent scenes.

Rey felt Jannah's hands grab her ankles, waking her up. Jannah pulled her to the edge of the bed violently.

\- good morning, dear. wake up. 

Rey complained, trying to climb back up to her pillow. 

\- No. It's too early. 

\- You need to wash that filthy hair, get that hair out of your arm , and the rest of your body too, which I have no doubt is huge already. And get yourself cleaned up. 

\- I don't need to do that at seven in the morning, Jannah - she said. 

\- don't argue with me or I'll drag you out of bed! 

Rey got out of bed complaining and went to the kitchen. She had breakfast, and Jannah proceeded to push her in the shower with a bunch of products. 

\- Do not leave this bathroom until you are spotless- she said- it's not every day you get invited to a premiere. Especially with the fame you have. 

\- You suck, you know Jannah?- Rey joked. 

Rey took a leisurely shower, removing all the hair from her body and using Jannah's products, and in the end, when she came out after a super long shower ( which would make her electricity bill very expensive) , her skin was soft and shiny, and she felt very light. 

That day would be a long one. Jannah was going to do her toenails and fingernails , and fix Rey's overgrown eyebrows, and still get a lot done until she was ready at six. 

\- When was the last time you had those cuticles removed, creature?- Jannah said - how awful. You look like a caveman. 

\- I haven't had time to do my nails, Jannah. I am one hundred percent focused on the project. 

\- and it won't kill you to take an hour or two to get those cuticles off. It would be a favor to everyone. 

\- Okay, okay. I get that I'm too lazy to that. But tell me, what happened in London after I came here? 

Before Jannah could answer, a flash, out of nowhere, completely random, burned into Rey's head. The simmering sensation of that man's hand on her waist. She squirmed in her seat as Jannah pulled her cuticles away. 

\- ah, so. I broke up with that donkey a little later. And you had to see, his mother came to my house asking if he had cheated on me, and I had to explain to her that it was just because I couldn't stand him anymore. Imagine the shame. 

Rey gave a forced laugh. Jannah was so immersed in the story that she didn't even notice her friend's discomfort. 

Rey felt the feeling coming up as she tried to focus on Jannah's conversation, who kept talking about something that had happened in London, but she couldn't stop it from coming. 

She had those episodes ever since she had gone through the trauma. She would fall into a trance and go all dumb as her mind relived the traumas she had experienced. It was like sleep paralysis, but awake. 

Rey softened in her chair, leaning back, and Jannah didn't even notice. Rey kept her eyes on a spot on the wall behind Jannah and plunged back into that horrible night. 

" Rey had been employed by Hux agency after working at two smaller firms. She was the best architect there. She had innovative and amazing ideas that led the company, in her years working there, to become one of the best in England. She trusted her boss, Armitage Hux. He was a good person, from what she knew of him. She didn't know exactly when he started seeing her differently, whether the looks he gave her before were on purpose or coincidence, and she didn't know precisely until that night. 

Rey and Hix had just done an interview with Forbes magazine, after all, the Hux agency had legendary business and desgins like nothing seen before. Hux waited for the interviewer to leave before approaching Rey. 

\- Rey- he called out to her 

\- Yes?- she said, picking up her bag to leave 

\- Do you want to go for a drink or something?- he said - I think we should celebrate! 

Rey shrugged. She really was tired and could accept a drink or two. 

\- ok - she said -but not too much we have to work tomorrow. 

\- all right- Hux said with a smile. 

Hux took her to a fancy bar. They danced, and drank a lot of alcohol, more than she should have. Except that Hux wasn't drinking at all. He had had three glasses only, while Rey was already getting dizzy. 

When Rey didn't think she was going to take it anymore, Hux led her to the car, saying he was going to take her home. 

Rey remembered the smell of his car. It smelled like cigarettes and oak cologne. She had learned to hate that smell after what happened that night. 

Hux picked her up on his lap and carried her through the entrance to a flower garden. Rey was leaning on his shoulder, admiring the garden, so beautiful, full of colourful flowers. And she thought she had bees in her ears, because they were buzzing. 

Rey realised, with the sluggishness of alcohol, that that was not the entrance to her house. She didn't have a garden. 

Rey turned forward and saw an huge white house. It was beautiful, it even looked like one of the plants she had designed herself. And maybe it was, she couldn't remember. 

\- hey - Rey said, turning to Hux - that's not my house. 

Hux cracked a cold, mischievous smile. 

\- of course not, dear - he said. 

Rey couldn't think straight, nor could she react properly. Her body was sluggish, a little numb. Had someone put drugs in her drink? She didn't look like that when she gets drunk. 

Hux walked into the house and closed the door. Rey slapped him weakly on the shoulder. 

\- Put me down- she said- Hux! 

\- Easy, cutie. We're almost there. 

Rey closed her face slowly in a confused expression. It was as if she was living in slow motion. Her mind was slow to work, but she could feel the anxiety of panic as she began to figure out what was happening. 

Hux opened a door and Rey found herself inside a bedroom. She tried to move. Her body was heavy and aching. 

\- Okay, Hux. It's not funny. Let go of me. - She tried to get out of his arms, but he closed his hands tightly around her body. She whimpered in pain. - HUX LET GO OF ME! 

Instead, Hux leaned towards her and kissed her lips. She struggled in disgust. Her body still too slow to get rid of him. 

\- you won't hate it so much after you're in the middle - he whispered in her ear - you'll ask me for more. 

The tenebrous shiver that went up her body made her desperate. She was panicking. Her heart was racing and she was agonised that her mind and body were so slow to move. 

Hux laid her on the bed and took off his shirt. She didn't look at him, disgusted, and tried to get away from him, but he caught up her body over his legs. 

Rey began to cry immediately, from hatred, disgust and frustration. 

\- oh, don't cry, love- Hux reached down and lifted her blouse, kissing her belly- it's going to be the best night of your life. 

Rey shook her legs stuck between his. She tried to think how she was going to get out of there. Then she remembered what her grandfather had taught her. If she was ever drugged, she had to find a way to throw up. A lot. 

It wouldn't be hard. She was already disgusted by what was happening. Hux was pulling her skirt off and sucking on her thighs, leaving marks and saliva, and he was looking at her like that was pleasant ... 

Rey felt the first wave of nausea. She didn't fight it, instead she gave in to the disgust. Her stomach began to ache, and she became a little dizzy. 

Rey stuck her finger deep in her throat when Hux wasn't looking, and the vomit rose. Rey rolled to the edge of the bed, forcing her body away from Hux's. She leaned over and forced the vomit out. Her body was shaking with the waves. 

\- argh, really?- Hux said. - Well, it won't stop me from doing what I want. 

Hux climbed onto Rey's back. He reached for the back of her bra and unhooked it, which made Rey throw up some more. 

Rey stopped vomiting. Hux violently turned her forward and shoved a glass of water into her mouth, nearly drowning her. He made her wash her mouth and then kissed her, sticking his disgusting tongue deep down her throat as tears streamed down her face and she sobbed. 

Hux returned her body, sucking on her skin and leaving trails of saliva as she cried out. 

Slowly , the dye and slowness went away. Rey , during this time, was trapped, feeling Hux run all over her body with his mouth, including between her middle legs. Her body reacted, obviously, but with disgust. And when he stuck his face between her legs, she felt her body fill with horrible chills, as he made his tongue work,and she wanted to knock her knees on his ears until he passed out. She felt invaded, violated. It was the worst feeling she had ever felt, being forced to feel pleasure. Hux didn't seem to understand that it wasn't working. She just wanted to scream.Rey would never have imagined that his first time would be like this. And it wouldn't be. She wasn't going to let him do that to her.She had never had a boyfriend in her life, much less had sex with anyone. And there she was, her first time , and she was raped. What had she done to deserve this? 

Hux took off his trousers and was about to take off his underwear, when Rey's body was charged with panic. It was like an electric current coursing through her body. She woke up, her body responding to the adrenaline, her blood bubbling. 

Rey bent her knees and kicked Hux in the chest, throwing him across the room. She stood up and grabbed one of her heels. 

\- You miserable bitch! - Hux advanced on her with hatred. 

Rey hit Hux with her shoe, over and over again in the head until he fell unconscious. She put on her clothes so quickly that she ended up leaving her bra behind. 

Rey ran, ran as if Hux was chasing her, running from memory and sensations. She ran until she was lost in a dark London street. Then it began to rain. 

Rey let herself fall to the pavement. She stuffed her head between her hands and sobbed. She could still feel Hux's saliva on her body, and the pain in the marks his mouth had left, and the feeling of his body against hers. She shuddered. 

Was it her fault? Because she had been so naive? Why had she trusted drinking so close to him? Why it happened to her? Did she deserved that? 

Rey let out a scream against that dark night, a horrendous scream, which woke the neighbours. She returned to her house and went straight to the shower. She threw her clothes on the fireplace, and scrubbed her body with a hard brush, with such violence and disgust that her skin turned all red, and she opened some wounds with the teeth of the brush. 

And still it wasn't enough. The memory was burning in her head like an ember against her skin. Rey cried all night. 

The next day she didn't go to work. She spent the whole day with her head spinning, going over what he had done to her. But after that day, she had to go. 

When she saw Hux again, she wanted to run away, and stick a pencil in his eyes at the same time. He acted at first as if nothing had happened. But all that week, he abused her. He would run his hand down her legs in meetings, and clamp his hands between her legs when they were alone, which usually didn't last even three seconds. 

Every day, Rey would come home and rub her body with violence, hating herself, hating her body. She didn't know what to do. She had to get out of that place. She had to get away from there. 

On the last occasion, Hux took her by the arm into a room after a meeting when they were alone. Rey struggled against him, hitting and scratching, but he caught her against his body and tried to fuck her. 

Rey wouldn't let that happen ever again. She pushed him against the wall, what made him crack an abused smile. Rey raised her hand and ran her sharp nail down his face, and she felt the best feeling of all she could have felt with that guy: the skin tearing beneath her fingers , stretching and opening, and blood welling up, filling her nails. 

Hux screamed and threw her against the door. She looked up at him. He had three new scars running down from his forehead to his chin, bleeding non-stop. 

\- Are you crazy? - he shouted - you cretin! You're fired! 

Rey shoved her heel string between his legs, and he grunted in pain. She walked out of the room, grabbed her things and left the company. She never came back. And a week later, she got the letter that Hux was suing her for embezzling company money. 

Her account was blocked , and she decided to leave the country. She thought distance would heal her, but that wound was wide open, bleeding in spurts. She would never forget what he had done to her." 

\- Rey!- Jannah's voice snapped her out of that memory. She looked forward and saw Jannah, holding her by the shoulders, with a worried look on her face.- are you alright? 

Rey opened her mouth, breathing in with a trembling chest. She let go of her friend and stood up. Something tickled her face, and she noticed that she was crying. Rey ran her hands through her hair, inhaling the air. 

\- It was one of those traumatic paralyses again , wasn't it?- Jannah said. Rey nodded, running a hand over her face - oh, come here.- Jannah gave Rey a hug - don't let these things affect your day, honey. You're supposed to be joyful today! 

\- I know - Rey said - it's nothing, it'll be over soon. - She sniffled and turned away from her friend, sitting back in her chair - sorry, I didn't hear a word you said. 

\- ah, leave it- she said - it was nothing important, anyway. Are you hungry? Let's rise up that mood with some food, huh? 

Rey gave a sad smile. 

\- That's a good idea- she said, and Jannah went to get the phone to order the food. 

But all was not well. Rey had to fight not to remember Hux. She had to dig her nails into her hands, and repeat the one thing that calmed her at times like that. 

\- it's okay. It's okay. I'll get through this, and Hux will go to hell when he dies, to the fifth of hells, into Satan's throat. It'll be all right - she whispered. And after repeating it a few times, she began to feel better.


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to write, I had a very busy day. I hope you like it.  
> There's a Ben short pov in this chapter, and you can find more about him. But I won't give everything. I need to save some for later.

By the time of five forty, Rey was ready. Her hair was loose and wavy. She had put on, even though Jannah had been totally horrified, her coloured shoes, and was finishing her make-up when her phone rang.

Jannah picked up Rey's mobile phone. She looked at the screen and frowned. 

\- the demon is calling you - she giggled - who is it? 

Rey's eyes widened and she snatched the phone out of Jannah's hand. She looked at her friend and made a silent sign with her finger over her lips. 

\- hello?- she said - Solo? 

\- Kenobi - he said - it's almost six o'clock now. You are late. Get out of your house already. 

Rey frowned, not understanding what he was talking about. 

\- How can you know I'm still at home?- she said 

\- Because I'm in the car. And you're taking half an hour already. If I be late because of you... 

\- Why didn't you say that when the car came to pick me up, you would come along?- she said, as Jannah pulled away from her face, after finishing her make-up. 

\- Let's not do this today, okay Kenobi? 

Rey took a deep breath. She didn't think being stuck in a car alone with Ben for an hour would be a good idea. But there was nothing she could do, right? 

\- I'm coming - she said, hanging up. 

She turned to Jannah. 

\- he's in the car- she said, not very happy- I'll have to spend an hour until I get to the premiere. In a car. Alone with him. How am I not going to kill him? 

Jannah held Rey's shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. 

\- First, you don't have to exaggerate. You lived through high school with him, you survived. You survived every day going to work with him. And even though you've never really spent that much time alone in the same place as him, you won't freak out. You'll control yourself. Because you don't want to stress yourself out. just don't think. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. You're not a child anymore. You're not afraid of him. 

Rey nodded. 

\- That's right. It won't be so bad. 

\- Exactly - Jannha smiled - now go. 

Rey checked herself in the mirror and walked out. 

The car was parked in front of her house. The driver got out to open the door for her. She saw Ben sitting on the other side of the seat, looking in the opposite direction. He wore a suit similar to the one he wore every day to work, except that he wore a red tie, and there were red hems on the sleeves of the suit. She swallowed dryly and got in. She sat on the opposite end of the seat, and even though the car was big, his huge legs took up more space than she would have liked. And he still sat with his legs open, like an rude boy. She had to pin her thighs tightly against each other so as not to touch his knee. 

When he felt her weight, he turned away. She closed the door with a slam. She caught him looking at her, his lips slightly open. She held back a smile. She knew she looked spectacular. But at the same time she felt uncomfortable with him looking at her body. 

Before she could think, however , he looked away as quickly as he had looked, clenching his jaw. 

\- Good evening, Kenobi- he greeted her politely. 

\- Good evening, Solo- she said, and looked out the window. 

Ben was trying, with every part of himself, not to look at Rey's body. He stared at the window, for the first few minutes of the trip, but then he caught himself turning his head slightly, towards her, staring at her soft white legs, up the fillet of thighs that were visible through the gap in her dress. He controlled himself and turned to the window again. But from a period of the journey onwards, the silence became uncomfortable. There was a palpable tension in the air, both of them extra aware of each other's presence. Ben even corrected his posture, pulling his leg away from Rey to give her a little space. 

\- have you ever been to a premiere before?- he asked, breaking that deep silence. He was thankful the hatch between the driver and passenger seats were up, otherwise the driver would have seen the pathetic look on his face. He felt like a kid again, a fraid to talk to that intimidating girl. 

Rey said nothing. She ignored him and continued to stare out the window. 

He looked at her, trying not to look at her neck, full of spots and freckles, and her shoulders, so small and narrow, or at her cleavage, showing the inside of her breasts, covered by the freckles , which Ben assumed would ran down all over her body... 

Swallowing dryly, Ben stopped his thoughts. That wasn't right. He couldn't think of her like that. He had already made that mistake when he was a teenager, when he had a crush on her during high school. 

\- You're not talking to me now? - he said. 

Rey didn't answer, but he saw her, clench her jaw. He looked forward, wondering whether or not he should insist on talking to her. Maybe she would respond with ignorance, or she would get annoyed. And even if Ben thought she looked like a squirrel when she was irritated - with a red face, a manic look on her face, her cheeks inflated and her nails ready to attack - which he remembered from school, he didn't think that would be an appropriate time for that. 

\- No - Rey said, taking him by surprise. He turned to her. She turned her head and raised her eyes to him. Those hazel eyes that sometimes would turn green, sometimes would turn brown. - I've never been to a premiere. - she lowered her eyes quickly to his lips, so quickly that he wondered if he had imagined it - why? is there something I need to know? am I not dressed appropriately?- she looked down at her own body. 

Ben looked down at her body again, swallowing hard. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't wearing anything wrong. That she looked like a goddess in that dress. But he had to remind himself once again that she hated him. 

\- no - he said - there's nothing inappropriate about your outfit - he said, looking at her face. She looked up at him. - And as for what you need to know...don't get in the way of the actors and producers. We'll go straight to the cinema room. 

Rey looked away, turning forward. She ran her hands over her knees, and Ben recognized that gesture from years ago, of every time she got too nervous, she would run her hands over her knees, wiping the cold sweat from her hands. 

Ben turned to face forward. He didn't want to remember the past. It had been hard enough living it once, he didn't want to keep reliving it. 

Ben had had a crush on Rey through all high school, which was very controversial, since he made fun of her economic and family situation a lot. But that helped him, to protect himself. Everybody at school knew that they hated each other, that way nobody would ever suspect that he liked her. At least until the episode with George. That brat had ruined everything for him. He had to be extra cruel to Rey to get her to stop speculating a romance between the two of them. 

Even though he really wanted it to be true. He had done everything he could to get it out of his head. Rey would never accept that. She hated him. She was disgusted by him. She was unreachable to him. 

Ben was a jerk to her, and to many other kids back then. It was his refuge, his mask. Being cruel to others kept people from seeing who he really was, from seeing how sensitive and damaged he was, lonely without his parents, who had sent him to live alone on another continent, and that fact was a miserable and stupid thing about him. 

Ben had thought for a long time that his parents had done this to him because they couldn't stand him, that he was a weight. He had felt very rejected by the people he trusted most. And there was also the bullying he had suffered until he was fifteen, in the schools he had gone to in the United States and England, because of the size of his ears, which had always been his greatest insecurity. 

That was one more reason for him to grow his hair out and become a bullying maker. Because he wanted to protect himself. He was such an idiot back then. He regretted it so much. He wondered if he said all that to Rey , would she ever forgive him? Or would she think he was pathetic? 

Ben snapped out of his thoughts when the car braked out of nowhere. Ben and Rey were thrown against their seatbelts, falling back into their seats. The next moment, the car made a sharp right turn and Rey was thrown onto Ben. She leaned on his arm before being thrown back into place, her hair messed up. 

The car stopped. Rey faced the front seat, gasping in fright. She was still holding his arm tightly, and when she realised it, she let go of him immediately, turning red. 

\- What happened?- she said. 

\- Are you all right?- he asked. 

\- I am. - she climbed down the seat hatch to speak to the driver. - Hey, what happened? 

\- oh, I'm sorry - he said, gasping and shaking - there was a group of teenagers on the road. It's all right, I dodged them. I'm so sorry for the disturbance. It won't happen again. 

The driver climbed the hatch in shame and started driving again. 

Rey no longer looked at Ben. And neither did he look at her. His arm still ached from the hard squeeze she had given him, crushing his bicep like a pillow. He wasn't in pain. His arm was burning. Like her touch was an ember. Her small hands hadn't even been able to grasp his entire arm, and yet she was strong enough to do this to him. He wouldn't be surprised if he found her handprints later. 

He cracked a smile at the reflection in the car's window. He couldn't think of anything more appropriate, after all he'd done to her, for her to leave marks on him as well.


	10. 10

The driver finally arrived at the premiere. Ben got down from the car, went to her side of the car and opened the door for Rey. She looked at him and at his outstretched hand. She swallowed her pride and took his hand.

She got out of the car, and before she could even balance properly on her heels, Ben took her hand and propped it on his arm. She frowned at him , straightening her posture. He didn't look at her, and started walking, forcing her to keep up with his pace. 

Rey kept up with him, her hand holding his biceps, extra aware of how firm his arm was. She came closer to him as they passed through the crowd that was crammed around the carpet to see the actors, trying to dodge the people who were shouting non-stop. 

\- What are you doing?- she asked him, forcing a smile to rise across her lips as the photographers looked at them strangely, as if they were trying to recognize them from somewhere. 

\- What? - he said - would you rather come within three feet away from me? 

Yes! 

Rey wanted to step on his foot. Of course she would rather go in alone! 

She changed her mind immediately when they entered the place, and she saw the red carpet crowded. The beginning part wasn't so much, because that's where the celebrities took their photos, but the end, near the cinema entrance, was packed with VIP people who were going to watch the film, agents, photographers, interviewers, family members and fans. And the camera flashes, oh, she hadn't even gotten in and they were already blinding her. 

\- argh - she squeezed her eyes shut - how can they see? 

Ben let out a laugh. 

\- they're used to it. Here - he guided her over the side, out of camera range. - Don't look up - he said. 

Rey ducked her head as they passed and was got by surprise when Ben released her hand and slipped his arm around her waist. She straightened her spine, feeling his huge hand gripping her waist and leaving a trail of warmth all along where his arm was touching her back. 

They passed through the start, and once they entered the crowd, Rey took a large step forward, pulling her body away from Ben's hand. 

She saw Regina and the other architects further ahead. She walked straight up to them, stopping next to Phasma. 

\- Good evening - she greeted. 

\- Oh, Miss Kenobi - Phasma said, finally noticing her. - you came! I was talking about you with Regina just now. 

\- yes!- Regina said - she told me you were going to be late. - she approached Rey to speak more quietly - to be honest , I didn't understand why Mr. Solo wanted so much to pick you up himself, but anyway... 

Rey stared at Regina, as she continued talking to Phasma. She looked back and saw Ben talking to an agent she didn't know. He approached right after, with a smile from something he had overheard. 

It was a second. That the world stopped completely. She stared at his face. Rey had spent high school with that man, and she couldn't remember a single time she'd seen him smile. Ever. 

She stared at how his whole face was affected by his smile, filling with wide dimples and expression lines. She watched, holding her breath, as he frowned his nose , and in that moment, in a glimpse, she could have sworn there was no longer all the hurt and trauma he had caused, there was only the image of him smiling, and how she had to admit he was a very very handsome man. 

And just as quickly as it had come, that glimpse was gone. He bit his lip, swallowing his smile and turning serious again. Rey turned forward. 

What the hell was happening to her? 

Jannah's words about her having had a crush on him without even knowing it came back into her head. She felt a shiver of anger and revulsion rise through her body. She refused to even consider that idea. She hated Ben. There was no way she could have liked him. Ever. Even if the image of him biting his lower lip was burning into her eyelids and causing a heat to run through her body. 

Ben moved closer to her , and she had to try hard not to look at him. 

\- Mr Solo! Good evening - Phasma said. 

\- Good evening, Phasma- he said - you look stunning! 

Rey looked at Phasma. She hadn't even noticed. She was shocked. She had never seen Phasma in any clothes other than the suits she wore to work. But the outfit she was in made Rey's eyes widen and she was awestruck. 

She was wearing a red dress that had fluffy long sleeves, with a short skirt that reached to the middle of her thighs. She wore a pair of black tights. Her short blonde hair was loose and wavy and she was using a red lipstick that matched the dress. 

Rey could assume she was the hottest woman in that place. She looked up at Phasma. Phasma glared at her and giggled at Rey's shocked expression. 

\- oh, stop - she said, slapping Rey lightly on the shoulder, getting embarrassed. 

\- come on, guys!- Regina interrupted the moment, grabbing Phasma's hand - they cleared the room! 

Rey wiped her sweaty hands on her dress. She was nervous. She had no idea why. She couldn't walk. 

Rey felt Ben's arm wrap around her back. She clenched her abdomen in fright. She felt his hair tickle her skin as he moved closer to her ear. 

\- You're not just going to stand here, are you?- he pushed her gently, making her walk with him - people need to get through, Rey. 

Rey lost her breath. My God, what was happening to her? His deep voice whispering at the base of her ear made her anxiety worse. She held her stomach , trying to pull the air into her lung, but before she could do that, people started walking past them. 

There were too many people, all one behind the other, forming a wall of people into the cinema. 

Rey's anxiety joined with her instant claustrophobia. She couldn't breathe. She felt trapped like a rabbit in a cage. 

Ben must have noticed how fast she was pulling in air and the effort she was making to do it. He leaned towards her to look her in the face. 

\- Are you all right? - he asked. 

\- No - she said, her adrenaline rising. She needed to get out of there. Immediately. 

Ben took her hand and guided her away from the crowd. She couldn't feel her feet walking. She followed Ben to the part the corner most isolated from the rest of the people. 

He turned to her and looked into her eyes. She inhaled the air sharply, feeling her lung fill up. 

\- Breathe slowly, you'll end up hyperventilating - he said, holding her elbows. She propped her hands on his arms. Her mind wasn't thinking about how he was the last person she wanted to be having a panic attack with. She was trying to control the situation. 

Rey already knew the process. She had had many attacks before. She had had a long stressful day. With Hux's flashbacks, and having to spend an hour with Ben in the car, her anxiety was at its peak. And then suddenly... 

Hux. 

She must have been hallucinating. Her flashes were so strong that she could see him right there in front of her. That had never happened before... 

Rey realized that that wasn't a flash. Hux really was right there, on the other side of the carpet, laughing with a girl who looked half his age. 

Hux was right there, in the same premiere as her. How was that possible? Wasn't he supposed to be in England? WHAT WAS HE DOING IN AMERICA? 

\- Rey! - Ben held both sides of her face and turned his head towards her - calm down! 

It was then that she noticed she was gasping, on the verge of sobbing. She was on the verge of a much worse attack. 

Rey couldn't pay attention to what he said next. She turned her head, still with his hands on her face, and saw Hux again. 

Hux turned his head and saw her. His smile disappeared. He let go of the girl and started walking towards her. 

Panic screamed inside her. She turned to Ben. She had to do something to stop him from coming closer. She couldn't let him touch her again. 

She pushed past all the hurt and anger she had at Ben and threw herself on him, hugging him by the neck. He was frozen at first, but then he hugged her back. The disgust she had for Hux made the disgust she had for Ben seem almost friendly. 

\- What's this about, Rey?- he said. 

\- shhh- she said, looking over his shoulder, standing on tiptoe. Hux was still coming towards her, with a burning look on his face. - ah, my god- she said, her voice trembling- get me out of here now- she whispered, her voice choked with the tears of terror burning in her eyes- please. 

Ben pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. 

\- Why? 

\- please - she said, giving a smile as she saw that some photographers were paying attention to them. - now, Ben! 

Ben looked away. When he saw Hux, he understood everything. He took Rey by the arm and started walking fast towards the cinema. 

\- That's Armitage Hux?- he whispered to her. 

Rey walked past a photographer with a smile , pretending he had said something lovely, and nodded. 

Rey felt Ben's hand pass around her waist as they sidestepped Hux's direction, leaving him behind, looking at them. And for the first time that day, that feeling was welcome. 

When they were inside, Ben looked for an empty corridor , where they hid. He let go of her and she leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor, running her hands through her hair as tears erupted from her eyes. Her hands were shaking, fear burning in her chest, hurting. 

Ben sat down next to her. He remained silent. Rey cried till there was no more tears, until she stopped shaking and her nerves were calmer. She didn't hurry, the session wouldn't start for another forty minutes. 

\- Are you all right? - Ben asked. 

Rey raised her head at him. She bet it was all smudged . Ben, in reflex, ran his hand over her face, collecting her tears. He had a warm look on his face, seeing that she was searching for the words to speak. 

\- You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to - he said 

Rey looked down. She didn't want to talk about it with him, even if in that previous second, he was just a boy with an open chest, wiping away the tears of a traumatised girl. And she realised, how incredible it was, that she no longer felt that flame of hatred and disgust growing against Ben. Maybe it was because he had protected her, when he could have abandoned her in the crowd alone, or humiliated her in public. 

He had been generous. 

\- Let's go inside - she said, getting up. There was no use running from the inevitable. She just hoped Hux wasn't sitting near her seat. That was all. 

\- Wait - Ben said, getting up and approaching her. 

He ran his fingers under her eyes, looking concentratingly at her face, wiping away the smudged make-up. 

Rey looked into his eyes, affected by his closeness, and how his presence was no longer as dangerous and unpleasant as it had been before. He had beautiful brown eyes, she noticed. She knew those eyes by far, but she never had saw them up close. He looked like a simple man. 

But she still hadn't forgotten who he was, that she should be cautious. She was not going to let herself be fooled by that false Ben he pretended to be. 

\- now you're ready - he said, turning away from her. - let's go. 

He went in the front. She went behind. They walked to the cinema room and entered behind two other late couples. Ben and Rey's seats were next to each other, so she followed him until she found her seat. 

And it was only after she sat down and turned back , to look for Phasma and Regina, that she realized Hux was sitting in the seat exactly behind hers.


	11. 11

Hux slid a mischievous smile across his lips. Rey turned forward, her heart racing. She wasn't going to panic again. She took a controlled breath and looked down.

Regina, Phasma and the other architects and the engineer were seating in line in front of them, talking non-stop, excited. 

The actors and producers entered the room and were greeted with applause. They gave a speech, but Rey's ears couldn't hear anything. She was sitting rigid in her seat, as if waiting for a bomb to explode in her lap. 

The movie started soon afterwards. Rey tried to pay attention, to relax, to forget that Hux was right behind her. 

But Hux was Hux. He wouldn't let her forget him. 

She jumped in a fright when she felt Hux's fingers touch the back of her head and his knees press against her chair. She froze, gripping the arms of the seat tightly. She felt the steam of his breath in her hair. 

Rey squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if that would be enough to make him disappear. 

She took a gasp when Ben's hand caught hers on the seat. She opened her eyes and looked at him, and Hux was startled back into his seat. 

Ben cracked a smile at her and laced his fingers between hers. And she realized what he was doing. 

Hux knew who Ben was. After all, he was the heir to the Amidala Company, which was the largest architectural firm in California. He was enough to intimidate Hux away from her. Ben was pretending they had a relationship. Maybe that would keep Hux away from her until the end of the movie. 

Rey turned forward, feeling Ben's huge hand wrap around hers , making her disappear under his. 

The rest of the movie went by so slowly that Rey kept checking the time every hour. And almost at the end of the movie, Ben pulled her around the waist and leaned into her ear. 

\- Your phone is ringing - he whispered. 

Rey cringed with the shiver that the steam of his breath sent through her body and reached for her phone. She didn't answer Jannah's calls, but she did send a message to her. 

" What do you want?" 

Rey noticed, with some curiosity , that Ben's hand was still on her waist. He wasn't even paying attention, he was watching the movie, not seeming to notice that he was drumming his fingers on her waist. 

"I won't be home, and I took your key. I don't know what time I'll be back, I have to go meet a Doctor Lizzent, it's a complicated thing, I'll explain later." 

"How am I going to get into the house, Jannah? I only have this key!" 

"Stay at that Finn's house, come on. I gotta go." 

Rey put her phone away and crossed her legs, nervous. Where was she going to stay? She couldn't go to Finn's house. He was moving. And it was not very polite. 

When the movie was finally over, and everyone applauded, Rey stood up, walked past Ben and left the cinema room as quickly as possible. She ran past the carpet, feeling the camera flashes blinding her. 

Why were those photographers taking pictures of her? She wasn't a celebrity. Just a scandalous architect. 

Rey took a taxi. She needed to cool off. She was desperate for something to drink. To forget that night. 

She ended up getting off at a random point in the city and wandered the streets. She replayed the night with Hux so many times that her head began to spin. She felt so much on her skin that she wanted to rip it off : Hux's touch, Ben's touch, the dots of the camera flashes in her vision. It was too much for one day. She had to go home and sleep. 

But when Rey passed in front of a crowded bar, with loud music and girls dancing on the dance floor, she had to stop. 

She stared at those people, dancing and laughing. There was nothing else there, just that feeling of joy. She bet those girls had forgotten their traumas, their pain, and all that was left was the music in their ears. 

She didn't even try to resist. Rey walked in and ordered a drink. She sat between two men at the counter and turned to look out onto the street. The night was starry, but Rey had no head to admire it. She wanted to be dizzy, numb, blacked out. She wanted her memory to disappear, and she knew the quickest way to it. 

Rey drank and drank and drank, desperate for the memory of that night to disappear into a confused haze. She violently turned, one after the other, four glasses of vodka. The men beside her raised their eyebrows. 

\- Are you all right, miss?- one of them asked. 

She stared at him. 

\- What do you think? - she said, and kept pouring more and more glasses. She shuddered at the burning sting of the drink. 

When all that alcohol started to kick in, she felt the world spin and all her bad mood disappeared. She tilted her head back, feeling the chilly night air chill her skin. Bit by bit her recent memories slipped into oblivion. 

And finally there was nothing else. There was only the music, and the cold night. And a feeling of satisfaction and silliness. 

Rey put another glass to her mouth. She had lost count of how many she had drunk. And the drink didn't even taste like nothing anymore. But she wanted to keep swallowing something. 

She placed the empty glass on the table and her phone rang in her pocket. 

\- shhhhhhhh - she said into her phone, picking it out of her pocket. She looked at the screen and saw " demon" written on the screen. She giggled - ah , Satan already wants to talk to me?- she answered, looking at the man next to her with a humorous smile as he laughed at her - hi Satan, what do you want? 

The silence that followed was iconic. She could imagine his face : frown frowning, confused. 

\- Where are you, Rey?- he said. 

\- None of your business - she said, frowning and looking straight ahead. 

\- Rey!- he said, his voice getting deeper and angrier - where are you ? 

She grimaced. 

\- ouch, you arrogant. - she looked back at the man - sir, what is this place?- she laughed. 

\- Billy Darner Bar - he said 

\- did you hear? - she said - Bibly Draner Bra 

The man fell into laughter at her side. She looked up at him with a satisfied smile. 

\- Are you drunk? - Ben asked 

\- give me here - the guy said, and Rey handed him the phone - she's at Billy Darner Bar. 

She took the phone back from him and stood up, going to lean on the potbellied man's shoulder. 

\- Who's that?- Ben asked 

\- It's my new friend, satan- she said - say hi to satan, buddy- she said, pointing the phone at the guy. 

\- I'll look after her until you get here, satan- he said, laughing. 

Rey laughed. 

\- don't go anywhere, Rey!- Ben said, and hung up. 

Rey looked at the man. 

\- Apparently the devil is going to pay us a visit - she said - wow! Such a big belly! How do you keep in shape? 

\- I eat too much - he said - are you hungry? 

\- No - she said, turning away from him - I'm gonna dance. 

Rey hopped onto the dance floor and started dancing awkwardly off the beat of the music. She closed her eyes and bumped into a few people, but kept dancing. 

Rey danced until she got tired. And just as she was returning to her seat, near the potbellied man, a hand grabbed her arm. She looked at the hand, frowning, and slowly raised her head. She took a step back when she saw Hux's face. 

\- I guess it's time for you to go home, huh? 

Rey shook her arm , trying to get free of him. 

\- Let go of me! How did you find me here? 

Hux pulled her up and grabbed her around the waist, forcing her to walk. 

\- I thought you already knew that when I really want to find someone, I find them. After all, I came to find you here in Los Angeles. 

What was he talking about? Had he gone after her? 

\- satan!- the pot-bellied man approached them - I took very good care of her. She was just dancing. 

Hux stroked her arm. Rey felt disgust rise through her body. She had already lived through that episode. She didn't want to live it again. 

\- no!- she screamed and grabbed the man's arm - that's not satan! This one is worse. Don't let him take me, please!- the man frowned and took a step, grabbing her arm to get her out of Hux's arms. 

That's when a car stopped and braked at the door of the bar and Ben got out of it. Rey cracked a huge smile. She had never been so happy to see him in her life. 

\- Satan!- she said. 

Ben had a cold look on his face. He walked straight up to them. The man pulled Rey away. Ben punched Hux in the face, throwing him backwards. 

Rey turned to the lad. 

\- Thank you very much, buddy- she said. 

Ben walked over to her and took her arm. The man stopped Ben for a moment, looking at him. 

\- What are you going to do with her? 

\- take her home. 

\- It's all right, buddy - Rey said, with an easy smile - he's satan, but he's not bad. Thank you very much. I really liked you. 

Rey turned and followed Ben into the car, leaving an angry and bleeding Hux behind. 

Ben was quiet in the car. Rey looked at him. He was focused and angry. And that was so funny. He had no reason to be worried about her, and yet he had driven like a madman to get her. Rey couldn't help but laugh. 

Ben looked at her, horrified. 

\- What are you laughing at, Kenobi? Do you think it's funny? 

\- I'm sorry - she said, leaning in laughing - you're so pathetic. You came running in just like Mario Cart , vroom vroom - she said, making a steering wheel gesture with her arms, laughing even harder - and that punch - she said, pushing his arm away - was EVERYTHING. You looked like a boxer, pow pow - she said, punching the air. 

\- did you know what Hux was going to do to you?- he said, driving fast , turning the streets violently, throwing Rey from side to side. 

Rey stopped laughing as the urge to vomit came. She looked around for something, anything, and ended up grabbing his work suitcase. She threw all the papers on the back seat and vomited into the suitcase. Her body shook with the waves of nausea, the disgusting, bitter taste filling her mouth. 

She closed the suitcase and wiped her mouth. 

\- I'm sorry - she said to him. 

Ben stopped the car. 

\- it's all right - he said - let's go. 

Ben got out of the car. Rey got out too, staggering, the suitcase in her hands. 

She looked ahead and saw a huge mansion. It stood in front of the beach and was beautiful, all painted blue and white like a French chateau. 

\- Is this your house? - she said. 

\- It is - Ben said, taking Rey by the hand and helping her walk. 

He led her inside, and his garden reminded her of Hux's garden. She relinquished the memory immediately. She didn't need that at that time. 

Ben took the suitcase from Rey's hands and put it in a corner. He led her into the bathroom and let her rinse her mouth out. He then placed her sitting on his couch and went to get her something to eat. 

Ben returned with some sweets and coffee and sat down next to her, quietly. 

Rey had no control of her mouth as she heard the words slide out, regretting them the moment she said them. 

\- he was going to rape me. 

\- What?-Ben turned to her. 

Well, she had already said it, so it was too late. 

\- you asked if I knew what Hux was going to do to me- she said, leaning back against the couch. - He was going to rape me. 

Ben frowned, looking at her. 

\- Why do you think he would do that?- he asked. 

\- Because he's done it before - she said, popping a piece of sweet into her mouth. She was thankful she was drunk. Saying those words while sober would have been impossible, but dizzy the way she was, they sounded easy and empty.- that's why he fired me. He tried to rape me and I made him pass out by hitting my shoe on him - she laughed - it was horrible and traumatizing, I don't know why I'm laughing. 

Ben was looking at her with a horrified look on his face. 

\- Why didn't you tell anyone? - he asked. 

\- I did. To you. To Jannah. To my ex-Psychiatrist ... 

\- No. - he said - why didn't you tell a lawyer? Why didn't you denounced him? 

Rey rolled his eyes. 

\- Because he blocked my account and I'm poor poor poor - she said, laughing - or do you think I agreed to work with you because I wanted to? I really had no choice. Or I wouldn't have chosen to work for the guy who made my life hell while I was going through the worst phase of my life. - she said, getting angry - Did you know I had to put up with you teasing me while I went through the mourning of the only person who ever loved me in my life?- she laughed, throwing a sweet at him - I had to cry hiding from you saying I was an orphan while I mourned my grandfather and had to move in with my other grandfather who was the devil incarnate and made me a maid and a punching bag every day - she said, getting suddenly violent and furious - and I had to cover my bruises so you wouldn't make fun that I was being beaten by a man or make up another dirty story about me- she hit him - do you have any idea what you did to me? - she started hitting him non-stop, knocking the sweets tray to the floor - you made me depressed and hate my life every day all through high school and now you act like it was nothing. Do you have any idea how cruel what you did to me is, Ben Solo? - she shouted. 

Ben held her wrists, stopping her from hitting him. And Rey started crying. He stared at her. His heart was pounding hard. He had no idea what she had been through. That only made what he did to her even worse. 

He was so ashamed and so regretted. He hated himself. How had he done that to a girl like Rey? He had liked her. He had driven after her because he didn't want her to be abused, but she already had been, she had suffered horrible things, and many of them because of him. 

Rey didn't deserve all that. She was the purest, kindest, hardest working person he had ever known. It just wasn't fair. 

\- I'm sorry - he said. Rey looked up at him, her nose and cheeks red and wet with tears. 

\- What? - she said, sobbing. 

\- I'm sorry for what I did to you in high school. - he said - I can't justify what I did. But I know I was a jerk and I destroyed your life. And I want you to forgive me. 

Rey stared at him, sniffling. She wiped her face and gave him a smile. A sweet smile that made her dimples appear and her eyes disappear. And just then, she started to laugh and Ben noticed that it didn't matter what he said to her that night. She was drunk. She wouldn't remember a thing. 

\- You -she choked with laughter - are you apologizing? To me?- she slapped one hand against the other - I never thought I'd live long enough to hear you say that. - she got up - But no, I don't forgive you -she turned to him, serious - I have a trauma from you, Solo. I'll only be cured with a miracle or therapy. 

Rey tried to walk, but she was too dizzy for that. She went bumping and tripping over everything in her path. 

\- Where are you going? 

\- Home, of course. 

\- the way you are? No - Ben stood up - I'll drive you. 

\- Oh, yeah. No way- she said, turning and slamming herself into his chest. She frowned and pushed him back - personal space, excuse me. - she grimaced-Jannah took my key. There's no way I can get into the house. I think I'll go to Finn's, if he's still living in the same place.... 

Rey turned towards the door. Ben made a confused face. -

\- Who is Jannah and who is Finn?- he asked himself. - Hey, no! - he walked over to Rey and bent down, taking her by the waist and throwing her over his shoulder. - If you have nowhere else to go, you're staying here. You're crazy, Rey. You will sleep in the middle of the street if I leave you alone. 

\- Let go of me, Solo!- she shouted, as he carried her up the stairs. 

\- Rey, stop being stubborn - he said, trying to control her legs as she kicked his chest - you're going to fall down the stairs, stop it! - he grabbed her legs tightly and walked up to the second floor to one of the guest rooms. He set her down on the floor in the doorway - you sleep here. Don't try to escape, or I will lock you in there. And take a bath. You have vodka on your dress. 

\- And what am I going to wear?- she said, -your clothes? 

\- There's nothing else for you to wear. I live alone. 

Rey crossed her arms and walked into the bedroom. Ben gave her a towel and a pair of his pajamas, the smallest he had, since he was much bigger than she was. He then left her alone and went to take his own shower.


	12. 12

Rey woke up , and with her eyes still closed, she heard the sound of the sea waves breaking on the sand. She stretched out on the soft bed, pushing the pillows with her arms and stretching her legs on the warm blankets.

Rey opened her eyes and blinked up at the ceiling. It was white and ordinary , and even looked like the one in her bedroom. But she didn't have a chandelier. She had a round lamp on the ceiling. 

Rey frowned and sat up. She looked around. She wasn't in her room. She was in a large bedroom, with a double bed, a white wardrobe across the room, and a bathroom next to the bed. She pulled the blankets off her legs, to find that she was wearing nothing – absolutely nothing – other than a pair of baggy shorts that were too big for her and a giant t-shirt that looked more like a dress on her. 

She looked out the window and saw the beach, but a different side than the one she usually went. 

Where was she? 

She tried to remember, pulling up everything she could from the night before. 

She had gone to the premiere with Ben. And Hux was there too. And she had gone to a bar and gotten drunk. She barely remembered anything. She remembered Ben punching Hux in the face, and the potbellied man, and someone carrying her up stairs, but she couldn't remember who. 

Had Hux managed to get her somewhere? Had he managed to rape her this time? Rey really hoped not. 

Rey went to the bedroom door and opened a gap. Just in time to see Ben come out of the room further ahead, wearing a t-shirt and grey trousers. 

She closed the door and leaned her back against it. What was Ben doing there? Could that be his house? Why couldn't she remember anything? 

And like a snap, some parts of the night before began to come back. 

The conversation with the man in the bar, the scene in the car, the conversation with Ben in the living room. 

Rey slid to the floor, her head between her hands. She couldn't remember everything. She couldn't remember how she had arrived at the bar, or how she had entered Ben's house or gone into the living room. She couldn't remember how she had gone to sleep in the clothes that were probably Ben's. 

But she did remember telling him about Hux. And about high school. And she remembered him apologizing. 

Rey stood stagnant, looking around the room, not knowing what to do. Shame filled her face, making it hot. How was she going to get out of there? She wasn't even wearing underwear. 

Rey stood up and grabbed her dress , which was next to a chair with her underwear and the shorts she wore underneath her dress . All her clothes smelled of alcohol. A lot of alcohol. How much booze did she had the day before? 

Rey decided to change the loose shorts she was wearing to the ones she was wearing underneath the dress the day before. They were short, and disappeared under the t-shirt line. And it was very uncomfortable to wear shorts without panties. But she would survive. 

Rey grabbed her things, hung her shoes on her fingers, and opened the door in total silence. 

She looked around and , when she saw that there was no one in the hallway, she tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs. 

She couldn't remember which way was the entrance of the house. She walked down to the living room and headed to the right, but returned when she was almost seen by Ben in the kitchen. 

Rey tiptoed across the room, slowly, without making a sound. 

\- Rey. 

Rey jumped in fright, knocking her things to the floor. She turned and looked at Ben, standing in the doorway of the room, with a tea towel slung over his shoulder and his hair all messed up. 

\- Hi Ben. - she said. 

She bent down and gathered her things again. 

\- What are you doing? 

\- I'm leaving - she said, hurrying towards the entrance hall, which was right in front of her. 

\- In these clothes?- he said - let me take you, Rey. 

Rey stopped in place and closed her eyes. She remembered how miserable he had sounded when he had apologized to her the night before. She opened her eyes and turned to him. 

\- When? 

\- After you've had your breakfast. Unless you want to go hungry.-he turned and walked into the kitchen again. 

Rey exhaled the air. She hadn't even realized she was holding it. She left her things on top of one of the couches and walked towards the kitchen. 

It was so strange how she hadn't even hesitated to follow him. In how she hadn't considered that she was on her way to have breakfast with Ben Solo, without any underwear, wearing what were possibly his clothes. She hadn't realised that until she was sitting at the table. 

She immediately crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide what she could. She felt uncomfortable , hiding her legs under the table, trying to make her blouse get bigger and cover her knees. 

Ben wasn't even looking at her. He was making coffee, his back to her, as he prepared the food. Rey wondered who had taught him how to make food. When she remembered. 

He had lived alone since he was thirteen. He had to have learned on his own. 

Ben put some bread on the table, and coffee, and some other things he had in the fridge. 

He sat down in front of her and began to serve himself. Rey was afraid to move her arms , as the blouse, even baggy, showed part of the shape of her breasts. She didn't want him looking at her. 

And he wasn't looking. He didn't even give her a glance. He was focused on passing jam on his bread and pouring his black coffee. 

Rey stretched out her arms and picked up a loaf of bread. She picked up a cup and poured herself coffee. She didn't look at Ben until she was already eating. 

And when she did, she had to hold her gasp. She didn't had notice, until that moment, how large , exposed and big his chest was, wearing that flannel shirt. Since high school, he had grown stronger, the muscles in his arms barely fit in his sleeves. She immediately felt ashamed. He had respected her, and she was almost devouring him with her eyes. 

By the way, that was pretty disgusting.Why did she keep paying attention to those things and was she intimidated by his size? 

She preferred the silence that existed between the two of them there. It spared her from awkward moments. But she couldn't just forget what had happened, at least what she remembered of what had happened, the night before. 

\- What happened yesterday?- she asked. 

Ben lowered his bread, giving a deep sigh, as if he had been expecting that question. He raised his eyes to her face. His look told her it had been awkward. She was regretting asking that question. 

\- Do you remember anything?- he asked 

\- Not much - she lied. She remembered quite a lot. But she had no idea if it was everything. 

Ben told her, part by part, how he'd gone after her at the bar, and Hux was grabbing her, and about the way to his house ( which made Rey turn red with embarrassment. She really didn't remember throwing up in his suitcase ), what she'd told him, what he'd told her, about him carrying her up the stairs and making her take a shower. 

By the time he finished telling, Rey was red as a tomato. She stuck her head between her hands, embarrassed. 

How had she done all that? She had told him about Hux. SHE HAD TOLD BEN ABOUT HER GREATEST TRAUMA AND THE MOST PERSONAL AND DEEP THING SHE HAD. She certainly blamed it on the drink. If she had been sober, she would NEVER have told him all that. 

\- Rey -Ben said -I know you were drunk last night, and you must be regretting telling me everything you said, but I'm not going to tell anyone. It's a part of your life that doesn't concern anyone else...- he paused - but I've decided that I can't stand by and watch you go through this without doing anything, and so I'm going to get you a lawyer - Rey raised her head, with an unprepared expression on her face. 

\- What?- she said -No! I don't need you to defend me. I can defend myself! 

\- You don't know any good lawyers here, do you?- he said, shushing her. She really didn't know anyone in America. - I'll talk to a lawyer I know. 

\- I can't afford one, Solo. And I doubt that the salary you give me is enough to pay these refined lawyers... 

\- ...and I'll pay for you - he said, ignoring what she was saying. Rey leaned back in her chair, looking up at him. 

\- Why?- she said - What for? So you can feel better about what you did to me? Or for you to pass yourself off as the good guy who helped the wronged architect out of the mud? 

\- Because it's not fair - he said, leaning over the table. The expression he made , his eyes looking straight at hers, the seriousness and sincerity that went through the space between them like a freezing arrow , took the air out of Rey. - You're a good person, and you've suffered enough, and part of that is my fault. And it's not fair what I did to you. It's not fair what Hux did to you. I can't just sit back and watch your life fall apart when I can do something about it. 

Rey leaned across the table , looking as intense as he did. 

\- I don't want you to get into this. 

\- Too late, don't you think?- he said- You told me, and now there's no way to take it back. I'm already in the middle of it. 

\- I'm serious, Solo. This is none of your business. I want you out of it. 

\- For what? So you can panic every time you see Hux? You need help, Rey. I know, with everything you've been through, you don't like to ask for help, but you can't deny that you need it now. Accept it at least this once. 

\- There's no way you could know that- she said, offended. 

\- Of course there is. 

\- How? 

\- Because we are the same, Rey. I was just as lonely as you were. I had no one to count on but myself. I'm not good at accepting or asking for help, or letting people see who I am beneath that mask I've built, and neither are you. 

Rey leaned back, affected by the truth in his words. She hadn't realised, with all the irony in that fact, how similar the two of them were. Neither of them had anyone to rely on but themselves. 

\- I don't care what excuses you make- Ben said, going back to eating his bread -I'm in this and I'm not leaving. And if you want, you can fight me every day about it, I don't care. 

Rey was really touched. Ben had really changed. In not a million years, she had imagined he would help her with absolutely nothing. And there he was, once again being " kind" to her. 

Well, she was going to give him that chance. With all caution, of course. She wasn't going to trust him with everything. She would give him a chance to prove himself. And then she would decide what to do next. 

Rey's phone rang in the living room. She got up and walked over to it. 

\- Hello?- she said 

\- REY!- Jannah shouted in her ear. 

\- You really need to stop shouting into the phone , Jannah - Rey said. 

\- I STAY OUT ONE NIGHT AND YOU GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 

\- First of all. Stop shouting. And what are you talking about, creature?- she said, confused. 

\- Haven't you seen the news? Where are you? 

Rey looked back, but Ben was still focused on his breakfast. She approached the door and spoke quietly. 

\- don't judge me. I don't know how this happened, but I'm at Ben's house. 

\- What?- she said- don't tell me you slept with him. Rey, what's wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? 

\- What? No- she shuddered - argh, I didn't sleep with him. It's a long story. I'll tell you when I get home, okay? What did you see? 

\- I'll send it to you. And come back soon because we have a long talk to have, huh! 

-ok. Bye. 

Rey hung up and Jannah sent her a bunch of website links. Rey opened the first one and stared, chocked. There was a picture of her and Ben, cuddled on the red carpet, with a huge headline that read " AMIDALA COMPANY DIRECTOR, BEN SOLO AND THE BRITISH ARCHITECT REY KENOBI ARE CAUGHT IN CARESSES ON LEGENDARY ENTERTAINMENT'S RED TAPE. 

Rey started reading the story, chocked. 

" This past night, during the Premiere of Legendary Entertainment's newest film in Los Angeles, the head of real estate and architecture firm Amidala Company, Ben Organa Solo, was captured in the middle of the red carpet affectionately hugging the British architect Rey Kenobi, recently linked to the scandals at the British Hux agency, whose director , Armitage Hux was also present at the premiere. Rumours of a possible relationship between Solo and Kenobi have been raised, and also the rumour that this may be the reason Kenobi was employed as chief architect at Solo's company, Amidala Company. The two mysteriously disappeared after the premiere. I wonder what these lovebirds are up to?" 

Rey opened up the other websites. They all had different theories for the scandal they had caused at the premiere. They were drawing more attention than the celebrities themselves. 

Rey was outraged. How did she have this gift? Of making a scandal wherever she went? And where the hell came out that story about a relationship between the both of them? 

Although the photos that were taken really gave the impression that there was something between them. Rey never felt so offended and embarrassed. 

Rey walked to the kitchen, mobile phone in hand. She stared at Ben, trying to control all the mixed feelings of anger, indignation and shame that were going on inside her. 

\- Did you know about this?- she asked 

\- What?- he said, raising his head. 

\- this- she walked over to him and pointed her phone for him to see. He looked at it, clenched his eyes and turned to his food. 

\- Yeah, I saw it this morning- he said. 

Rey was dumbfounded. 

\- And you're not going to do anything? 

\- What do you want me to do?- he said, turning to her. - Make an interview and deny it? 

\- Of course!- she said. 

Ben ran a hand through his hair, tucking it behind his ear. 

\- Have you stopped to think- he said, choosing his words so she wouldn't freak out - that maybe this is a good thing? 

\- Good ?- she laughed, indignant. She turned away from him and sat down in front of him - how can it be good to be related to you on the internet? 

\- you'd rather be related to Hux?- he said - because that might happen. He went after you yesterday. What's assuring you that he won't come after you later? Let's say I set up the interview and deny it, with some lame excuse to not expose you, that the media probably won't believe. And the next day Hux goes after you, you get photographed with him and the media spreads the rumour that you're a slut who keeps begging after rich men? 

\- What?- Rey took the plate, ready to throw it at his head. 

\- Hey. I didn't say that's what you were. But the internet is rotten. They'll make up worse things about you. 

\- and you think pretending I'm your girlfriend is a better idea? I already have a reputation as a slut thanks to Hux. I don't want them to think it's true, which will happen if I agree to stoop to this bullshit. 

\- I know - he said - it's the most terrible idea there is. I don't like it either. But you'd rather have Hux with an open door to keep harassing you? At least this rumor will stop him. 

\- You don't know Hux - she said - you don't know what he's like. He won't stop even if I pretend to be a nun. 

\- I won't let him do anything to you - he said - but do you have any better ideas to keep him away from you? 

Rey crossed her arms. She knew Hux had no limits. He spared no resources to get what he wanted. He'd gone all the way to Los Angeles after her. What else did he know about her? Where she lived? Where she bought her clothes? She didn't doubt it. She was totally trapped. Either she would accept Ben's protection, and bear all the weight that would come with it, or she'd be exposed for Hux to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. 

\- I'm not making that choice now - she said, getting up. - you're going to take me home. And I'll answer you when I want. 

\- Okay - he said. - do you want to go now? 

\- Yes. Now. 

Ben stood up. He went upstairs, and when returned, he had changed clothes and was bringing a huge overcoat. He offered it to her. She put it on, got her things, and they left. 

Ben drove her home, and Rey got out of the car without saying goodbye. She knocked on the door, and Jannah opened it. Jannah pulled her inside, angry. 

\- What have you done with your life?- she said - you're out to destroy yourself even more, aren't you? 

\- I'll explain everything. Just let me change this clothes. 

Rey changed in her room. She told Jannah everything. And Jannah was getting more and more shocked as she advanced the story. 

\- I give up on you - Jannah said - how can you turn your life into this hurricane of a mess in one night? - she said - You'll never drink again, do you hear me?- she slapped Rey - You do a lot of shit when you're drunk. You suck, girl! 

\- Don't tell me that. - she said - I know all this. And now I'm going to have to decide about this rumour thing.... 

\- No. You're not really considering accepting it, are you?- Jannha said, getting on the edge of the sofa she was sitting on. 

\- I hate the idea - Rey said - the thought of me having to pretend to like Ben, and having to pretend we're having an affair, and doing those couple things with him to keep the rumour going, ugh- she shuddered -that would be my worst nightmare. Except- she turned to Jannah- my worst nightmare is being raped by Hux again. And fall victim to him and all his blackmail. I would do anything - she said, taking her friend's hand, -and you know this, I would do anything to make sure this never happens again. Even if it's playing Solo's girlfriend, then yes. I'm considering that idea. 

Jannah looked at Rey with mercy. 

\- I wish I had the money to pay for a decent lawyer for you, Rey. Then you wouldn't be the victim of either. But the money I have can only afford a small lawyer, and they're usually awful and you'd end up losing the case. - she hugged Rey - if you decide, whatever you decide, I'm on your side. And it will be temporary. We'll pool all the money we have, we'll settle this Hux thing, and you'll be free to do whatever you want! 

Rey wanted to believe so, but when? When would she finally have the life she'd always fought for?


	13. 13

Rey turned away from Jannah.

\- And where did you go last night?- she asked 

-ah!- Jannah stood up -I went to see this Doctor guy. I've been having some situations- she said, trying to pull away from Rey. 

Rey narrowed her eyes at her. 

\- What situations, Jannah?- she asked - Jannah! You're not telling me something. 

Jannah said nothing, just made her way to the kitchen. Rey got up and went after her. She took the girl by the wrist and turned her towards her. 

\- What have you done- she said angrily, Jannah, what have you done? 

Jannah arched her eyebrows, quivering her lips. 

\- I think I'm pregnant, Rey -she said. 

Rey opened her mouth and took a step backwards. She looked at her friend , shocked. -

\- your ex? 

\- No - she said - I slept with a guy in London. It was after I broke up with that idiot. I don't even know his name or anything, Rey! How am I supposed to raise a child without a father? 

Jannah saw a smile open on Rey's face and was confused. Rey hugged her friend. She had waited her whole life for that moment. She had always wanted to witness her best friend's pregnancy. 

\- I can't believe it - Rey said - you don't need a father. You have me. I'm going to be the other mother of your child - she pulled away to look at her friend - or the aunt, you decide. But I will raise this child with you. And poor of you if you want to abort it, I'll rip your limbs off! 

Jannah giggled. Rey was crazy. She wasn't going to be able to raise a child with her, was she? 

\- aaaah - Rey gave a shout of excitement and bounced out the kitchen - I'm going to be a mother. 

Rey was suddenly so happy. She couldn't even remember her problems anymore. Her best friend was going to be a mother! And so was she! 

\- I don't even know if I'm really pregnant, Rey - Jannah said, going after her - I had the test yesterday. The result won't come out until the day after tomorrow. 

\- don't cut me off!- she said - but seriously, if you are pregnant, we are going to raise this child together. - she sat down on the couch. 

\- You need to calm your anxiety -she said, -how about you start thinking about what you're going to do about Ben, huh? 

Rey frowned, angry. She didn't want to think about that. 

But she couldn't stop thinking about it for the next two days. She spent the days and nights thinking about every option, trying to find other ways out. She didn't come to any concrete conclusion, and decided not to stress so much about it. 

She didn't go to work on those days. And Ben didn't call her to ask her to do so, so she assumed that everything was fine. She stayed home ,concentrating on the Legendary Entertainment project. 

She had tried every way out. She couldn't build a crooked building or it would fall down. She had to think of support on the sloping base that would make the building straight and strong enough not to topple. 

Rey was lying on her bed, face down, with a pile of paper spread out on her bed, when the idea came to her. The most obvious, most accurate thing of all. 

She could make a car park. With minimal pavement so that there would be no runoff during the rains, leaving gardened spaces to maintain the structure of the land and prevent water accumulation and flooding. 

Rey gave a cry of victory and jumped on the bed. She had done it. She had solved the problem! 

\- What is it?- Jannah said, entering the room. 

\- I did it!- Rey said - I found the solution to the project problem!!! I need to set up a meeting with the board, they're going to...- Rey stopped halfway when she saw the envelope in Jannah's hand. She looked at her friend. It had been two days since she had taken the pregnancy test. Those should be the results- that's... 

Jannah looked at the envelope. 

\- it is. 

\- is it positive?- she asked. 

\- I'm not opening it now - she said - I'll open it after. 

\- Oh, aren't you a bit anxious? 

\- I am. But I'd rather wait. Go set up your meeting. 

Jannah went back into the living room. Rey called Phasma and asked her to set the meeting for half an hour. 

Rey changed quickly and went running. She took a taxi to the company and rushed upstairs with her draft in hand. 

Rey rushed into the conference room, in time to see the architects , Ben and Matthias, walking around without patience , waiting for her. 

Rey threw the draft on the table, gasping. She cracked a smile at the architects, who looked at her with confusion. 

\- I solved the problem - she said, trying to calm her breathing 

\- what?- Matthias leaned over the paper - how? 

\- Look - she threw her hair back and approached the table - we can't leave it without paving, even if they don't like it, because it rains, and there could be a landslide. So the most convenient solution would be a car park, with levels so the cars don't fall down the ravine, with columns strong enough to hold the building, and some landscaped areas to avoid water accumulation and flooding. That way we have both the land structure and a proper structure for the building. 

\- oh , but that's so obvious - Regina said - how come we didn't think of that before? 

\- maybe because you were thinking too high - one of the architects said - this design is perfect. 

\- I can fix the internal wiring of the building so that it adheres to this new design - Matthias said - and I think we can call Legendary Entertainment and set up a meeting, don't you, Mr Solo? - he turned to Ben. 

Rey raised his head, looking at him for the first time since he had entered the room. He looked at Matthias, and then at her. 

\- Yes. I think we do. 

The architects celebrated. None of them noticed how intense the look between Ben and Rey had become. She looked deep into his eyes. He didn't look away, and tilted his head to the side. 

He was requesting a conversation with her. Rey turned to Matthias. 

\- You take the plant to make the corrections, okay- she said- I have to get home. My friend needs me. 

Rey excused herself and left the room, passing quickly through the corridors, trying to get away from Solo. But he caught up with her halfway. 

\- Rey - he said, holding her arm. She stopped, her hands sweating. Why was she nervous? - Have you come to any decisions? 

Rey turned to him. She had yes, solved what she was going to do about him. 

During those two days, Rey had thought a lot about that proposal. Even though she already had the answer from the beginning, she still tried to find whatever way out there was. She was trapped between two bad choices. But she knew which was the worse one. And she knew which one she could survive. 

\- Okay - she said - I'll go along with your idea. But on one condition- she pointed her finger in his face - if you try to play with me, I'll smash your face in public. I couldn't care less. 

Rey could have sworn the corners of Ben's mouth had curved into a smile. Or had she imagined that? 

\- Okay, then - he held out his hand to her - deal. 

She squeezed his hand. 

\- deal. 

Rey stared at him for a minute. They stood motionless for that second. And then she released him and advanced down the hall to the lift. She stared into the lift mirror and her eyes widened when she saw her appearance. 

Rey's hair was messy behind her ears, her face red and tired, and she realized with horror that she was wearing the jumper Jannah's grandmother had knitted for her, a green piece with a random duck in the middle of her belly, eating donuts. Rey banged her head on the mirror, embarrassed. She had gone into the meeting with that. She hadn't even seen the clothes she'd put on. And Ben had seen her like that. What a shame!!!! 

The lift opened on the thirteenth floor and Rey turned around, staring confusedly at Ben, panting, stopping in front of her. 

\- What...you came running up from the twentieth floor?- she widened her eyes - are you crazy? 

Ben grabbed Rey's arm and pulled her out of the lift. 

\- There are paparazzi at the entrance of the company - he said - they saw you coming in. 

\- Oh my god - she said, running with her hand clasped in Ben's - what if they took a picture of me in this outfit? Oh my god! 

\- I don't know - he said - you're leaving by car. Take mine. It's in the car park - he got into another lift, an exclusive one for board members only. He pressed the button for the car park - here - he took off his suit jacket - put this on. And take the keys. My car is the dark blue one. - he handed her the keys. She looked at him. 

\- And you're going home how?- she said, putting his keys in his trouser pocket. 

\- You bring him back at night, around the corner from the pizza place down the street. 

Rey took off her jumper, and only then realised she was wearing nothing underneath but her top. 

It was perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. Ben reached out to grab her jumper when he saw what she was wearing underneath. He immediately turned around as Rey put on his jacket. She was embarrassed at first, but when she noticed he was red through the mirror, she almost laughed. 

\- It's all right, Ben. You can turn around - she said, laughing. 

Ben turned to face forward. He stared at the lift door, but the lift mirrors were eventually allowing him to see a little. He couldn't help it. She wore only her top with the jacket, and it was something that Rey did sometimes. She thought it was very stylish to wear a top with a suit. But Ben's suit was giant. It looked super baggy on her, like a fur coat.

The best part was watching Ben have to wait to go down all the floors to the car park. They finally got down and Ben led her to his car. She sat in the driver's seat and Ben leaned over the window.

\- Be careful, this car is very fast. Don't get too bold, because it's not cheap. 

Rey looked at him. 

\- You sound like Jannah's mother. 

Ben frowned. 

\- Who the hell is Jannah? 

\- I'll tell you later - she said, turning the key and starting the car. It roared. Rey gave a grin. That beast had power. 

\- Ahm, Rey?- Ben said. She looked at him - why you called me a demon that night of the premiere? 

Rey choked on a laugh. 

\- do I even need to say it?- she said, and drove away from him. 

Rey raised the windows and drove out of the car park. She drove home and parked in the doorway. Jannah got out with a super confused look on her face. 

\- Rey, did you steal this car? Where are your clothes? 

\- You won't believe what happened. - she said, pushing her friend into the house. 

Rey told Jannah, and the two of them choked up laughing. Rey sat down to eat lunch. Jannah sat down in front of her, and passed the envelope to her. 

Rey looked at the envelope, her mouth full of food, and looked at Jannah. 

\- do you want me to open it?- she asked. Jannah nodded - ok, then. 

Rey took the envelope and opened it, she unfolded the result and read all those confusing medical terms. At the bottom of the document, where there were the results of the blood tests, in the part of the table where it said 'pregnancy' there was an X at the positive option. Rey stared at that X, unable to say anything. His head began to spin. 

-Jannah was pregnant. With a stranger. The child wasn't going to have a father. But it was going to have two mothers. And that was incredible. And they would have to move into a house that could hold more bedrooms. And they'd have to find money to buy the baby stuff and... 

\- Rey!- Jannah called out. She lifted her head - so? 

Rey cracked a huge smile and threw her hands up in the air. 

\- you're pregnant!!!- she said, excitedly. 

Jannah stared at Rey, dumbfounded. She really didn't expect to be pregnant. She hoped it was just something in her head. 

\- we're going to be mothers!- she grabbed her hand. - That's so cool. I can already imagine what it's going to be like. We'll have to move, of course. And we'll make a room for the baby, and it'll be the most beautiful thing. And we can plan it all together. And I don't even care, you're going to register this child with my last name and that I'm going to be the legal mother, even if people think it's weird and think we're lesbians, I don't care. I always think it's amazing when best friends decide to raise a child together, it's fantast.... 

\- I can't - Jannah stood up - I can't look after a child, Rey. 

\- What?- frowned Rey and stood up - don't even think about aborting this baby, Jannah , or I will honestly kill you. 

\- I'm not going to abort it. I want to put it up for adoption. 

\- What for? So the child can live thinking his mother didn't want him? No! 

\- I can't spend money on a child, Rey- she said, holding her friend's face- how am I going to pay for the law stuff against Hux for you? You don't have any money. I can't just let you starve to death... 

\- Stop it- she said, pulling her friend's hands away from her face -I'm not going to starve to death. The most important thing right now is this child. Ben can afford it... 

\- Would you really rather be dependent on that disgusting man?- she said 

\- to keep you from dumping your child in an orphanage? I would. Because you're my best friend. You're half my soul. This is my son, too. I won't let you make this mistake. 

Jannah stared at Rey with an emotional smile. 

\- Own, Rey. You don't have to sacrifice yourself like this. It's not fair. 

\- Shut up, Jannah. I'm gonna have a baby. That's enough for me. 

Jannah turned away from Rey , with a smile on her face, with that expression of someone who was thinking about something. 

\- Are you going to tell Ben? - she said - that we're going to have a child? 

Rey fell into laughter. 

\- Oh, my God. He's going to freak out. It's going to be hilarious. I will, for sure. But right now, we have to think about what to do. Let's write down everything we're going to prepare for the child. 

Jannah and Rey form grab their notebooks. 

\- We can call him Jean - Rey said. 

\- No. That's an ugly name. And you don't even know what gender it is. 

\- So what? Let me dream, girl.


	14. 14

When it was evening, Rey received a message from the demon.

" I'm leaving in a little while. Bring the car. And wear something decent. I'll take you somewhere." 

Rey frowned. What was he up to? And how was she going to know what clothes were decent if she didn't know where she was going? 

She opted for the basics. She changed , putting on a black dress, a pair of heels and combed her dishevelled hair. 

Rey was on her way to the door, when Jannah stopped her in her halfway. 

\- Where are you going?- she asked. 

\- returning Ben's car. 

\- And why are you wearing those clothes? 

\- he said he's taking me somewhere. - she shrugged, picking up Ben's suit jacket from behind the door - I'll be back before eleven, I think. - she said - don't leave. And lock the door. Anything at all call me. 

\- Ok, go on. 

Rey left the house and drove the car to the agreed place. Ben was standing on the corner, his hands stuffed in his trouser pockets, his back to her. She parked next to him. He turned around and bent down to see if it was her. 

\- Hey, Solo - she greeted him, getting out of the car. - Did I take too long? 

\- Yes - he said, taking her coat. - What were you doing? 

She felt around on the passenger side and Ben got into the driver's side. Rey turned to him. 

\- I was having a very busy afternoon- she said, and gave a smile- Ben. I have news 

\- What? - he said, looking at her. 

\- I'm going to have a baby - she said, trying to hold in her laughter. 

Ben looked at her, then he tilted his head, confused and shocked. He looked at her belly. 

\- Are you pregnant?- he said. 

Rey laughed, shaking the air with her hand. 

\- No. Jannah is. We are going to have a child. 

Ben widened his eyes. 

\- Are you a lesbian? - he said. 

\- No, you idiot - she laughed - Jannah is my best friend, she got pregnant by a stranger, and she doesn't even know his name. So I'm going to be the second mother of the child - she said - I hope there's room for that in this fake relationship between the two of us because I'm not going to deny to any media that I have a child. 

Ben shook his head, laughing. 

\- you're crazy - he said - good luck with your son. 

\- Thanks - she said - but where are you taking me? 

\- You'll see. Stop being anxious - he said, driving through the streets of Los Angeles. 

It took a while to get there. In the way there, she was trying to figure out if that was about the real them or the fake relationship. It could be both. Or it could be none. Why were it taking so long to get there, but the way? 

Ben stopped in front on the beach, and Rey was confused for a moment. What were they doing on the beach at night? 

Before he got out of the car, Ben removed his tie and opened a few buttons on his shirt. She didn't blame him. The day was just too hot. 

She knew it had something to do with keeping up appearances of their fake relationship, and there would probably be some paparazzi following them that very minute. But when she saw where he was taking her, she had to do her best not to look at him with a weird look on her face. 

Ben took her hand and led her towards a lual restaurant by the sea, where there were a few people, but it was generally not too full. 

The perfect place for a fake couple to go to be 'alone'. 

Rey had to stop halfway. Her heels were sinking into the sand, and she couldn't walk straight. She took off her heels, leaning on Ben's arm. 

\- I'll take it - he said, taking the heels and dangling them on his fingers. He looked at her and moved closer - I feel like this idea is offending you - he said, low, close to her hair. 

Rey could have said yes. That she hadn't really thought through what that choice said to demand of her, and that she didn't want to make that sacrifice. But she thought of Hux, of her son, of Jannah, and herself. And with a not-so-shocking surprise, she knew that Ben was no longer her nightmare. She had met, in the last few weeks, a part of him she had never seen before. He wasn't the worst thing in her life. Maybe she would never forget what he had done, but she didn't know him. She had chosen to give him a chance. Then she would really let him prove himself. 

That was why when Rey looked into his eyes, she knew the words that came out of her mouth were true. 

\- it's okay - she said - I'm not offended. 

Ben looked at her with a different look. An intense, deep look. One that teared her apart, caught her off guard. He curved the corners of his mouth and took her hand. 

Ben led her into the restaurant. But he didn't take her to the tables, he took her to the wooden dance floor there, among other couples dancing. 

Ben left Rey's heels in the corner and took her by the waist. His touch was warm and his hand covered the middle of her spine. He took her hand as a song started. Rey hesitated at first, but brought her hand to his arm and wrapped it as close as she had ever been to Ben since their hug at the premiere. 

The music was slow, but not so slow that they'd dance round and round in circles. There was a guitar, and a violin. And if she wasn't mistaken there was a piano. She raised her eyes. And she regretted it immediately. She was caught in the look with which Ben was staring at her. He looked with intensity as they danced, but also with softness. 

Rey lost all sense of her surroundings as she danced, the wood icy and stiff under her bare feet. She felt the sea wind lift her hair as it swirled, splashing some salt water on her skin. 

She rested her head on his shoulder as looking at him began to give away what was going through her head. Her heart was beating too hard, and she couldn't tell why. 

She inhaled his scent. Scent of perfume and coffee. He rested his chin on her hair. And Rey felt that if she closed her eyes, she would feel safe. Safe like when she hugged her grandfather Obi-wan, but in a different way. There wasn't that paternally feeling she felt when her grandfather was alive. It was something different. She couldn't name it. 

Ben released Rey's hand and wrapped her waist with both arms. Rey wondered how much of him was acting there. And with a cold fear, she wondered how much she was acting. Until she realized she wasn't acting. She was feeling all those things, and she was dancing with Ben, and it was making her so confused. She didn't know what was real or a lie inside her anymore. 

She couldn't...no. She couldn't really be...no! Of course she wasn't. 

Rey pulled away from Ben as he spun her in the air. He pulled her back close and Rey stared at him, lips half open, against his chest. He was too close. It wasn't safe to be close like that. 

Rey pulled away from him, dancing as the music changed. She knew that song. " Love is war " , runaground. She knew how to dance to that song. 

Rey led, while Ben mimicked her steps. They used all the space they had to dance, in an incessant dance of steps between spins and swings. 

Ben danced better than she had imagined. He had strength and structure enough to lift her off the floor at the right moments, and the gracefulness of a dancer. He was gentle with her, and careful. He had the right precise, his body, which always seemed rigid , was more flexible when he danced. 

Rey slowed the pace as the music came near the end. But her chest had never been so fast. She looked at Ben, taking the last step of the dance. He looked at her, and all the rest of the world seemed to melt away. No one had ever looked at her like that before. Like she was something totally new, like she was the world's last treasure, like he was looking at her for the first time. And then came utter dread, slow and dangerous, as he shifted his gaze down to her lips. 

She knew what was coming next. A part of her screamed for her to stop him, but she couldn't move. She didn't want to move. The other part inside her was curious, anxious. And when Ben leaned in her direction, she didn't recline, instead she let him move. 

Ben kissed her, and even with the preparation she'd had earlier, she wasn't ready for the shock she took. He kept his hands in the same place, and so did she, as if they were unable to move anything but their mouths. 

Rey could have taken a step back, after all, she didn't need to kiss him to keep the rumour of her relationship with him going. And part of herself actually thought it was absurd that she was kissing the mouth that had slandered her all her life. But Rey went against all that. She kept kissing Ben back, which made him surprised, but they didn't stop. And after that initial moment of awkwardness where they both knew it wasn't necessary for them to do that, Rey was the first to move. She brought her hands up to his face, which was a very personal move for her. She only did that when she wanted to kiss someone. 

She felt guilt turn in her stomach. She wanted to kiss Ben. She didn't know if it was just out of physical desire, and she didn't think much of it. Because the next moment, he pulled her closer and brought one of his hands to the back of her neck. He threaded his fingers through her hair, and she felt her head surrender to his touch. 

And that was the trigger that made her stop. She couldn't be feeling all that desire for him. She pulled away from him, and looked into his eyes. It should have been awkward, but she saw complicity in his gaze. It was as if they had committed a sin together, and neither of them judged each other. 

The sound of the flash made her turn her head. She saw, behind the bathroom, hiding, a man pointing a camera at them. 

Rey took Ben's hand and his shoes, and she dragged him back to the car. She got in, throwing herself into the seat. Ben started the car. And they didn't exchange a word until he arrived at her house. Ben opened his mouth to talk to her, but she couldn't even look at him. 

\- Good night, Solo- she said, getting out of the car. 

She basically ran to the door. She knocked until Jannah opened it. She didn't answer any of the questions her friend asked, she locked herself in the bathroom. 

Rey's lips were still warm. She could still feel the sensation of his mouth on hers. She could still feel his hands on her body, she could still hear his breathing, she could still feel her heart beating fast. She felt like throwing herself out of the window. Her head was spinning, her heart was screaming. And all she could think, with a hint of that premature defiance, was that she would do it again. 

Guilt and shame burned inside her in contradistinction to stubbornness and pride. She was between being disgusted with herself and having the stubbornness to assume that she had enjoyed it. 

She was never going to admit it.


	15. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Valla and Sarah, for giving me the idea of giving Ben and Rey some therapy. They really need it 🤭🤭🤭

\- Tell me again. I don't really understand. You reunited with Rey, after years, and all the things you told me you did to her, and that you felt for her, and you hired her as your chief architect, but you ended up getting involved in this situation with her ex-boss, and you decided to fake a relationship to protect her from him?

\- Exactly - Ben said. 

\- What a lie - she said. 

\- what? 

Ben stared at Doctor Daiola Carmac, the therapist who had been with him for almost six years. He hadn't seen her since he had arrived in Los Angeles. She had moved there months after him, and he had had several reasons and opportunities to go visit her, but he hadn't. Maybe because he didn't think he needed therapy anymore. Well, he was wrong. 

He had rushed to her house just after he had taken Rey to hers. It was late at night, and he might have woken the doctor's children, but he needed to talk to someone. 

\- stop lying to yourself!- Daiola slapped his arm. - ah, this is going to be so much work. Okay. Let's start at the beginning. You came to the US , why and what happened after that? 

Ben slumped down on the couch. This was the part of therapy he hated. Having to tell all over again what had happened. 

\- I came here because my mom called to tell me she was quitting the company. And I came to take over, I couldn't let her sell all the hard work my grandmother had put into building the Amidala Company. I was in Italy, working at Genesis Laboratory , I quit my job to come here. That was about two years ago. 

\- And what happened next?- she asked. Ben looked at her -come on, you know how this works. You can't hide anything. 

Ben snorted. He didn't want to go over what had happened all over again. 

\- My mother convinced all the old architects and the board of directors to move on and not work for me, because she wanted me to start from scratch, so I wouldn't be smug and lazy and fall into the comfort zone. I had to set up a whole new board of directors. It was all going well. I was just having trouble finding an architect good enough to be the chief architect, when last year the scandal at the Hux Agency happened. At first, I didn't care, I just thought it was unfair that Rey was being judged like that. Because the way I know her, she'd never do anything like that- he said. Ben had so much to say that he couldn't barely organize his thoughts. - Anyway, time passed, and a few weeks ago, I got Rey's résumé. And I'm sure she didn't know I was the director, or she never would have sent that... 

\- Okay, let's stop here. Why didn't you care what happened to the Hux Agency? Tell me what you mean by that. 

Ben looked at her, annoyed. 

\- I don't know. - he said, losing patience - I don't have all the answers, Doctor! 

\- Yes, you do, but you're burying them. Because you don't want to face the truth. 

\- What truth? 

\- I don't know. You haven't told me yet. 

Ben was getting irritated. He had forgotten what therapy was like. That psychological game of questions and answers, digging up things he hadn't realized inside him, clearing his mind and taking away all the pride and shame, exposing him like a open wound in the sun. 

\- I don't know. - he said, running his hands through his hair - maybe...maybe because , well it was happening across the ocean, I couldn't do anything about it. 

Daiola tilted her head. 

\- But you would if you could? Back then? 

Ben frowned. He could see she was leading him to some kind of conclusion. 

\- No. 

\- Why? 

\- Because I destroyed her life. I would be very embarrassed to try to help her. 

\- And what's changed? Because you still destroyed her life, and you're helping her now. Why? 

Ben closed his fists. That was so hard, having to search deep within the depths of his depths for the answer. He wanted to slap something into that cynical face of Daiola's. She liked doing that, he knew that. She liked watching him twist himself around like a messy drawer. She liked the torture. 

He shook his head, saying the first thing that came to mind. 

\- Because I've matured, maybe? Because I apologized to her? 

\- No. - she said. 

\- How do you know? You don't know what's inside my head! 

\- Of course I do, I'm your therapist. I know everything that goes on in that tiny little potty you call a brain. You're as stubborn as a stalled donkey. You need this kind of pressure to think. 

Ben opened his mouth, offended. But she was right. And maybe she was the only person intimate enough to tell him that. 

\- ok. - he said, scratching his head and messing up his hair. Why had he decided to help Rey? What had changed? 

When he realized the answer, so stupid and pathetic that he was embarrassed to admit it. But he wasn't going to deny it either. He wasn't like that. It took him a while to name his feelings, but he always identified them, and after that , he'd try to deny it, but eventually he'd come to accept what he felt and think about what to do about it. 

\- because she opened up - Ben said - she opened up to me, even if she was drunk, she told me what happened, and she also trusted me to help her with her panic attack at the premiere. 

\- And that's what you wanted - Daiola said - for her to see you with different eyes, for her to give you a chance and trust you. And now you don't want to let her down, and you want to do everything she needs. The truth is you've always wanted that girl's specific attention. Can you tell why? 

Ben looked at Daiola with the vulnerable look of a dog. He shrugged, not knowing what to answer. 

\- Because I like her? 

\- Yes, but that's not all. You've liked her since you were a teenager, you tried to compare most of your girlfriends to her, and broke up with them because they weren't like Rey. Why were you so obsessed with Rey if you made her life hell, Ben? 

\- That's why- he said -because I was obsessed with her. And I was ashamed that people at school would connect her in any way with a person like me. So I was mean to her, so people would suppose we hated each other. 

\- Because you were an asshole. And you were an asshole so no one would know who you really were, because you were afraid and ashamed, we're past that point, Ben. There's something else there. You need to go deeper. Think about it! Why were you so impressed by her? 

\- AAAAAAAAH I DON'T KNOW DAIOLA!- he said, angry. - I have no idea. 

Daiola held back her laughter. 

\- Okay, no need to get desperate. I'll leave that as a point for you to think about during the week. Now let's focus on what happened next. You hired her. What then? 

Ben took a drink of water, his throat was dry. 

\- She got really mad - he said, smiling at the memory - she cussed me out and everything. And I told her to think about it. She called me shortly after, saying she would accept if I didn't talk to her other than work. 

\- You broke this deal - she said 

\- No. She broke the deal. I wasn't going to relate to her until the premiere. 

\- Yes, you were. 

\- No, I wasn't. 

\- You went to get her, Ben. In her house. You broke it first. 

\- So you're saying that her opening up to me was my fault? 

\- I didn't say that- she said calmly -but you were the first. Maybe she trusted you because you did it. You might have subconsciously influenced her. 

\- Great. So she didn't do it because she wanted to. I influenced her. 

\- of course not. She made the choice. She could have just run away, that day. But she chose to override her pride and looked to you for protection. Probably because she must have dealt with other abusive men in her life, and she had protection in a male figure. Most likely it was her grandfather, right? 

\- i think so. 

\- So she has no feelings for you - she said, like a knife straight to the throat- she's looking for a safe place to protect herself from Hux. 

Ben was silent, bitterly swallowing that information. Not that he wanted her to have any feelings for him , but almost that. 

\- though. If you consider the way she calls you a demon, and how she resists, running away from you, maybe there's something there, but there's no way to know. I'd have to talk to her to know. She has a complicated way to act, she must be very complicated to deconstruct.- she said, getting lost in thoughts - Now, you've made a connection since that night. Why did you suggest a false relationship? Don't tell me it was to protect her, that it wasn't just for that. 

\- You want me to say it? 

\- Yes, Ben. It's important to hear yourself say it because it helps you to admit it. 

Ben shook his leg, nervously. He had the answer. But he didn't want to say it. But he had to say it. He had to hear it. So he looked away from Daiola and said, low: 

\- Because that's what I wanted all along. 

\- You wanted a relationship with her from the beginning. Because you "like" her- Daiola made inverted commas with her fingers- and that makes you a scumbag stalker. You can't take advantage of her weakness like that, Ben! You're going to have to apologize to her and offer a way out, which you know you have, of you just protecting her without faking any relationship. 

\- I can't - he said - I kissed her, did you forget? And we were photographed. No one will believe me if I deny it. They have evidence! 

\- Well, then you'll offer a way out anyway. Think of something. Work it out. You have character and you know it was wrong. 

\- I know - he said, embarrassed. 

\- Now... Why did you kiss her? Was it impulse? 

\- I think so - he shrugged - a very stupid impulse, apparently. How am I going to talk to her again? 

\- With all your guts. You're going to have to talk to her about it. And apologize. And control all your impulses. This is not a real relationship. You have to act like this only in public. You have to convince even the board of directors, but respect her space. And her time. 

\- I know, I acted like an asshole. 

\- Like the asshole you were in high school - Daiola stood up and slapped him on the head - don't be him again. Remember what you did to her. Don't repeat that mistake, make up for what you did. And don't wake me up at the crack of dawn to cry your sorrows anymore, Solo. If you want to talk to me, make an appointment- she said,-now go away! 

Ben stood up, laughing. She led him to the door. 

\- Sorry, Daiola - he said - and thank you. 

\- Go already - she laughed and hugged him.- and don't spend all night thinking about that girl. You need to sleep! 

Ben laughed and got into the car. And it was already too late. He hadn't even started the engine and was already thinking about Rey. 

He kept replaying that night in his head until he got home. His mind burned with the memory of the feel of her body, and her lips, and her smell, and her hair, and how she had kissed him back. 

And it was that part that disturbed him. She wouldn't kiss him back. That was not something Rey would do. She hated him, she wasn't going to kiss him in a million years, and yet, she had kissed him. She had done it with every gesture. He could still feel the sensation of her hands on his face, small and cold. Why had she done that? 

Ben's greatest fear was that she had done it because he had influenced her. Just as he had influenced her to open up to him, he feared it was subconsciously. 

But in the end, it would have had to have been her choice. She wouldn't kiss him because she felt obligated. 

Argh! What a mess. He couldn't keep thinking about that all night. He had to take Daiola's advice and go to sleep. 

Rey came out of the bathroom after a shower, wearing her pajamas. And Jannah was already waiting for her outside. 

\- I won't force you to talk - Jannah said - when you're ready, I'll be here... 

\- Ben kissed me - she said, before Jannah had even finished her sentence. Jannah looked at her, dumbfounded. 

\- What? 

\- And I kissed him back - she said, feeling the tears rise up her throat 

\- WHAT? 

\- ah, stop. I don't know what happened. I think I need a therapist, because I must be crazy. I kissed him back, and we were followed by paparazzi, it's going to be everywhere tomorrow. 

Jannah ran a hand over her face. 

\- Okay, it's going to be all right. We'll fix it, Rey - Jannah went to hug her friend. 

\- No - Rey pulled away from her, turning around and sitting on the bed - I need a therapist. I'm not okay, I'm getting crazy, it can only be. I kissed the guy who made me full of trauma. Do you know anyone here? 

\- No, Rey. I just got here a little while ago. 

\- Maybe Finn does. I'll call him- she reached for her phone. 

\- Rey. - Jannah walked over to her, but Rey wasn't listening - Rey! - she took the phone from her friend - look at me - Rey looked at her, tears streaming down her face - why are you crying? You're too agitated. Talk to me! 

Rey fell into tears, hugging Jannah. She didn't know what was happening. She couldn't understand what was happening inside her. She was so confused. She needed help. Someone to take her apart and sort her out, because she was losing her mind. She needed answers. 

\- Will you judge me...- Rey said, stopping sobbing - if I say that...- she hid her face, embarrassed - I think I have something for him? 

Jannah turned away from Rey to look her in the eye. 

\- Of course you don't. I always told you you did, you just didn't want to see it. 

\- I need a psychologist- Rey said- not just for that. I have to learn to deal with my attacks. I have to stop being afraid of Hux , because it's killing me. 

\- I know, Rey - she said, handing the phone back to her - you didn't want to listen to me when I told you that. You won't be cured if you don't know what you have to be cured of. 

Rey stood up calling Finn. 

\- Rey- Finn said, answering- Do you know what time is it? 

\- do you know any therapists or psychologists? 

\- What? Why? Is everything okay? 

\- No. Yes, it is. I just need some help, please. 

\- Um, I don't know anyone. Let me see if Rose does. Rose! Do you know any therapists around here? 

There was silence on the line and soon after, Rose picked up the phone. 

\- Hello. Rey? 

\- Hi. 

\- is Rose. So... I know a very good one. She helped me when I moved here. She is great. I'll give you her number. 

Rey took a paper and pen. Rose gave her the therapist's number. Rey wrote it down. 

\- What is her name?- Rey asked. 

\- Doctor Daiola Carmac- Rose said -you won't regret it, she works wonders. 

\- I hope so!- Rey smiled - thank you so much, Rose. And I'm sorry for waking you up. 

\- don't mention it, whenever you need. 

Rey hung up the phone and turned to Jannah. She believed things would get better. Much better.


	16. 16

Rey woke up before Jannah. She showered, dressed and left. She was late for work. She hardly had time to think about what she was going to do if she saw Ben.

She hadn't stopped having flashbacks of the previous night since she had left the house. Throughout the taxi ride, Rey had tried to push the memories and sensations away, but it was difficult. 

She arrived at the company and took the lift to the twentieth floor. She walked up to Phasma to greet her. 

\- good morning, Phasma. 

\- good morning, Miss Kenobi - she said - um...Mr. Solo isn't in his office, he's... 

\- late? Ah, that's fine, Phasma. It's no problem. Thank you very much. Let me know when it's time for the meeting with the people from Legendary , okay?- she said, walking away and heading to her office. 

Rey walked into her office and turned on the light. She closed the door behind her and turned to go to her desk, but she got a huge fright when she bumped into Ben, standing in front of her. He must have been waiting for her in the dark. 

Rey stood frozen in place, staring at Ben, with an urge to run away. Ben looked at her, breathing heavily. 

-Ahm...good morning 

\- we need to talk - they spoke over each other, and it took her a minute to understand what he had said. Her blood froze. 

\- oh, we have nothing to talk about. - she said, walking past him and placing her bag on his desk. 

\- we do, Rey - he said, walking over to her and stopping beside her. She looked up at him. She really wanted to avoid that conversation at that time of the morning. 

\- I don't...- she cleared her throat - I don't think now is a good time, the Legendary representatives will be here any moment... 

\- we'd better have this conversation first - he said. - Rey. 

Rey let out a breath, nervous. She turned to him. 

\- Do you want to talk about yesterday?- she asked 

\- I want you to listen before you say anything- he said. He swallowed hard- I want to apologize to you. For a lot of things. - he looked at her. She felt as if her stomach was going to drop to her feet from nervousness- for last night. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry. It wasn't necessary, and I abused you... 

Rey frowned. 

\- You didn't abuse me. I was abused, I know what it's like. You didn't abuse me. But...I forgive you. It was a mistake. Just...don't do it again, please. 

\- I won't - he said, looking more relieved. - And also...- he moistened his lips - I feel kind of responsible for having trapped you into choosing between this false relationship and being vulnerable to Hux...I didn't offer you any other way out, and that was unfair. I'm sorry. - he said, raising his eyes to her-I can offer you another way out. It's a bit complicated. I can transfer a sum of money to your account here in the States and then you don't have to be stuck with me. Of course...with what they're posting today, there will still be some rumours for a while, but it will pass. 

Rey didn't know whether to be relieved, disappointed or offended. She didn't know what to think about that idea. There were a lot of things wrong with it. First of all, she wasn't going to get charity from Ben. Him paying for her lawyer was humiliation enough. And second, she was going to come off like the whore who goes out with rich men to get money from them. If she stuck to her relationship story, she could come out of that situation with a little more dignity, after all, she'd pretend to be in a serious relationship, and "break up" with him some time later, when her reputation was cleaner. 

\- no.- she said. Ben looked at her with a look of surprise and shock. - First, getting the charity of you paying for my lawyer is enough to destroy my ego, I don't need more reasons to want to break my mirror everyday. Second, if I do this, I'll come off as the whore who goes after rich men just to take money from them. The only way out that leaves me with a minimal of security and dignity is this farce. That is, if nobody finds out. Because if they do, I might quit my job and go strip tease in Vegas. 

Ben suppressed a smile from his lips. And the terrible thought flashed through her head, leaving her perplexed. Was he laughing because he had imagined her stripping? Oh, how embarrassing. How bashful. 

\- Well, I guess we're settled, then. You've got a meeting to prepare for, haven't you?- she said. 

\- Yes. Ahm...I'll see you in a bit, then. 

\- See you, Ben. 

Ben left the office and Rey leaned across the desk, breathless. That had been the most horrifying moment of her life. She had lied so much. 

They were a long way from settled. She could feel it, that every time she looked at him, she would remember that night. 

Rey's phone rang, giving her a fright. She answered it, awkwardly. 

\- hello? 

\- Rey. - Finn said - are you free today? 

\- Today? No. I'm working. I'm going into a meeting in a bit, why? 

\- I wanted to talk to you about what I saw today. What's this about you dating Solo? But didn't you hate him? 

Rey was speechless. She had totally forgotten that she had told Finn about Ben. She was never going to convince him that she was with Ben. He was never going to believe it. 

\- Ahm,...- she said - Well, so...I hated him. It's complicated. I can't explain it over the phone like that, you know.... 

\- No problem, I'll come to the company and wait for you to get out of the meeting. 

\- What? No! You can't come here! 

\- Why not? What are you hiding from me? 

\- Nothing. Why would I be hiding anything?- she laughed, nervously. 

\- So I'm coming over later. I'll take Rose, because she wants to come, and Poe, okay? 

\- Who's Poe? 

\- The guy you hit between the legs when we met. 

\- Oh. I don't think it's a good idea... 

\- See you later, Rey - he said, hanging up on purpose so she couldn't stop him. 

She closed her eyes. She was so screwed. How was she going to explain to Finn about Ben? 

Phasma knocked on the door. 

\- Miss Kenobi?-she said- they've arrived. 

\- Okay, I'm coming, Phasma - she said. 

Rey checked her clothes. She was wearing a simple black women's suit, which she had taken from the bottom of her wardrobe. 

She left and walked over to Phasma's desk. 

\- Where are they? 

\- In Mr. Solo's office. 

\- Okay, thank you- she said. She went to the door and knocked and opened the door - excuse me. Sorry for the delay. 

Rey walked in and closed the door behind her. She went to greet the company representatives, a man and a woman. She offered her hand to them with a smile on her face. 

\- I'm Rey Kenobi, chief architect - she said. 

\- Amelia Dargeron- the woman said - and this is Edgar Pheltis. 

Rey greeted the man, who stood exchanging not the least bit disguised glances between Rey and Ben. She had to try hard not to turn red. 

\- Miss Kenobi - Matthias said. He was sitting on one of the couches they were sitting on - we were explaining to them how you planned the part of the plan where you have the slope. Would you mind explaining what you worked out? 

\- Oh, sure. - she said, taking a seat next to Matthias and Ben. She pushed all the feelings that were screaming out of her and concentrated on the project. 

Rey showed on the blueprint plan, stretched out on the table in front of her, her plan for the studio, in detail, not forgetting any detail explaining all the doubts of the two. 

The meeting in general was very good. Ben and she acted completely professionally, and in the end both Amelia and Edgar seemed very satisfied. 

\- I think they'll love it!- Amelia said - we'll present the plan to them and you'll have the answer by tomorrow. I can almost certainly say it will be a very positive one! 

Rey cracked a smile. 

\- oh, it will be a great opportunity to work with Legendary Entertainment- she said. 

\- yes. Well, I guess that's it , isn't it?- Amelia said- shall we get going? 

\- Yes- Edgar stood up- thank you so much for having us. I see great things coming! 

The two said goodbye to the three of them and Matthias offered to take them both to the lift. Ben was behind, more slowly. And Rey was behind Amelia. 

She hadn't expected Amelia to corner her, and when Amelia took her by the arm and held her inside Ben's office, she was very confused. 

Amelia waited for the men to move away and turned to Rey with a defiant look on her face. 

\- I really think this deal will be something very prosperous for both companies- she said- and I wouldn't want that promising future to be spoiled by...too much unwanted scandal, if you know what I mean. 

Rey frowned, offended. 

\- I don't understand, ma'am - she said - you mean what? 

\- everything, young lady. Your reputation could ruin this company , and Legendary's reputation. After all, you and your boss drew a lot of attention at the premiere. I don't think that spotlight should be on you, but on the cast. And where do you think this affair of yours with your boss is going? Do you think your reputation is improving? You've never been so scandalous in your entire life. That's the second boss you're involved with -she grinned venomously - I'd like you to avoid relationships with the director, or you could end up with something far worse than reputation alone. 

Rey released her arm from Amelia's and looked into her eyes. 

\- I'd like you to stop meddling in my personal life with your threats and do your job while I try to do mine, yes? 

Rey walked past Amelia with anger burning in her stomach. She had barely started her fake relationship and was already receiving judgements. 

She watched Amelia enter the lift with an arrogant posture. Rey stuck her nails into her hands so she wouldn't grab that woman by the hair and punch her in the face. 

Ben saw her mood. He ordered something for Matthias, who disappeared down the corridor. Ben turned to Rey. 

\- What did she say to you?- he said. 

Rey turned her head. Of course he had seen Amelia holding her inside the office. 

\- Nothing I can't handle myself, thank you- she said. 

\- Rey. 

\- I'm serious. I've dealt with this before. Don't worry- she said, and saw Phasma spying on them from behind her computer. She let a smile slide across her lips and locked eyes with Phasma, who turned around immediately. 

\- If they're bothering you... 

\- I can defend myself - she said, patting his chest - I don't need a man for that. 

Rey walked into her office, leaving Ben in the hallway. 

When it was almost lunchtime, she heard a loud noise in the hallway. She opened the door and saw Rose and Finn, with that guy she hit on the beach, Poe. 

\- Rey!- Finn said, very loudly.- ah, I was looking for you! This girl here said I couldn't enter, but it's okay, right?- he said, indicating Phasma behind them. 

\- no, it's all right, Phasma - she said 

\- Phasma?- Poe said - wow, what an amazing name. - he looked at her like she was a goddess, he was almost drooling - you're single? 

Phasma rolled her eyes and walked off. 

Rey heard the sound of the door at the end of the hallway open. 

\- Rose?- she heard Ben's voice say.


	17. 17

\- Ben!- Rose shouted and ran off.

The three put their heads out to see. Rose hugged Ben, who lifted her in the air, as she was very short. He cracked a huge smile. 

\- oh, girl - he said, putting her down - what are you doing here? 

\- I came to see Rey - she said. 

Ben raised his head and looked at the three in the corridor. 

\- You know each other?- he said. 

\- yeah. - Rey said - I met her fiancé first - she said, slapping Finn on the arm. - Well, if you want to have a little chat with Ben, that's fine, Rose. Then you come in after. 

\- No, but I was going to...- Finn began. Rey pushed him into the room, and pulled Poe with her. 

Rey closed the door and turned to the two of them. 

\- geez, Rey. I was going to go and meet that Ben guy- Finn said. 

\- Later!- she said. 

\- Wow, she's angry!- Poe said- Hey, lady. Do you remember me? 

\- I do- she said. -It's Poe, right?- he nodded. - I'd apologize for hitting you with that ball, but you deserved it. 

Poe laughed. 

\- She's cool - Poe said to Finn - but what are we doing here? 

\- You're dating Ben Solo, Rey!- Finn said, going straight to the point. She went around the table and sat down. 

\- So what?- she said, trying to make it sound like it was nothing. 

\- So what ? - Finn went around the table and took Rey by the shoulders - did you hit your head? After everything he did to you? 

\- Keep your voice down!- she said, irritated. - I know, but it happened, geez. Did you by any chance control your heart not to fall in love with Rose? You didn't, did you? 

\- you fell in love with him? How in earth did it happen? - Finn was completely shocked. 

\- I don't understand anything- Poe said- what's going on? 

Finn explained superficially what Ben had done to Rey. Poe was very shocked. He looked at Rey as if she were an alien. 

\- Do you have Stockholm syndrome?- he asked 

\- No- she said, offended -he's changed. And if he goes back to being an idiot like he was before, I'll dump him. Stop all the drama, aff. 

\- Oh, Finn. It's her decision. She's a masochist. Let her be happy getting beaten. 

\- What? Aaaaargh - Rey stood up, furious. - You ridiculous! - She went after him, full of rage.Rey started to hit Poe. He tried to defend himself. 

\- Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean that. 

Rey turned away from him. He was an idiot, the comedian type. She couldn't hate him. 

Rose knocked on the door and entered, bringing Ben with her. 

\- Hi guys - she said - hi Rey! 

Rey smiled at Rose, avoiding Ben's gaze. 

\- Ben, this is my fiancé Finn, and this is Poe. Guys, this is Ben. 

\- Nice to meet you, Finn.- Ben shook Finn's hand and then Poe's - Poe. 

\- What's up - Poe greeted him. 

\- So...- Ben said, looking at Rose - when are you two getting married? 

\- ah! - Rose smiled - that's what we came here for. I wanted to tell you, but I lost your number. You have to give it to me later. We're getting married in three days! 

\- Three days?- Ben smiled. 

\- Yes. Finn dragged me here to invite Rey, I didn't know I was going to meet you here. 

\- You came to invite me?- Rey said - and you were talking nonsense in my ear the whole time - she slapped Finn. 

\- I got distracted. - he said - it was shocking. 

\- Anyway - Rose said , after being interrupted - but since you guys are dating, you can go together! 

Rey looked at Rose, paralysed. Oh my god. Did she just went there? 

Ben looked at Rey. She looked at him. He smiled, and she gave a smile in reflex. 

\- that's a great idea - he said - that would be great. 

\- Ahm...can we invite Phasma?- Poe said - she's a goddess, my Jesus. 

\- Fucking womanizer - Finn slapped Poe - I'll invite her then. 

\- aaah my brother - Poe said, excitedly. Rose and Rey rolled their eyes. 

\- Well, here are the invitations. Do you guys want to bring anyone else?+ Rose asked. 

\- Yes - Rey said - do you remember Jannah? 

\- Jannah!- Rose smiled - yes, that would be amazing - she said, handing Ben four invitations - I wish I could stay longer, but the wedding rush won't allow me. I'll see you guys soon. 

They all said their goodbyes and left. Rey walked over to Ben and took three invitations from his hand. 

\- I guess we'll just have to dance a little longer, won't we, Mr. Solo?- she said. 

She left the room. She didn't have to look at his face, she heard him choke on his saliva as she left. 

Rey walked over to Phasma. 

\- Phasma, you are invited to the wedding of Finn Jensen and Rose Tico. That womanizer who was here will be there, he'll be all over you, but come. You're going to be one of the only people I meet at this wedding. 

Phasma giggled. 

\- All right, Miss Kenobi - she said - I'll come. 

\- just one thing, Phasma - she said - just call me Rey, please. 

Phasma smiled at her. Rey stopped by her office to nail down her bag. 

\- Where are you having lunch, Ben?- she asked him. 

\- Is it lunchtime already?- he looked at his watch- oh, I didn't even notice. 

\- then you come with me - she took his hand and dragged him out of the room. 

They got into the lift and went down to the ground floor. They stepped out into the street and Rey took his hand back. She had convinced herself to swallow her feelings and pretend they weren't there. She was going to play his girlfriend, and do it right. 

His hand was warm, and it warmed her icy hand before they reached the restaurant. Rey sat down at one of the tables with Ben. They had barely sat down and Rey saw Ben's gaze turn cold and his eyebrows close over his eyes. 

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't need to see it. She recognised that touch. 

Hux stopped beside her with a smile on his face. 

\- Hello Rey. Hello Solo - he said - are you lovebirds enjoying such a beautiful afternoon together? How cute. 

She knew what he was doing. They were in public. She couldn't break his face in public. He was taunting her. 

\- What do you want, Hux? Ben said. 

\- Oh, don't be so rude, Solo. I just want to say hi to my ex architect- he said - how are you, Rey? 

Rey was not going to stoop to that bullshit. She grabbed Hux's wrist from her shoulder, twisted it and pulled him close to her face. She looked into his eyes with disgust and anger. 

\- If you're not out of here in three minutes, I'm going to leave you worse off than Ben left you that night at the bar, and that scar on your face is going to look like nothing with what I'm going to do to you. And you know what I'm capable of. 

Hux gave a hoarse laugh. 

\- So sexy - he said, letting go of her. He put his clott back in place - I'll see you again, sweetie. 

Hux disappeared through the door. Rey turned to Ben and sank into her seat. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and calming her nerves. She wanted to run out after Hux and break every bone in his body. He was a mindless disgusting bastard. 

\- Rey - Ben said, taking her hand. She straightened in her seat and opened her eyes to look at him - are you alright? 

\- I think so. But he's planning something- she said, and leaned towards him- he came to the States after me, he didn't come to play. He's got something big on his sleeve, and he's going to use it to make my life worse. 

\- Hey. That's not going to happen. We're gonna figure this out. I made an appointment with the lawyer - he said - I think it's after Rose's wedding - he said - do you want me to take you there? 

Rey nodded. The waiter arrived and took their order and left. Rey was left mulling over her thoughts regarding Hux. And decided to share with Ben what she had been thinking since she had arrived to the United States. 

\- Ben?- she said. 

He looked at her. 

\- Yes? 

\- do you think - she leaned towards him and spoke low - do you think if I did what Hux wants, he would leave me alone afterwards? 

Ben frowned. 

\- What do you think he wants you to do?- he asked, low. 

Rey looked around to make sure no one was listening. 

\- He wants me to have sex with him, of course. 

Ben opened his mouth, not believing what she had said. 

\- Of course not, Rey. Where did you get that idea? You can't do that. 

\- but if I did. Do you think he'd stop? 

Ben tilted his head, as if pitying her. 

\- I don't think he would stop. I think it would only make him worse. 

\- I don't understand why he's so obsessed with me. - she said. - did I do something? To make him so...needy? Do you think I do something? Do I do something to you? Or to other people? 

Ben swallowed. He remembered the conversation with Daiola the night before. 

" Why are you so obssessed with her, Ben?" Daiola's voice echoed in his head. 

\- no. I don't think so - he lied. He needed to take her thoughts aqua from that before she noticed he felt that for her too. 

\- I need to get this man away from me - she said. 

\- we'll figure this out - he said, and to Rey's shock, he took her hand and brought it to his mouth, and when Rey thought he was going to kiss her, he opened his mouth and took a bite. Rey fell over in laughter. 

\- Why are you biting me?- she said, laughing, her dimples jutting out in her face. 

\- Because your hand is like a little bread - he said - it's soft, and white, and has a lot of freckles... 

\- my hand doesn't look like a bread!- she said, but didn't pull her hand back. She let him keep taking little bites around her hand. 

Rey watched as he concentratedly stuck his teeth into her palm. And her smile narrowed as she felt something drop inside her, that strange feeling that something warm and comfortable had entered her chest, spreading that comfort throughout her body. 

She looked into his eyes, looking at her hand, and his lips, tickling her hand, and his hair, soft and shiny, falling across his face. She knew that sort of thing only made the confusion of her feelings worse. But in that moment it felt right. It felt adequate. And she convinced herself that that was the only reason she let him into her trust zone a little more. 

Poor Rey. She didn't know what she was doing.


	18. 18

Rey went back home. The day at the company had been very busy, and she was exhausted, but she had to call that doctor.

She picked up her phone and dialled the number Rose had given her. 

\- Hello?- a woman's firm voice said, on the other end of the line. 

\- Hello. I'm a friend of Rose's, I was wondering if you have a free hour for today. 

\- Oh. Rose's friend. Rose Tico? 

\- Yes. You're Doctor Carmac, right? 

\- Yeah, that's me. Well, I have now . I'm free until eight. And then I'll call it a day, do you want to come? 

\- Yeah. 

\- Okay, what's your full name? 

\- Rey. Rey Kenobi Palpatine - she said. 

\- Rey? - she said, choking - oh! Rose told me about you. 

\- she did?- she asked 

\- Yes. Ahm...I'll see you in a bit, Rey. I'll text you the address. 

The Doctor hung up. And soon after, Rey received her address. 

Rey showered and changed. She took a taxi to go to the doctor's office. It was on the sixth floor of a building opposite where Rey worked. 

When she arrived, she spoke to the receptionist and waited in the waiting room. 

Daiola was about to have an attack of the nerves. How did Rey find her? 

Rey. Ben's Rey. Ben's Rey wanted to have therapy with her. 

How would she attend therapy for both Rey and Ben at the same time without telling either of them? Without them noticing? 

Daiola paced back and forth in her office, trying not to freak out. She could do that. She was an excellent liar. She'd just have to pretend she'd never heard of Ben Solo and not give details of his sessions and only judge him by what she said. Nothing more. It wasn't complicated. 

\- Ma'am - Delilah, her secretary entered the room - Miss Kenobi has arrived. 

\- oh. Oh my God. Okay, send her in. 

Daiola took a deep breath. She wasn't going to mess that up. She fixed her blond hair, which was loose falling to the middle of her back, full of knots and a little messy. 

When Rey walked into the room. Daiola kind of understood why when Ben described her , he said she looked like an angel, or a flower, or a fairy. Because Rey was really very beautiful. She had the most delicate yet firm features she had ever seen on a female face. Her hair was short and wavy and dark, which made her even whiter, and her face was full of freckles. She had hazel eyes that deceived and looked green. And she was taller than Daiola had imagined. She had poise, and elegance. 

Rey smiled at Daiola and offered her hand. 

\- Hi - she said - I'm Rey. 

\- Daiola -she said, shaking Rey's hand. -sit down, please. 

The two sat opposite each other, on different couches. Daiola absorbed Rey's body language, watching her for a minute. 

Rey was tense, as if she was about to confess a sin in a confessional. She had tics with her legs, swinging them endlessly, and kept fiddling with her hands. She could already tell by the way she transitioned between bending over and adjusting her spine that she cared what others thought. She had an anxious look in her eyes with that glimmer of pain. She had been through some trauma. 

She already knew all that, but she had erased it from her head and was assessing Rey from scratch. 

\- Are you nervous, Rey?- Daiola asked. 

Rey gave a nervous smile. 

\- A little, I guess - she said. 

\- Don't worry, this is just a starter session, I'm not going to go too deep with you yet. Let's start with the shallow stuff, okay? 

\- Okay - Rey said. 

\- Tell me a little bit about who you are, Rey. Where you were born, your family, your job, the school you went to. 

Rey took a deep breath, calming down her anxiety. 

\- I was born in London, England- she said, -and my parents died when I was very young. I was raised by my grandfather, Obi-wan, and he was always very good and encouraging. He taught me to be who I am. And I am very grateful to him- she said, and Daiola noticed that her anxiety was making her restless. She kept moving her body the whole time. - He died when I was 16.- she said. And Daiola felt the pain in her voice. She could imagine. Losing the only person you have , at a such young age. -I was bullied a lot at school then, especially by this boy, Solo. He was very cruel to me. And going through my grandma's death and the bullying was awful. - she avoided looking at Daiola, -I had depression, soon after, when I went to live with my other grandfather, Sheev Palpatine. He treated me really bad. He beat me up and made me like a maid. And some of his friends used to hit on me. 

\- you were bullied at school. Do you know why? 

Rey thought. 

\- I think because I had a scholarship. I went to private school, but I was poor. 

\- Ah. Yeah. And after you went to live with your other grandfather, what happened? 

\- I moved away when I was 18. I went to college, where I met my best friend. Her family basically adopted me. They helped me out of my depression. Well, I went to college, worked at two companies and then got hired by Hux agency. I guess you heard about the scandal, right? 

\- Yeah, but I'm not gonna make any conclusions without hearing what you have to say. 

Rey wrung her hands, nervous. And Daiola noticed bite marks on them. 

\- ahm...I... 

\- What is it?- Daiola grabbed Rey's hands. 

\- oh. - Rey gave a smile - it was Ben. Ahm...my boyfriend...he was playing with me today, he didn't bite hard... 

Daiola raised her head. 

\- Ben? That Ben from the news? Ben Solo? The same Solo from your childhood? 

Rey opened her mouth and removed her hand from Daiola's. 

\- It's... it's complicated. He used to bully me at school... 

\- You need to tell me the whole truth if you want me to help you, Rey. 

Rey looked at Daiola. She hesitated for a few minutes, leaving the room in total silence. 

\- ahm... it's a fake relationship - she said - what you see on the news, it's all lies. He's helping me with Hux's lawsuit. And it's complicated, it's about something Hux did to me, and ended up telling Ben, and he wanted to help me. I didn't trust him, our relationship was completely professional, but I was drunk and I said more than I should've. Oh...it's a long story. 

\- You don't have to say everything at once, Rey- Daiola said -from what I understand, you're in some kind of trouble, aren't you?- Rey nodded - so let's start at the beginning. Back at your parents. Do you remember them? 

\- A little- she said. 

\- Do you believe in God? Do you believe in anything? 

\- No. I...I believe that things happen for a reason, but I don't believe in any deity. 

\- do you feel lonely? 

Rey swallowed dryly, staring at the doctor. Her head had lost all thoughts of the present, and she remembered her mother. Very little. Most that she had of memory were of the pictures. 

\- Yes - she said - I feel lonely. 

\- Do you tend to trust people easily, Rey? 

\- no - she said 

\- why not? 

\- ah - Rey let out a sigh - because you can't trust everyone. Not everyone has good intentions. 

\- Yes. But do you trust your best friend? 

\- Yes. 

\- do you trust your fake boyfriend? 

\- no. 

\- are you sure? 

Rey leaned back on the couch. She felt trapped by those questions. Because they were forcing her to face and see her situation differently. 

\- I do. 

\- if you don't trust him, why are you faking a false relationship with him? Because that requires trusting your body and your reputation in public to the other person. So you trust him , even if it's just a little. 

Rey looked away. She hated being wrong. And being wrong about herself was even more shameful. 

\- I guess you're right- she said. 

\- Look... I know it must be scary. Is this your first time in therapy? 

\- Yes. First time. 

\- So let's change tactics. This is a safe space- she said. She must have been sensing Rey's fear.- I'll respect your time and space, and we don't need to rush anything, we'll take our time, according to how ready you are to handle the situation, okay? 

\- ok- Rey said. 

\- Can I ask you what brought you to therapy? 

Rey bit her lower lip, thinking. It was a number of things. But mostly because she couldn't handle everything that was going on anymore, and her head was confused and she could barely think straight. 

\- my life has never been very calm - Rey said - I've had a lot of bad experiences since I was young, but lately...it's been so hard. There's so much going on all at once. My head is so confused. 

\- So...you came here to organize the mess inside you? 

\- Yes. That's right. 

Daiola leaned forward. 

\- Can you tell me what things are going on? 

\- ahm...- Rey looked up at the ceiling, thinking.- Hux's lawsuit. My bank account being blocked. My best friend is pregnant. I have a wedding to go to in three days, the next day I'm seeing a lawyer, I have to work on a long, laborious project with a staff that doesn't like me very much. And I have to maintain a fake relationship with the guy who used to bully me. And I still have to deal with panic attacks, post traumatic stress episodes, a bunch of confusing feelings that I don't understand and keep calm and control. 

Daiola wrote all that down in a notebook. 

\- We are going to organize these things in phases. When you get home, I want you to take a notebook and make it your journal. Whatever you're feeling, you write it down, okay? But first, I want you to separate whatever is happening to you, even the smallest things, into things you have to resolve, things you are resolving, inner conflicts, past traumas, unresolved conflicts and insecurities. 

\- ok. - Rey said 

\- Do you have anything that is getting in the way of you daily routine that you need immediate help with?- she asked 

\- My panic attacks and post traumatic stress episodes -Rey said- I don't know how to deal with them properly. I just take deep breaths, but sometimes that's not enough. 

Daiola stood up. She walked over to Rey. 

\- Get up - she said. 

Rey stood up and turned to Daiola. 

\- when you have a panic attack, you need to breathe properly, or you won't be able to calm your body. So when you inhale the air, count to five. Hold your breath for five seconds and release on five again. Hold the posture that is most comfortable for you. It can be lying down, sitting or standing. - she said - but you can't tighten your diaphragm, or you won't be able to breathe. One thing I strongly advise is the pillow position. Here - Daiola picked up a pillow from the couch and placed it under Rey's rib - hold this and lean forward. 

Rey took the pillow and leaned forward until her body made an upside down L. Daiola pulled Rey's arms until the pillow was glued to her body. 

\- you do this position and practice breathing exercises. Close your eyes if it helps. And think of the first positive thing that comes into your head. Focus on it. Don't let the bad thoughts fill your head. 

\- Do you think it will work?- Rey stood up - my attacks are usually pretty bad. 

\- It works- she said- I'll write down some things that might help during attacks. And a new routine for you. - she said, walking over to her desk. 

\- is it the same for post traumatic stress attacks? 

\- No. - she said, writing in a notebook - during a PTSD episode you need to bring yourself back to reality - She raised her eyes to Rey - nothing you relive is real. You've been through it and you're safe. You need to breathe slowly. Move a little. When you feel the attack coming, start running, or dancing. It helps a lot. And if it's too late, ask someone for help. And don't keep going back and relying on triggers - she went up to Rey and gave her the list - it's all here. Read it, and learn. And most important of all... 

Daiola looked into Rey's eyes. 

\- What? 

\- Most people who have been through a major trauma think it was their fault, or that they deserved it. Or that they deserve everything bad that happens to them. - Rey looked away. She knew it was true. Daiola held Rey by the shoulders -it's not your fault. You didn't deserve what happened to you. And you don't deserve everything bad that happens to you. You don't have to take every shot that comes your way. Give yourself a break. Respect your body and your health. When you feel that something is too heavy, don't feel guilty about leaving that thing behind. Don't be afraid to say no. Stop being so hard on yourself. Because you deserve some peace. You won't be selfish if you deny something because you don't agree with it, do you hear me? 

\- Yes, ma'am. - Rey said 

\- no. Say it. Say it to me. 

Rey gave a shy smile. 

\- I have to respect myself and stop being so hard on myself. - She said, looking at Daiola - and I have to know how to say no. 

\- What else? 

\- I don't deserve what happened to me. And it wasn't my fault. 

Daiola smiled 

\- The tiredness, and the wounds, and the weakness are not bad things. They're what make you get up. And what connects you with your body. Listen to what your body is telling you. Obey it. You , and your health comes first. 

Rey giggled. She liked Daiola. She was really good. She didn't even know what had happened to Rey, and she was already helping her more than Rey thought she would>

\- you can schedule your next appointment with Dalila. I wanted to stay with you more, but my kids are home alone. If you need anything. And I mean anything, call me! 

\- I will - Rey said - thank you so much, Doctor. 

\- just Daiola. 

\- Ok. 

\- have a good night, Rey. 

Rey said goodbye to Daiola and scheduled the appointment with Dalila , the secretary. 

Rey returned home. She took a notebook and read Daiola's list. 

" For Panic Attacks. 

\- Breathe!!!! \- Find a comfortable position \- Distract your mind and don't think about the trigger that caused the attack. \- Eat candies. It helps. \- Think about something positive \- Try the pillow position \- Focus on an object in the room and try to clear your mind \- Relax your muscles 

For PTSD Attacks 

\- Breathe!!! \- It's not real! You are safe! \- Bring yourself back to present reality. Any way you can. Pinch yourself if you need to. \- Focus on something positive \- Move your body! Dance, run, exercise. \- Get help from someone you trust. \- Avoid triggers \- Don't give in to feelings and memories, even if they seem vivid. \- It is not your fault. You didn't deserve what you went through. \- Take time for yourself. Respect your time, space and will. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't repress your wills. \- Stop being so hard and cruel to yourself! \- Respect your body. Listen to what it is telling you. Obey it. 

It's okay to be tired. It's okay to be hurt. It is okay to feel weak and powerless. It is okay to be not okay. That's what is to be human. Embrace your humanity, don't run from it. Pain is part of the process. 

Adopt a new routine! 

\- Engage self-care. \- Practice mindfulness and focus. \- Do physical exercises. \- Adopt a healthy diet. \- Sleep well. \- Take time out of your day to relax. \- Set your priorities. \- Avoid drinking alcohol. \- Try this: yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, acupuncture, massages, more contact with the nature. \- Find new hobbies! 

You'll see, if you do all this, the attacks and episodes will be less frequent, and when they come, you'll know how to push them away without difficulty. 

Take care of yourself, Rey!" 

Rey gave a smile. She put the list in her notebook. She had a lot of things to organise. But she would do that the next day. She would start her new routine that very day. Starting with an early bedtime.


	19. 19

Ben couldn't sleep. It was already three in the morning, and he was in his kitchen, with a bottle of wine, trying to get drunk until his sleep came.

It wasn't working. Of course it wasn't working. He was a big man. One bottle of wine would never get him drunk. 

He kept hearing the voice of Rey, echoing in his brain like a poison. 

" Why is he so obsessed with me?" 

Oh, if she knew half the things he had done because of her. She would run to the other side of the world, thinking he was crazy. 

And maybe he was. After all, it wasn't normal for one person to have as much fascination for another as he had for her. And even more so after what he had done to her. 

Argh. How repetitive that thought was. He felt like his head kept spinning in circles. He had been an idiot, to protect himself and save Rey from getting a bad reputation at school. He had to get over it. He had apologised, she had said she wouldn't forgive him. But he had done his part. He couldn't dwell on the past, especially since he couldn't change it. 

If Rey didn't want to see him as the man he was in the present, he was going to show her. He wasn't going to keep going back to what he did in high school. 

But it wasn't healthy. He had compared all of his ex girlfriends to Rey. Because he was looking for what he found in her, what attracted him to her. 

And what was it that attracted him to her? 

Ben couldn't tell. Maybe the way she lived, how she didn't give up, and was so strong. She had come out of so much suffering as a victorious warrior, and every time she got up, life would knock her down again. And she would get up again. Ben wished he had half the strength Rey had. 

Or maybe it was how she had a light inside her, a joy and a unique spirit. She was special. She was unlike any woman he had ever met. 

Maybe Ben was jealous of Rey. Because she was everything he was never going to be. She was the complete opposite of him. 

Either way, Ben wanted what Rey had. And he hunted for it in every woman he'd ever been in a relationship with. He found some of it in a few. But there was no one like Rey. 

And analysing it from that point of view, he even felt sorry for himself. How pathetic. He looked like a teenager, living in search of something he couldn't have. He had to be careful, so that with the farce between him and Rey, he wouldn't get used to it, so that he wouldn't go back to being the asshole he was, and not get attached. Because Rey could leave at any moment. 

Ben stared at the glass of wine in his hand. He didn't want her to leave. He liked her. He liked having her around. She made his days easier to live through. 

Being Amidala's director was not easy. He liked his job, but his mother didn't make it easy. She put up every obstacle she could. As if abandoning him across the ocean hadn't hurt enough. 

She said it was so he would mature, but he was already 30. Ben didn't need to learn anything from his mother. He knew how to live his life on his own. And yet, Leia thought him moving to LA gave her the right to play the mother she hadn't been and demand everything from him. 

Ben turned the wine glass over, trying to drown his bitterness. And just as he was filling his next shot, he realised he needed something stronger. He went to his cellar and picked up a bottle of Scotch whisky. He didn't even bother to get a glass. He ripped the cap off with his teeth and turned the bottle on his mouth. 

Ben put the bottle down, shaking his head as the alcohol kicked in and stung. And even then, he couldn't stop the flashes from coming. 

Hux. He would kill that man. He had touched Rey. He had harmed a creature as pure and perfect as she was. How could he? 

And Rey. He didn't even know if she had ever had a relationship before Hux. Or after. She must have been full of trauma. 

Ben wanted to hold Rey, and protect her. He wanted to look into her eyes every day. He wanted to see her smile every day. He wanted to feel her kiss again. He wanted to hear her swear at him, and be sassy, and give her one of the burning slaps with her little hands, being cruel to him and hating him, cause that was better than not having her at all. And he wanted to see her come out of that traumatic state of fear she was living in. She deserved better. He wished he could be the better for her, but she would never see it that way. 

Oh, he was fucked. 

Whatever he felt for Rey wasn't just 'liking' her like some dumb teenager. Whatever he felt for her ( he didn't dare name it) , was deeper than that. 

And she only felt hatred for him. Or disgust. Or pity. And at most, she could stand him because he was helping her. She was feeling humiliated at having to fake that with him, probably. She didn't see him with the eyes he wanted her to see him with. 

Ben turned the bottle over again. The alcohol burned his throat. The familiar taste was no use, he felt like he was swallowing rust. He drank the whole bottle and reached for another. He didn't get drunk easily. But if he drank fast, maybe it would speed up the process. 

Ben put the bottle down and the doorbell rang. Only because he was starting to feel dizzy. 

Ben staggered to the door, drinking another half of the bottle. He opened the door and saw Leia with an angry look on her face. 

\- ah, you, again?- he tried to shut the door in her face, but she pushed him away and walked in - I have no business talking to you, mother. Just go away. 

\- What are you doing?- she said, reaching for his bottle. He held up his arm, and she couldn't reach, because she was too short. - You look like your father. What is it this time? 

Ben frowned. 

\- This time? You've never seen me drunk before. There hasn't been a time before for you to be saying that. I don't know what you want here. 

\- What's this about you being with that architect of yours? Are you crazy? She's your employee. You know how this kind of relationship is glazed over in the media. 

\- My personal life is none of your business. I'll be with whoever I want. You never cared before. Why are you caring so much now? 

Leia looked at him, offended. 

\- It's not fair- she said- the way you treat me. I've never done anything to you... 

\- Exactly - he said, spreading his arms in debauchery - you've never done anything to me. You only left me to live on my own when I was just a kid. And I had to raise myself on my own. You weren't there to teach me anything, or help me. You're not gonna start now, and you got no right to demand anything from me. Now, do me a favor and go away. It's not like you really care what happens in my life. 

Ben opened the door. Leia looked at him, with hurt and pride on her face. She stuck her nose up and left the house. Ben slammed the door and threw himself on the couch. He finished that bottle of whisky and finally the world began to melt away. 

And then there was nothing left. He fell into dizzyness, losing all his feelings. It was like diving into a swimming pool. Out of nothingness, there was only silence. 

Rey woke up and Jannah was no longer there. She assumed her friend had gone to see the doctor or something. 

Rey started her day with a hot bath. She felt refreshed. Like she was starting a new phase of her life. And she really was. 

Rey changed into slightly more comfortable and casual clothes and searched for a guided meditation video. She sat on her bed and closed her eyes, obeying what the woman in the video was saying. 

She found it difficult to concentrate. She kept wandering her thoughts and had to keep turning her focus to her breathing, as the girl suggested in the video. 

The twenty minutes of meditation passed, and by the end Rey felt a little calmer. Her mind was disappointed that she hadn't succeeded the beginning, but it was her first time, so it was okay. She already felt lighter. 

Rey spent a little more time looking after her hair and her skin. She took the time to take care of herselJf. She looked in the mirror and no longer saw that tired look. That regretful look. She had made mistakes, iyrrriirbut it was okay. She was human again. 

Daiola's voice and advice were taking up most of her thoughts. She wanted to follow each one, but without rushing. She wasn't going to let anxiety take over. 

Rey ate a hearty breakfast, grabbed her bag and walked to work. And that really helped her. Instead of taking a taxi, and watching the streets go by, she walked down them, looked into people's faces, got a few smiles, and a few pitying looks. But she was doing just fine. 

On the way, Rey was listening to music on her headphones. The music was taking over her mood, and she felt that this was going to be a great day. 

Rey had never felt so good about herself before. She wasn't torturing herself with aggressive thoughts or guilt. She was simply living in the present moment. 

Of course the insecurity came, and the thoughts came. When people looked at her differently on the street, or when she looked at herself, wondering if that outfit was too uncomfortable for work – after all, she was wearing simple light jeans, trainers and a red shirt with at least three buttons open– but in the end Rey just pushed such thoughts away, saying to herself. " I have the right to be a normal human being for once in my life". 

Rey arrived at her work and said good morning to everyone she met in front of her. She walked up to the board floor and went to greet Phasma with a smile. 

\- Good morning , Phasma - she said. 

Phasma looked at Rey and tilted her head with a smile. 

\- Good morning, Rey. What a good mood today! 

\- oh, yes. - she said -do you know if we have Legendary's answer yet? 

\- yes! They sent an email to the office. I've already forwarded it to you and Mr Solo. 

\- thank you, Phasma! 

Rey walked into her office. She opened the glass windows to get some air in. And she was hit by the wind coming in from the sea. The morning sun was hot on her skin, making her freckles more apparent. 

Rey sat down on the table and inhaled the icy air coming in through the windows. She opened her purse and put away her headphones. Then she turned on her computer and went to check the email Phasma had forwarded. 

" Dear Director Solo of the Amidala Company, and Miss Kenobi, chief architect. 

I hereby come by way of this email to say that I have received your blueprint for the new studio. Amelia and Edgar presented me with this brilliant idea, and I can't lie, I really like it. I spent the whole day thinking about it and came to the conclusion that your plan is the best one I have received. You managed to find a great solution to the problem in the place without changing it too much, and that's what we wanted. So, I will send you the contract this week through my representative Amelia Dargeron. I thank you in advance for your services. This partnership will be very promising. 

Sincerely, Founder of Legendary Entertainment, Thomas Tull" 

Rey leaned back, with a smile. They had made it. They had gotten the contract! 

Rey left the room and walked to Ben's living room. She didn't knock on the door, she just walked in. And was surprised not to see him there. She frowned and poked her head out of the room, facing Phasma. 

\- Hasn't he arrived yet?- she asked 

\- no - Phasma said - I was just about to talk to you about that. He's three hours late and I've called him six times already. He doesn't answer. 

\- That's weird. - she said, picking up her phone. She called Ben. The phone rang and rang and rang, and fell into voicemail. She tried again, three more times, but Ben didn't answer. - Something must have happened- she said. - Do me a favor, Phasma. Answer Legendary's email through my computer , I'll go see where Ben is. 

\- Yes, ma'am - she said. 

Rey picked up her bag from her office and left the building. She took a taxi to Ben's house, getting worried. 

Ben wasn't exactly the type to be late. He was annoyingly punctual. He was rarely late. What had happened? 

Rey got out of the taxi and walked to Ben's door. She rang the bell and waited for nearly ten minutes, and when no one answered, she decided to jump the gate. 

It was very difficult. The gate had nowhere to lean on but the wall, and it was too high. Rey had to climb on a bin and pull herself up with her arms. She got her clothes all dirty in the process. She nearly fell into a rose bush when she jumped into the yard. 

Rey cleaned her clothes before going in. She walked to the front door and snatched it open. 

\- Ben?- she called out, advancing across the room. 

The house was a mess. There were wine and whisky bottles all over the floor, and a few drink stains on the carpet. She made her way to the kitchen, which was even dirtier and messier. 

\- Ben!- she called, louder, walking up the stairs. 

Rey heard the sound of something falling on the floor above. She ran upstairs and looked for the third floor staircase. She arrived gasping in the hallway, opening door by door. 

Rey found Ben at the end of the corridor, in a room full of architectural models, made of wood. He was slumped on the floor, with a destroyed model around him, and a hammer in his hand.


	20. 20

\- Ben!- Rey walked over to him, kicking the wood away. She grabbed his neck and placed his torso in her lap. He had blood dripping from his hair. Rey ran her hand over his head until she found a wound that was bleeding non-stop - oh, my God. Ben? Ben can you hear me?

Ben frowned, waking up, and grimaced. 

\- aaargh - he grumbled, in pain 

\- shhhh. Don't talk. Can you move? 

Ben tried to get up, but he got dizzy and fell back into her lap. He shook his head, denying it. 

\- Okay. Do you feel pain anywhere besides your head? 

Ben looked down at his hand that held the hammer. There was a piece of wood stuck in his arm, going up his arm. He let his head fall onto Rey's legs. The hammer fell to the floor with a loud sound 

Rey forced herself to breathe. She wasn't going to panic. It was going to be all right. 

\- I'm going to call an ambulance - she said. 

\- There's no time. They'll take too long. Take my car - he said. 

\- You can't get up! I can't carry you. 

\- Give me a minute - he said, breathing heavily. 

Ben tried to get up again, more slowly this time. He sat up. Rey helped him up, holding him by the good arm. She led him down the corridor slowly, as he stumbled and staggered and his face had blood dripping all over. 

Blood dripped down Rey, and with each warm drop she felt go down her shoulder, she felt a shiver of fear. She took a deep breath, controlling her panic. They went down the first staircase, but Ben couldn't make it down the second. Rey left him sitting at the top of the ladder. 

\- I'm going to start the car - she said - where's the key? 

\- On the kitchen table - he said, weakly. 

\- don't go tearing that thing off your arm! It will only bleed more. Please don't pass out again, I can't carry you. 

\- I'll try - he said. 

Rey ran down the stairs, her heart was racing. She grabbed the car key and ran outside. 

Ben wasn't going to die, was he? He couldn't die. His wounds were severe, but he was awake and hanging on. That had to be a good sign. 

Rey started the car and stopped it in front of the door of the house. She went back inside and up the stairs. Ben was pale, swaying unsteadily, smelling blood and looking sickly. 

\- Come on, Ben. Not long now - she said, taking him by the arm. 

Ben stood up slowly and walked down, step by step. When he was almost at the end, he stumbled and held on to the banister to keep from falling. But he held on the handrail with his injured arm, and the wood went a little further into his arm. 

Ben let go of the handrail and let out a loud, harsh scream. Rey cringed, afraid. She held him by the chest so he wouldn't fall, and he leaned his entire weight on her. She began to panic. He couldn't fall on top of her, she couldn't carry him, he was huge and heavy, and she was much smaller and didn't had enough strength for that. 

Rey pushed him back to stand and carried him, with him leaning over her, to the door. She had to use all her physique until Ben recovered. She carried him to the car and sat him down. 

\- don't prop your head up, it will hurt - she said - if you pass out I swear I'll finish killing you. 

Rey got into the driver's seat and buckled Ben in. She switched on the automatic gate and it stood up, which seemed to last an eternity. 

Rey drove off and closed the gate. She drove off down the street fast, her chest rising and falling without stopping. She checked on Ben every five seconds. 

Ben leaned his good arm on the dashboard of the car, his head tilted down. She looked at him, and saw that he was losing consciousness. Rey stopped the car in the middle of the street, not caring about the other cars behind her. 

\- Ben - she picked up his head carefully and turned it towards her. - Hey, look at me. - but he didn't raise his eyes. - KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, SOLO!- she shouted, and her shout woke him up. He looked at her - don't close your eyes. Stay with me, do you hear? 

He nodded, weakly. He reclined back and kept himself awake. Rey drove on again. 

They arrived at the hospital, but were blocked at the entrance by a security guard who said they were having construction work done in the car park. Rey ran past him and ran over the timbers that covered the floor of the car park, fast, breaking them behind her. Ben grabbed the car door, startled by the violence with which Rey drove. 

She turned back to the entrance at the ambulatory door. She ran out of the car and caught Ben on the other side. 

She didn't even have to call for help. The nurses on the emergency ward saw movement outside and came to help. They grabbed Ben from her arms and one of them took her by the arm. 

\- What happened, ma'am?- she asked. 

\- I don't know. I went to pick him up at his house and he was down. I think he might have been drunk yesterday, it was full of drinks in the house, and there's a piece of wood on his arm and his head is bleeding. 

\- can you stay here to be his escort? He'll need someone to sign the papers and take him back home. 

\- I can, of course. 

Rey followed the nurses, but they wouldn't let her into the emergency room. She stood at the window, watching what they were doing. 

Rey's chest was still racing, and hurting. She had worry eating away at her chest, and a horrible feeling that her heart was going to jump out of her mouth at any moment. 

They laid Ben down on a bed and injected something into his vein. A doctor was talking to Ben who responded weakly. He said something that made Ben's eyes widen and his legs shake. Ben was panicking. 

Rey walked into the room. The nurses tried to stop her, but she pushed them away. 

\- you can't come in here, lady! 

\- Leave her - the doctor said - did you find him? 

-yes - Rey said, walking over to Ben. She took a stool and sat down beside him, taking his hand. He turned to her and the nurses went back to work. 

\- Miss - the doctor said - we're going to have to remove the wood while he's awake, if he has any broken bones we need to know. 

Rey looked at the doctor. He had a controlled look on his face. She looked at Ben's bleeding arm and then looked at Ben. 

\- It's fine - she said. Ben shook his head , denying it. She ran her hand through his hair lightly - it will hurt, but you can do it - she said, in the softest tone she could manage. She was afraid inside, her hands trembling. But she needed to calm him down. - Just look at me- she moved closer to him, looking into his eyes -they need to get that thing out of your arm, and it's going to hurt a little, but then they'll sedate you and everything will be fine, okay? Can you hold on with me? 

Ben nodded, breathing uncontrollably. He held her hand tighter. 

\- Take a deep breath. With me, here we go. One, two three, four, five - she counted, breathing in slowly. - Hold it in. And exhale the air in five again. - he did as she said. She smiled - that, very good. 

\- do you want me to count, Ben?- the doctor said. He nodded without looking at the doctor. - Okay. Are you ready? 

Ben looked into Rey's eyes. She could almost feel his fear. The wood was almost all the way up his arm, it would be a painful thing to get out. 

\- Ready - he said. 

The doctor started to take the wood out. Ben's eyes widened and he almost crushed Rey's hand with his own. She stroked his face, her hand trembling. 

The more the doctor pulled, the more Ben turned pale. He grimaced in pain and let out a harsh growl. And he began to panic again. He tried to look at his arm, but Rey held his head. 

\- no - she said - look at me, Ben. - she looked at his arm. There was still half of the wood missing, which she recognised as the roof of one of the models - only half of it and we're done. You can do it - she looked at him, but he was already passed out. - Ben! Ben!- she called -he's fainted, Doctor! -And just then Ben's monitor started beeping non-stop 

\- he's crashing!- the doctor stopped - Rebecca, the defibrillator! 

A nurse asked Rey to excuse herself and grabbed the defibrillator from a cupboard near Ben's bedside. She ran a gel between the plates and rubbed them against each other. She opened Ben's shirt, exposing his bare chest. 

\- clear!- she said. She pressed the plates against his chest, and he jumped at the sound of electricity that followed from the defibrillator. She did that three times until the monitor stabilized. 

Ben woke up coughing and gave a scream of pain, which startled the nursing team. His screams were harsh, loud and hoarse, like a roaring beast. 

\- Stop!- he said. 

\- No, Ben. Ben,- Rey said, - you can't keep that thing on your arm! 

Ben looked at Rey. He swallowed dryly. 

\- Can you take it off at once?- he asked the doctor. 

\- no. We can't leave more splinters. The less splinters, the better it will be. 

\- Okay, then go already. 

Ben kept his gaze on Rey, cold and pained. The doctor removed, slowly , the other half of the wood, and when it was finally all out, Rey let her shoulders relax. Ben tilted his head back, relieved. Rey didn't even realise at that moment the size of that gesture, but she leaned over and kissed Ben's hand, the fear running out of her body. 

\- It's going to be all right - she said, rubbing his hand. 

A nurse slid an anaesthetic into Ben's vein, and little by little, he lost consciousness. 

Rey was removed from the room. She had to wait in the waiting room while Ben went in for surgery. They would have to do some tests on his head and remove the splinters from inside his arm. 

Rey signed the hospital paperd about the disclaimer and called Phasma to explain what happened. 

\- Rey!- Phasma answered - finally! Did you find him? 

\- Yes. I'm in the hospital, Phasma. 

\- What? Why? 

\- Ben had an accident at home. He's in surgery now. Listen to me, Phasma. Tell Matthias to hold it together there. I'm not gonna be able to get back to work anytime soon. I'll call you when he gets out of surgery, okay? 

\- Yes, ma'am. What about you? Are you hurt? 

\- No. I'm fine. I'll call you back. 

\- Okay, I'll wait. I'll talk to Matthias. 

\- Thanks, Phasma- she said, and hung up. 

Rey didn't stay still. She paced back and forth, or sat there swinging her legs. And after hours, she had drunk at least half a litre of coffee. 

Two hours later, Rey had done all the exercises to calm herself that Doctor Carmac had advised, and was finally keeping calm. Ben was going to be fine. The doctors knew what they were doing. 

But all her anxiety returned when Nurse Rebecca entered the room and went straight to her. Rey stood up. Rebecca put her hands together in front of her body. 

\- Miss Rey?- she said. Rey nodded - we got all the splinters out of Ben's arm. And the scans showed that he only had small clots in his brain, which will pass with time. He didn't have any serious brain damage, but he's going to have a lot of headaches for a few days. He doesn't have any broken bones and could be discharged today, depending on what happens during the watch after the surgery. 

Rey let out a relieved breath. 

\- he'll be fine then? 

\- Completely, yes. 

\- oh. Thank you. 

\- he's coming out of surgery now. He won't wake up for at least an hour and a half. Do you want to wait in his room? 

\- Yes, please - she said. 

Rebecca led her to Ben's room, three floors up. Ben was lying in bed, his head and arm bandaged, sleeping with a peaceful expression. 

Rey sat in the chair next to him and watched him sleep. He was no longer soiled with blood. His face was clean and he was wearing his hospital clothes. He seemed so at peace in his sleep that Rey had a second of dread, thinking he was dead and that Rebecca had been lying to her. But she calmed down when she heard the monitor. She was getting too paranoid. 

Rey could hardly believe it. She had woken up that day thinking it was going to be a great day. And it had been. But with a lot of stress, too. It felt like she was stuck with Ben and his troubles, huh?


	21. 21

Rey spent hours there, she took many calls as the architects kept calling her. She had to make sure they knew Ben was okay, or they would be calling all day.

When it was almost three o'clock in the afternoon, Ben woke up. He took Rey by surprise, who was answering Regina's messages. 

\- Rey?- he said. 

Rey raised her head and looked at Ben. He was looking at her, still a little bit groggy. 

\- Hey!- she smiled and turned to him. 

Ben spent a minute in silence, and Rey supposed he was remembering what had happened. He turned to Rey, frowning. 

\- I'm sorry - he said. 

Rey looked at him with confusion. 

\- sorry for what? 

\- for you getting involved with me. I bring nothing but misfortune into your life. 

Rey slapped him. 

\- Don't be an idiot! 

\- oh, don't pretend you like me, Rey. - he said, rising up on his elbows - you hate me. We both know it. You don't have to pretend around me. 

Rey stared at him. Was that what he thought of her? That she hated him? Why? Because she hadn't forgave him for what he had done? Oh, how complicated he was to deal with. 

\- I don't hate you, Ben - Rey said - I did, before. - he turned to her - I don't hate you anymore. You're not the monster I thought you were. And I'm not pretending. But now, what happened yesterday?- she said, changing the subject. 

Ben ran a hand over his face and groped his head, noticing the bandages around his hair. 

\- What did they do to me?- he said 

\- They took the wood out of your arm. And they had to do surgery to get the splinters out. They gave you stitches in your head. You can be discharged today if you behave. 

\- They shaved my hair?-Ben said, looking at her in horror. 

\- I don't think so. Let me see- Rey climbed onto his bed, leaning over his shoulder and unrolled the bands. There wasn't a single point shaved from his hair. -They didn't shave anything off - she said, bandaging it up again. 

\- Are you sure?- he said. 

\- I am - she said, sitting down beside him - now tell me what happened. 

Ben let out a breath, tiredly. 

\- I drank - he said - a little 

\- a little?- she said - your house has more bottles than furniture. You drank all the alcohol in your cellar, didn't you? 

\- Anyway - he said - I don't really remember. I went up to the model room and tried to build a model, I think. I must have spent all night trying, and I couldn't do it. I think I lost my temper and broke what I was building with the hammer. And then I fell, and the model fell with me. And I fainted. And then you came. 

Rey wandered her eyes around the room, thinking. 

\- Why were you drinking?- she asked. 

Ben stared at her as if she was asking the most absurd question in the world. He looked away and shook his head. 

\- I don't remember - he said. But she knew he was lying. 

Rey wasn't going to push him. If he didn't want to tell her, she would respect him. 

The doctor who had seen Ben in the emergency ward knocked on the door and entered the room, with another doctor. 

\- Excuse me - he asked, with a smile - are you awake already? Good. How are you feeling Ben? 

\- Much better, doctor - he said. 

\- Well, I guess I'd better introduce myself. I'm Doctor Kile Jenkins, and this is Doctor Ambren Prescales. We'll be monitoring Ben's recovery for the next few days. 

Rey frowned. 

\- I thought he would be discharged today - she said. 

\- oh, no. He will. But he will need to come back in a few days for consultation. - Dr Prescales said. 

\- ah yes. 

\- These are the medications Ben will have to take. Every day for a month. Next month we'll do a final check and it's fine, he'll be released- Doctor Jenkins said, giving Rey a prescription- you have to keep an eye on him at night, he can be in really bad pain... 

Rey raised her head, embarrassed. She got all fidgety. 

\- ahm...I don't...I don't live with him, doctor- she said. 

The Doctor stared at the two of them. 

\- you don't? Ahm...and do you live alone?- he asked Ben. Ben nodded - no. You'll have to spend this week at his place. He needs to be watched. Especially at night. And he's not released for work until the end of the week. 

\- What?-Ben said- I've got a company to run! 

\- Don't you have a vice director?- he asked. 

\- the equivalent of a vice director in an architectural firm is the chief architect. Rey is my chief architect! 

\- Put someone else to work then - he said - you won't work again until the end of the week at least. You'll be back here at the end of it, and if I think you're good to go, you return. If not, one more week at home for you, mister. 

Ben was indignant. Rey's mind was still spinning on the fact that she was going to have to move in with Ben for that whole week. Was she going to have to help him shower? 

Rey had missed the last thing the doctor had said, and the next thing she knew Prescales was taking Ben's temperature and taking him to do some "quick" tests. 

Doctor Jenkins stood there to talk to Rey. 

\- Rey, what kind of relationship do you have Ben ?- he asked, sitting down in front of her. 

\- I-I'm his girlfriend - she said. 

\- oh. Better. Because you're going to have to help him get dressed and undressed. Because he can't move that arm much until he's recovered, he might pop one of the stitches, and he might bleed out. 

Oh, God. That was all she feared. 

\- Okay - she said - but I don't have to help him shower, do I? 

Jenkins laughed. 

\- No, he can shower with one arm. It's only when it's time to get dressed, or do something that requires both hands. And don't let him make any physical effort the first few days. Then he'll feel better, and he can start to take over on his own. But the initial recovery can last one to two weeks, you'll need to keep an eye on him until he can manage on his own. 

\- Ok. I'll do my best. 

The Doctor explained some care she would need to take with him for the week and Ben returned with Doctor Prescales. 

They signed Ben's discharge and he changed into the bloody clothes he had gone to hospital with. And it was already five o'clock. Rey took the opportunity to go and get Ben's medicines from the hospital pharmacy. 

Rey took Ben to her car and drove out of the hospital. The guard who had barred her from entering earlier looked at her angrily, and she just drove straight past him, again. 

When they were already on their way to the house, Ben decided to speak. 

\- You don't have to stay with me, you know. We don't have to tell the doctor. I can ask my mom to come and... 

. \- Cut the crap, Ben- she said- do you really want your mum to take care of you? - she shook her head - I'll stay with you. You might die in pain all by yourself and not tell anyone. 

\- are you sur... 

\- Shhhhhhhh- she shushed him- you talk too much. Just say thank you. 

Ben turned forward with a smile. 

\- thank you - he said. 

Jannah was finishing washing the dishes, when Rey came through the front door in a hurry. She turned off the tap and went to check on her friend. 

\- What are you doing home so early, Rey?- she said, but stopped when she saw her friend. 

Rey's hair was a bit messy and bloody. She was full of blood. On her shoulder, her arm, her hands. She looked like she just got out of a ugly fight. 

\- In the name of Saint Joseph, what happened to you, Rey?- she said, stopping Rey on the way to her room. 

\- nothing. Ben was in an accident- she said, -it's not my blood. It's his - she said, pointing to the room. 

Jannah turned around and saw Ben, that huge, massive man, sitting on her sofa, his head and arm bandaged. She had seen him on the news, and in pictures, but he was much bigger in person. His dark hair was caught under bandages, which looked like a bandana on his head, and he had blood and dirt all over his clothes. He looked awful, sickly. 

Jannah pushed Rey into the room and closed the door behind her. 

\- Why did you bring him here?- she whispered - I thought you wanted distance from him. 

\- I know you're confused. I'll explain everything. But I can't right now. I have to pack a few things. 

\- What for? 

\- He's out of two surgeries, Jannah! Someone needs to keep an eye on him, because he's crazy. If I let him, he'll make up his mind to go to work today. 

Jannah took a step back, watching Rey stuff a bunch of clothes into a backpack. She didn't recognize her friend anymore. Hating Ben was something she'd been doing since forever. It was almost a trait of her personality. And there she was, dropping everything to help him. 

It had always been pretty obvious that Rey had a crush on Ben in high school. Because she kept telling Jannah the stories, and she was so insistent on the details of what Ben looked like or how he acted, and how she knew a little too much about the guy bullying her, or even how she insisted on hating him a little too hard. It all denoted her crush on him. She thought he was a pain in the ass, the kind of boy who wouldn't leave her side, but she liked that he wouldn't leave her side. Because she always had his attention. And it was almost like a sexual tension of hate between the two of them, from what Jannah had heard her friend tell. 

But that. That was completely different. It was deeper. Rey no longer had only carnal desire for Ben. She cared about him. You could see, stamped across her face, the worry she had about Ben getting hurt. She was halfway through and still hadn't realised how she felt about him. 

But did he feel the same way about her? Or was she just going to suffer at the hand of that bastard? 

Jannah left the bedroom and went into the living room. She went straight at Ben. She sat down beside him violently and took him by the arm. He frowned and looked at her. 

\- What do you want with her?- she said softly. 

\- What?- he said. 

\- You can make a fool of her with your fake relationship bullshit, but I wasn't born yesterday. I know what you did to her. What do you want with her? If you hurt her... 

\- I would never hurt Rey- he said- I've done that enough, and I'm not proud of any of it. 

Jannah released him. She was a great judge of character and she knew from what his eyes screamed that he was telling the truth. And yet, she didn't trust Ben. 

\- Jannah, now is not the time for you to play the lioness - Rey said, leaving the room - stop trying to scare him. - She gave Jannah a hug - I'll call you tomorrow, anything you need, you can call me. 

Jannah watched Rey walk out the door, with Ben behind her, and a backpack on her back. And with unpleasant surprise, she realised that those two idiots liked each other. Much more than they both noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are tired of everything falling apart on Rey's life, but I promise that from now on will happen SO many good things!!!! I'm sorry for the suffering. It's all for the characters development.


	22. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this. I couldn't help it. That was the perfect opportunity.

Rey drove Ben to his house after he had picked up his things at her own place. He wanted to go straight to the shower, but Rey insisted for him to eat something first. Mainly because she wasn't looking forward to having to take his clothes off so soon.

He sat down in the kitchen and Rey roasted one of the chickens that was in the fridge. She served him and made him eat it all, even when he said he wasn't hungry. 

\- I don't think you want to get a slap on the ear, do you?- she said- You're not leaving here until you scrape this plate. 

Rey sat down in front of him and watched him eat. 

\- Aren't you going to eat?he asked. 

\- later - she said - I'll clean up this mess - she stood up and started to collect the drink bottles. 

\- No, Rey. I'll clean them later...- Ben began. 

\- No, Ben. You only have one hand that works now - she said, patting his shoulder twice.- just eat. 

Rey grabbed a rubbish bag and collected all the bottles in the house, going up from the second to the third floor to collect the ones she found on the way. By the time she returned, Ben had finished eating and was heading up to the second floor. 

Rey followed him as he went into the bedroom and got his towel and clean clothes. He went into the bathroom and Rey followed. 

He didn't notice she was behind him until he turned to close the door. 

\- What do you want here?- he asked. 

\- I'll help you - she said - the doctor said you have to move your arm the less possible... 

\- No. Not at all. Just get out of here. I'll manage on my own. 

Rey got annoyed. Who did he think he was to talk to her like that? She grabbed Ben by the hair on the back of his neck, making him lean back in pain from the tug she was giving him. 

\- If you talk to me like that again, I'm going to leave you alone with your mother to take care of you and I'm going to push you off the stairs. Now stop fussing and let me help you. 

\- Argh, okay, okay . Let go of me, it hurts. 

Rey let go of his hair and they stared at each other, both angry and embarrassed. 

Rey helped him remove his shoes and the bands from his arm and head. There was still some blood in his hair, and he would have to wash it out. 

\- I will wash your hair - she said. 

\- you don't have to... 

\- I know what you mean. - she said, throwing the bands away - I'm not really comfortable with the idea either, but what can I do? You're going to get shampoo in your eye and you're going to move your arm and we're going to have to go back to the hospital. I'll tell you what, you're going to get in this tub and fill it with soap. Now hold still. 

Rey climbed up the toilet ramp to reach Ben's head. He reached up so she wouldn't be too far away and fall. She reached for his shirt by the first button and unbuttoned it. She tried not to stare at Ben, or his body, and tried to control the trembling of her hands as she opened his shirt. 

Ben's chest and abdomen were strong and carved. And Rey had to control her throat to keep from letting out a choked sound. He was much broader than she thought. Rey pulled the shirt off his good arm first. She remembered grabbing his biceps when she was drunk, and really, it was massive. She went slower on the other arm, but the blood from the shirt had stuck to his skin in a few spots. She grimaced. 

Ben looked down when he saw her grimace. 

\- just pull it - he said. 

Rey pulled slowly the shirt, listening to the sound of blood peeling off the skin. Ben grimaced as one of the stitches hooked into his shirt and pulled at his skin. Rey stopped, slipped her hand under his arm, getting closer, and released the stitch from his shirt. She pulled the rest off his arm and climbed down from the toilet. 

As she put the shirt in a corner, she prepared herself for the next step. She felt like a little girl. She wasn't innocent. She was a virgin. That meant she had never touched a man, not that she never imagined herself doing it. 

\- I can manage from here, Rey- he said- you can go. 

Rey turned around. Ben was trying to undo the button on his trousers and unzip them, but obviously not succeeding. Rey took a deep breath, swallowing all her shame. She walked over to him. 

\- Excuse me - she said, without looking at him. 

Ben looked at her and hesitated before pulling his hand away. Rey reached for his button and opened it, her gaze fixed on a point behind him. But she had to look to unzip it. She reached down, her fingers lightly brushing against what was under his trousers. She couldn't help but notice that it was bulky, which made her almost die of embarrassment. 

Rey took a step back. 

\- I'm going to take the clothes to wash - she said , turning away - can you take them off please? 

Rey heard a low chuckle behind her. She controled the impulse of punching Ben in the face. Did he think that was funny? 

Ben's hand, holding his trousers, appeared on her shoulder. She reached for it, grabbed the shirt and left the bathroom as quickly as possible, closing the door behind her. 

Rey walked out of his room and stopped in the hallway, taking a deep breath. That had been the most horrifying episode of her life. She felt ashamed and foolish for being embarrassed to see a man's naked body. It's not like she hadn't seen it, in movies, or imagined in her daydreams, but in person it was another level. She hadn't even seen Hux naked. Just half-naked. Which she was very grateful for. She would have worse trauma if she had seen it. 

But what was disturbing Rey the most wasn't that. It was that she had seen Ben's body, and she had been mesmerized. She had tried not to stare, but her eyes kept returning to his chest, his abdomen, his arms. And she was extremely shocked at how huge he was. She could, of course, notice the buttons on his shirts, which almost always struggled to stay closed. But she wasn't prepared for that, and she couldn't explain why it had affected her so much. Maybe it was because he was so hot. She couldn't deny that he was. He had left her with a dry throat. 

Rey went to do Ben's laundry, still with his body in flashes in her head. She put the dirty clothes in the machine and the only soap she could find in there. She hadn't even spent five minutes in the laundry when she heard Ben calling for her. 

Rey ran upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. 

\- Are you decent?- she asked 

\- yes - he said. 

Rey opened the door and almost choked at the sight she had. Ben was sitting in the tub, with white foam covering the entire underside of his body. His arms and torso were wet, dripping water, as was his hair. 

\- Are you going to stay in these clothes?- he asked - you're going to get all wet. Or get blood all over me again. 

Rey couldn't tell if it was that fucking water glistening on his body, radiating a feverish heat through her body, or the way he looked at her, challenging her, but she forgot she was a virgin, and that she was a decent woman, and she did what used to judge as fucking indecent. 

\- You're right - she said 

. Rey took off her shoes. Ben watched her, indifferent. At least until she opened her red shirt, showing the black bra she wore underneath. Then he moved his legs and choked, and disguised it by pretending water had fallen into his mouth. Rey reached down and folded the bars of her trousers up to her thigh. She stood up and tied her hair up in a sloppy bun. 

\- Where's the shampoo?- she asked. 

\- Up there- he said, pointing to the bathroom window, where there was a rack full of products, on top of the tub. 

Rey leaned over the tub, over Ben, on tiptoe, to get his shampoo and conditioner. She didn't look down, but she could feel his gaze down all over her body. 

For a fraction of a minute, she felt that same shame as before, and felt like hiding, but she kept herself there. She had already done the damage, she couldn't just put her shirt back on. 

Rey went behind Ben, on his head, and grabbed the shower hose. She sat on a stool in the bathroom that supported the laundry basket, so that she was taller than he sat and reached the top of his head. 

Rey turned on the hose, wetting Ben's head a little bit more and drawing off the excess blood. Then she filled her hands with shampoo and rubbed one against the other. 

\- Close your eyes and tilt your head - she said 

Ben obeyed her, and she threaded her lather-filled fingers through his hair. Rey massaged Ben's head, taking advantage of the fact that his eyes were closed to peek at his body. 

The water glistened on his chest, the drops dripping slowly. He looked like one of those wet man in the movies, in one of those scenes where they come out of the pool drenched.And he looked so good that way. The sight of the body sent a shiver through Rey's body. She must have rubbed a little hard , because Ben let out a sound of pain. She turned to his hair, carefully massaging the bloody top, the foam turning pink from all the blood. 

Rey felt the stitches in his scalp. It was agonizing. She had to open his hair to get the blood out from between the threads, the appearance was clean, but it gave her the creeps. 

When Rey got the blood off the top, she moved on to the sides of his head. Ben let out a sigh. She bit her lips to hold back the smile. So his hair was one of his weaknesses? 

When Rey moved to the nape of his neck, he softened his head, letting it fall over his chest. Rey cracked a smile, biting her tongue through her teeth. The hairs on Ben's arm shivered as she ran her fingers slowly along the base of his neck. Ben let out another, louder sigh. He was losing his breath. 

She couldn't stop the malice in her smile and thoughts. To have that control over Ben, to be able to make him surrender like that? It was so good. And it was so hot. She was almost feverish, and she couldn't tell if the wetness between her legs was hers or the water dripping endlessly from the tub, soaking her body. 

Rey was glazed over, her body on fire, and Ben was almost gasping at her fingers massaging the space between his ears , his hair and his neck. 

She had to control herself when she had a terrible urge to lean in and experiment what Ben's wet neck tasted like. And it was so hard. He was right there, bending to her power. She could do whatever she wanted, and the way Ben was, he wasn't going to deny anything. He was surrendering to Rey's hands, without even thinking. And that urge was disturbing. 

What indecent thoughts! Rey had to put herself in her place. She had to remember what their relationship was. 

That was when she realised that she didn't know what their relationship was. They had been enemies, in school, and remained so half their lives, but after that night at the premiere, they had changed. He wasn't her friend. And he certainly wasn't her boyfriend. So what was he? 

Accomplice. 

The word came to Rey as a sin. Ben was her accomplice in a big lie, and her accomplice in almost every area of their lives. They had made a connection. Very confused and irresolved, but firm and fixed. They understood each other, they didn't judge each other. They were both broken kids who had hurt each other and then had come together through inexplicable circumstances. 

The word felt wrong, dirty. As if she was doing something wrong. 

She was, of course. Lying to everyone about her relationship. But everyone lies. She wasn't committing a crime. 

And oh, how many ways she could think of complicity. And obviously by the situation she was in, washing Ben's hair, some dirty ones came to her mind. She had no control of the impulsive thought that came into her head of how their complicity would work if Ben took her to bed. 

Rey turned red at the thought, and immediately pushed it out. She had to concentrate on what she was doing , or Ben would notice her roaming her eyes over his body, and it would be the most shameful thing. 

Rey hosed off the shampoo and ran the conditioner through his hair. She took less time on that last part. 

. She finished washing Ben's hair and put the products away. Ben raised his head slowly, opening his eyes meekly. He looked up at Rey. She was all wet with the water from the tub. Her trousers were sticking to her body in some spots, and drops of water were dripping from her belly and glistening on her breasts. 

She didn't want to see his reaction. She simply grabbed her things and left the room. She had to take her own bath. Not just because of the blood and dirt. But because she doubted that the wetness on her underwear was just water from the tub.


	23. 23

Ben was shaking. He had come out of the bathroom, bandaged his arm and head and changed , with a little difficulty because of his arm, and was in his room, organising his things.

The image of Rey wet couldn't get out of his head. It was horrible. He tried to push the thought away, to concentrate on what he had to do, or even on the headache he felt, but it would come back, like a spell, and take over his mind. 

He sat up in bed and closed his eyes. Immediately the image of her body, dripping wet, appeared on his eyelids. He ran through the memory, visualising the clothes sticking to her body, her skin glistening with water, her hair damp, her lips moistened, her legs long and perfect. Aaaaargh. She was like a muse. 

Ben opened his eyes and ran his good hand through his damp hair. The feel of her hands, massaging his scalp and driving him crazy, made his body shiver. 

How dared she? To tease him like that? He knew she had done it on purpose. Why else would she have done it? If she hadn't done it on purpose, then Ben would go insane. That woman couldn't be capable of spinning his head around without making any effort, doing those things in innocence. And naturally making him drool for her. 

He had to stop thinking about her. Or he wouldn't be able to face her. He had to focus. 

Ben finished organising his things and walked downstairs to the living room. Right after that, came Rey, and he almost stuck his head under his pillow to keep from letting out any sound from his mouth. 

Rey had just got out of the shower, her hair wet, and the smell of soap and perfume filling everywhere she passed. 

She wore only a simple, blue dress, down to her knees, and a pair of slippers. She walked straight past him , not noticing he was there, she went straight to the kitchen and came back with the jar of Mexican dulce de leche Ben kept inside the fridge, with a bag of bread under her arm, a glass of juice and a knife. 

\- What are you doing?- he asked. 

Rey jumped in fright, nearly knocking everything to the floor. She turned to him, angry. 

\- What the fuck, Ben!- she said - Stop scaring me like that, you are like a ghost, Jesus! 

\- You know this is mine, right?- he said, trying not to pay attention to her naked legs. 

Rey wasn't looking at him directly in the eyes, and Ben was sure it had something to do with what they had done in the bathroom. 

\- And do I want to know if this is yours?-she looked at him debauched- I'm not going to take care of you for free. This is my payment- she said, taking a seat on the couch opposite him. 

Ben watched her put her things on the living room table and turn on the TV. Rey fiddled with his tv until she managed to get it set to British tv programming. She put on a British programme and leaned over the sofa, with the jar in her hands. 

The show was a comedy show that Ben used to watch when he lived in England, and he would usually like to distract his head, if it wasn't bursting with pain. 

Ben tried to pay attention to the programme, but his head was throbbing. It felt like he had hit an axe into his head, it hurt everywhere. It was excruciating. 

And amidst all the pain he focused on Rey's innocent joy at eating candy. She stared at the TV, laughing with something that had happened. She scooped the spoon into the pot, and stuffed it into her mouth, pulling the candy out with her teeth and lips, licking the spoon and running her lips over any leftover candy. Ben could have taken that image to a sexual level, like any other out-of-control scoundrel man would, but all he could see was a child, genuinely happy to eat a whole pot of candy, soiling the corners of his mouth and giggling at her favourite TV show. He didn't even know if that was Rey's favourite, but he supposed she liked it, as she couldn't stop laughing like a choking hyena. 

The next minute, his head began to feel a horrible, unbearable pressure. He squeezed his eyes shut and brought his hand to his head, tilting it down. He felt his blood pressure drop and began to lose air. 

\- Ben?- Rey's voice sounded distant and low. - Ben! 

He felt an icy hand on the back of his neck. He felt Rey's hand rub his shoulder as if it were numb. Rey slapped it away and he opened his eyes, looking forward. 

\- Ben! Breathe slowly - Rey's voice seemed louder this time. 

He inhaled the air slowly, filling his chest and releasing. Rey leaned him back until he was leaning the back of his head against the couch. His head ached from the movement, but it soon got better. Ben continued taking deep breaths as Rey placed his feet on the table and stretched his body. She ran to the kitchen and returned with something in her hands. When Ben saw what it was, he shook his head. 

\- put it under your tongue, Ben - she said, offering her hands full of salt - obey, or I'll shove it all down your throat. 

Ben took some salt from her hand and put it under his tongue. Rey threw the rest of the salt in the kitchen sink and walked back to him. She fanned him with her hand as he tried to catch his breath. There were black flashes in his vision, which began to fade as he returned to his normal state. 

When he recovered, Rey was very angry. 

\- Did you take the medicine, Ben?- she asked - the one I left on your bed when I went after you, did you take it? 

\- No - he said. 

\- You dumbass!- she said - if you don't take your meds, you won't get better, you...aaaaargh. You have to take it on time! 

Rey hurried up the stairs and returned with Ben's meds. She took her glass of juice and handed it to him. He took the medicine in one go and handed the glass back to Rey. 

\- Sorry - he said. 

He was genuinely sorry. He didn't want to keep giving Rey a hard time. He had been so distracted by thinking about her that he hadn't even seen the medicine. 

\- just don't forget it again -she said - let's get you to bed. You need to rest- she said, going to put away the things she had picked up back at the kitchen. 

Ben stood up, a little dizzy, and went upstairs to his room. He tried to tell Rey that she didn't have to go with him, but she slapped him for it. 

Ben lay down and covered himself up. Rey closed the windows and turned off the light. She sat next to Ben and was silent for so long that he only heard her voice when he was almost asleep. 

\- Ben?- she asked. 

\- Hum?- he grunted, sleepy and groggy. 

\- you will never come near a hammer again, do you hear me? 

Ben gave a soft laugh. 

\- I promise I won't, darling - he said, picking up her hand and falling asleep. 

Rey froze. Ben's hand was holding hers, but he had already fallen asleep. She stared into the darkness, stagnant. 

Had Ben called her darling? 

Rey shook her head. Ben was groggy from the medicine. He didn't know what he was saying. Probably. 

Rey got out of bed and walked downstairs to the living room. His voice kept repeating that word in her head. 

Darling. Darling. Darling. Darling. Darlin... 

Rey's phone rang. She grabbed it from her bra and answered it. 

\- Hello?- she said. 

\- Rey, a letter came for you from the post office,- Jannah said, on the other end of the line. 

\- From whom? 

\- hold on. - she said. There was a minute of silence - Rey...um...- she sighed- it's from the UK federal court - she said. 

Rey's blood turned to ice. She sat down on the couch. Fear coursing through her body. She knew the subpoena would come. And it had even lingered. She'd spent good three months in California after leaving England. But that didn't prepare her for this moment. The moment when the bomb would actually arrive on her doorstep. 

\- open it - she said - read it to me. 

Rey heard the sound of the envelope paper being torn open and the letter being opened. 

\- Letter of subpoena to attend the court hearing meeting of the legal case of Misappropriation of funds, requested by Armitage Hux against Rey Kenobi Palpatine, which will take place on...- Jannah was silent - it will happen in a week and a half, Rey! 

\- just keep reading, Jannah. 

Jannah cleared her throat. 

\- directed by Federal Judge Richard Farhampton. The hearing will begin at two o'clock in the afternoon at the address described at the end of the document, and has no set end time. Bring witness and lawyer. It is mandatory that the defendant has no contact with the witness until the day of the hearing. Justification for absence from the hearing must be provided within three days of the date scheduled. The hearing will be rescheduled, but in the case of a second absence, the judge will consider the hoop as an escape and the defendant will be arrested immediately. 

Rey closed his eyes, nervousness rising up his throat. 

\- where is the hearing going to be? 

\- In London- Jannah said- Rey, you haven't even managed to talk to the lawyer yet, now what? Come here and we'll find a... 

\- I can't - she said - you're my only witness. You're the only person who knows all the details besides Doctor Jonas. I can't talk to you until then. 

\- You can't afford to pay for your flight! 

\- I'll find a way, Jannah. I have to go. 

Rey hung up. She let her head drop. She couldn't wake Ben and ask for the lawyer's number. She would have to wait until the next day to solve that bomb.


End file.
